Search Results: being an individual

I'm 23, Girlfriend is 24. We have been together for 4 years.

I was diagnosed with depression and severe panic disorder many years before I met her, however, it is off-and-on and I was fairly stable during the time I met her. This past year I have been at a constant peak with my depression and panic disorder and have been seeking professional help.

My girlfriend started going through depression for the first time. I honestly think that being around my depression was toxic for her and caused it.

With my depression I am very down, sensitive, and want my space. With her depression she is very angry, needy, and wants to be with me every day.

We agreed to both start therapy right away.

She went to 2 therapy sessions then quit. She said therapy isn't for her. She hasn't made any effort since then to seek help or engage in activities that could help. This really disappointed me and made me feel like I was alone in the journey.

I have been going to individual therapy twice a week, group therapy once a week, and seeing psychiatrist once a month. Also in 2 weeks I am starting an intensive therapy program which will consist of 8 hours a day, 5 days a week for at least 6 months. I am very serious and committed to getting better.

I suggested we breakup and take time apart to focus on our own health with the possibility of getting back together in the future. We are both severely depressed and with how opposite we are, we can not meet each others expectations (me needing patience and space, her needing patience and extra attention) and it causes arguments. She cried and begged me to stay. She said if we truly loved each other then we would stick together through the hard times, support each other, and help each other grow.

I'm not sure if she's right. I'm worried about making the wrong decision. What would you do?

Photo by "Shane Rounce" on Unsplash

Parent - Someone in Parent may use body language that is angry or impatient such as finger-pointing, fist-clenching, "in your face". The language of the Parent may be judgmental, critical or patronizing.

Adult - You can tell that someone is in their Adult when they are showing interest and pay attention, they are not defensive or need the be threatening in any way. A conversation with someone in Adult is reasonable, straight-forward and oriented towards solving problems. They tend to ask for information before forming opinions, such as asking "why", "what", "how", "who", "where" and "when". Individuals working from Adult use logic statements - true, false, probably, possibly. They don't force their opinions on you as if talking to a child but will offer their own thoughts in a non-dogmatic way: "I think", "I realize", "I see", "I believe".

Child - An individual who is in their Child often behaves more emotionally than they do at other times, which could be sad, angry, despairing, fearful, depressed. They may use the body language of a Child, such as squirming, giggling, whining, shrugging, teasing. There are many phrases that point to the Child being present, the person tends to use simple language such as "I want", "I need", "I don't care", "don’t know".

Remember: When you are trying to identify ego states, words are only part of the overall message.

55% is body language
38% of meaning is intonation
Only 7% of communication is the actual words spoken