What are your biggest fears about relationships?

Question

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Judging by the answers from both guys and girls, men and women it’s clear people are afraid of getting hurt. Let me just say, the entertainment industry sexualizing culture around the world is the culprit. Dating apps, magazines, movies, porn, music, influence of “friends”. They all played a role with unhealthy behaviour of pursuing our lusts and desires. I think the two things that drives a relationship to end is money or adultery. Money because we live in a cut throat society where governments make you work 5 days a wk (40+ hrs). This can essentially hurt the family unit.

People come back home disgruntled, upset or angry which can be a snowball becoming an mountain of emotions because people are angry with work but that anger explodes in relationships. Don’t take your job so seriously. The last few years I personally felt that the average work week for a full time employee should be 4 days a week and not beyond 30 hrs. I want couples to have more time with each other and or their kids. As far as adultery goes, we chase what we lust. This is tougher to dissect because if someone isn’t being fulfilled sexually they could look elsewhere.

I think guys cheat based on the physical needs of being horny. I think women cheat based on abandonment from the guy she’s with not giving her attention. That’s what I think, but both genders could vary on the person. That’s why I think it’s important to have an open/honest convo. Don’t commit to someone if they have a shady past and they don’t seem to articulate the right answers. I notice nowadays people run in relationships because they are lonely. Fuck that, find yourself, fix yourself, then commit. I hear or read terms such as simp or incel for guys but girls also pursue dudes when she’s “lonely” and feels broken, we gotta change ourselves first.

Me personally, I’m not a fan of following how others live. Posting everything on social media, living life vicariously. Assuming watching Marvel, listening to terrible music, living in a fucked up world and fucked up culture. We assume is the right way to live but look at the answers below, people are more miserable and nervous about the current state. That’s why drinking and partying is used to “blur” or “cancel” rectifying life’s issues.

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Considering I used To be married and
My marriage lasted 14 years , people just get bored of each other and the spark fades away , It gets to a point where you really have nothing more to share with each other if you both really don’t have much in common , people change and if you and your partner aren’t on the same page when those changes come , you really have nothing to share anymore with each other , The intimacy and affection slowly fades away and your partner starts to become a room mate over being a lover , Why it’s probably best to meet someone that has a lot in common with you so you don’t
Get bored of each other , Most people jump into relationships thinking they can accept someone because of their differences and it’s new and exciting but eventually you start missing the things you actually enjoy to appease them and then you start to butt heads , So for me to ever get into a serious relationship again , I would have to meet a girl that has a lot in common with me for it to even work. I am at a point in life now that I can literally say I been there and done it and now it’s something that isn’t on my top priority list cuz I have a lot more walls up for a girl to try to take down if she wants to prove to me that she is loving and caring and faithful , It seems nowadays most people just like The convenience of each other , and no one really loves From the heart anymore, when things go bad they run to someone else to save them instead of trying To fix their current relationship , People have become more selfish and only really care about themselves , So what I fear most in a relationship is just being used and a convenience until someone better comes along

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Hurting someone I love. Being hurt myself. Love is tricky stuff. It goes right to the root of us and has the ability to completely shatter you. It takes bravery to be in a relationship 100%. And after being hurt badly once of twice, it tends to make you hold back on some levels even if only subconsciously. That in itself can cause problems. Love requires trust. Both of them and yourself. We want comfort and stability… just to know ‘is it going to last?’ Fearing you might be the one to screw it up in some stupid way on some random bad day. There is a lot of levels of fear in a relationship.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

All of my life i have had many relationships. This one in particular now is different. Without giving much detail, I can only say that I do worry about my future with him in how it will all pan out.

jennifer_bloom · Answer

Being cheated on, being abused, or losing the quality of the relationship due to health problems in my future partner.

samavia · Answer

He will make me experionce things I never made him experionce..(bad things) you can do bad if I do bad but if I do good maybe don't return same but at least dont do bad
He would not be able to match my energy or mental level.
I fear he won't give me Same what I give him... I trust my self I will give my 100% but he won't...
Toxic.
Manypulating etc
I only remember this right now
If I say ideol type I wanna marry myself I wish there was a person like me in this world I had proposed already

