Search Results: fear in relationship

Should emotional puzzle pieces align just right.. after all... easy feels good...

If so, it means you don't have to change...

... context...
I've had a friendzone that felt... so easy going, fun, no pain. I learned nothing... time went by... I don't recall changing as I wasn't challenged emotionally as I remained in my comfort zone... one conditioned from the wounds of life. Do you feel fine as you are? My "soul mate" as one described, was a match from hell. She enabled me to be suspended in my flawed state of being as time wasted away.

I've had two romantic relationships since wit lots of pain, the dangling friendzone was poison, but real issues resulted from my emotional flaws in intimate relationships.

My girlfriend today challenges me on moral, value, integrity. She saw foundation cracks early... testing my perceptions was hard, I denied when she tested... avoidance, perception. It hurt her greatly to struggle against "the waves" of my wounded subconscious. I changed, after hours or weeks of fighting.

Serious flaws in my deeper inner self were exposed like the archeologists uncover old relics. Wounds of long ago, stuff that felt "normal" in me, controlled me... limited me... guided me in the wrong directions. Fear... of intimacy, shame. Trusting the wrong people and mis trusting... traced to early life bonding issues with mother. Avoidant personality, passive aggressive... wounds from being sensitive and being hurt and inability to fight back. Just a few. The roots of all is deep emotional wounding in childhood. Point being...

I was warned about how relationships are... work. I didn't understand. Being challenged with love is good.. for your own and mutual growth! Does it end? Is life like a game of donkey kong... conquor one level to get to another, try not to fall down to the bottom... or jump when it's too hard.