Inexpensivefurniture · Answer

-That I'll be abused again
-That my trust will be betrayed
-That I will be too weak to leave if I need to/end up stuck in a bad relationship
-That I won't be enough (am I romantic enough? Am I paying enough attention? Am I giving them what they need?)
-That I'll be too much (Am I talking about my problems too much? Am I being annoying? Am I expecting too much? Am I too clingy?)
-That after we're already committed we'll learn a deal breaker about the other
-That I'll forget to take care of myself, too busy trying to be everything my partner needs
-That I won't be confident enough to ask for what I need/want
-That I'll hurt them somehow

FilmGuy93 · Answer

Okay, so what truly and legitimately terrifies me is the very real possibility that the woman I'm dating is going to randomly change her mind about me without any indication or communication to me and just destroy our potentially years long relationship because she's simply not feeling it anymore.

I have so many life experiences of women just randomly changing their minds about me and I have no interest in that garbage moving forward. I'm not going to build my life and career simply to have them jeopardized by the whims of a woman who woke up one day feeling like I've become a problem to her for whatever reason.

Pyrofox · Answer

Probably if I have a kid with a girl I'm scared to end up a single dad. I KNOW it sounds like LOL, PARENTING of all things. But its seriously stressful. Especially if its a girl, no offense to y'all ladies but its a real drain when ya gotta deal with all these wimpy chads who are thinking more with their sausage than their heart.

TwinTonyz · Answer

You can just decide to leave one day and there's nothing I can do about it. There doesn't have to be an explanation, terms, or any discussion, and you can do it for any reason you want. If we're married, I'm out substantial resources and assets. If you want to burn me, say whatever vile things you want. At the end of it all, you will win everything. That's terrifying.

Makes me wonder why men get married at all anymore.

Jake99999 · Answer

I don’t have any fears. I am in the best one I have ever been in, and it’s for real. Life is good.

I have been through a lot of shit in my life. I don’t fear much of anything. If shit happens, I will worry about it then. 99% of the things we waste time fearing or worrying about, never happen. That is my opinion on it.

TexasRed95 · Answer

Not being good enough. I'm 26 this December and I haven't even talked to a girl since high school because I don't have a car yet. Every time I get money saved up there is something I have to drop my saving into. I just don't see much point even though I have a home and a stable well paying job.

FinalFantasyBro · Answer

1. Being cheated on or being the person who cheats on my future lover.
2. Gold Digger
3. Finding a girl who doesn't wants to have sex. I actually want to have sex with my future girl.
4. Finding a person who actually doesn't love me.
5. Considering I don't want to be a father, I kinda scared of finding a girl who wants to have children.

Sarahr123 · Answer

I have fear of abandonment, fear of being cheated on, fear of them losing interest, fear of not being good enough for them, fear of not being able to keep them happy, fear of them getting bored of me, fear of not staying good looking and attractive to them forever, fear of something terrible happening to them or losing them to death and also fear of dying myself and being forgotten and replaced by them.

Hypnos0929 · Answer

That she'll get bored with me...
First girl I ever really liked, talked with, confided in, sexted with basically got bored with me after a week of no contact due to my mom being unable to pay our phone bill. It really hurts to care about someone who you can practically see running away from you. Now it's my biggest concern.

VanillaSalt · Answer

The end and everything that comes with it. Like why did I put forth all this time, money, and effort if your just going to walk away with half of everything I own? For the simple fact divorce is incentivized I will never marry.

serious · Answer

I don't fear love and relationships but what I fear is a woman may fall in love with me and so much so I would mean the world to her and it is something I never want.

My only wish is to stay single for life

DizzyDesii · Answer

Wasting my time or feeling trapped. Im all for commitment but i dont wana feel trapped with the wrong person. When im officially dating someone, if things go wrong, i find it hard to end things because of the status and well thats when i start to feel trapped

Anonymous · Answer

Being cheated on, or being left without a reason... These are my major fears, and I think it's normal because every relationship comes with it's fears... I love my mand and he loves me, but YET, these two things scare me.

Wester1967 · Answer

That I’ll give her too many orgasms and too much pleasure and she’ll think it’s too good to be true because all her other BFs treated her like crap. Then she’ll think something is wrong and want to go back to getting treated like crap because this is not normal for her

exitseven · Answer

I used to jump in to a relationship with both feet. I was always a do it all or don't do it at all kind of guy. I got burned plenty of times but always just brushed myself off and got right back on the horse. Then one day I had enough. I was hurt for the last time and I was afraid of getting hurt again. I had planned on giving up on dating maybe for good.
Ironically I met my future wife the very next day.

PeacefulRainDrop · Answer

Why not focus on everything that could go right instead of bad? With everything theirs risks without taking chances you won't grow... pain and hard times are unavoidable.

bambi_01 · Answer

That the guy is either going to leave or cheat on me. I’ve been cheated on in every relationship I’ve been in and my dad cheated on my mum. So it is a big insecurity of mine that I’m still learning how to get over.

pppppkk · Answer

that i will still love him but he’ll fall out of love with me

AudreyV92 · Answer

Being controlled (not being able to do what I want when I want) dealing with my partner being jealous and constantly having to explain the reasons for my actions 🤷‍♀️

FatherJack · Answer

I avoid them , to me , they are nothing but stress , aggravation , & arguments. Introverted , not hormonally charged anymore thankfully , and far prefer my own company , not fond of people in general , so have zero desire for one. Single dad , so that means I would stand no chance in the male heavy sausage fest " dating market " anyway.

ShadezMcgee · Answer

Being cheated on. That you can only control your half of it. She may find me find me too boring. Telling me she's not happy, because that has implications it is my fault she feels that way. Not being good enough in her eyes.

Anonymous · Answer

My biggest fear about relationship
1) It being onesided.
2) Me giving me all and the other person never truly felt the same.
3) Getting cheated on even
4) asting my time
5) The heartbreak at the end of the road
6) Not being good enough

And much much more

Little_Bumblebee · Answer

Hurting the other and being hurt. Losing myself along the way.  Being unhappy in the wrong relationship

misterCage4 · Answer

Marrying a fake person. I am afraid she would completely change after we get married. People are scary

Lionman95 · Answer

1. That she´ll get bored with me. 2. That I can´t make her happy.  3. That I can´t fulfill the standards I set myself for a relationship. 4. That I´ll never be sure I´m ready for a relationship.

Gothrocker · Answer

That I am not good enough and that he/she will leave me for someone better because I have too many insecurities and family problems (can't do much about family problems but working on insecurities atm)

es20490446e · Answer

I want a girl that is certain that wants to be with me, and she's capable by herself to direct her life towards a positive outcome.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

Being used... lied to... and cheated. Ther term "being cheated on" is really people's disdain for agreeing to a deal that they get cheated on while they gave up their rights to d or v and like, they got cheated.

JennBITx · Answer

No communication and they are not being honest with me. I need open communication.

Pasiton5 · Answer

That I will wake up and I'm still married to my ex that we don't divorce and the night mare continues, I ever see her in 50 billion years still be too damn soon

HighBoi · Answer

1. Wasting my time and money on somebody who is just using me.
2. Being cheated on by someone who I thought loved me.
3. Losing half of my money, my house, my children, plus child support in divorce court.

Anonymous · Answer

That I will have to say goodbye after giving it my best effort. Essentially I’m the most afraid of wasted time. After my first heartbreak I always wondered if I might have felt a little bit better if I had done anything wrong. But doing everything your supposed to do and still having a relationship fail TERRIBLY as if you are the worst person they ever met... it sucks. And it sucks as much as possible when you know that you loved them more than you even loved yourself

Kartusha · Answer

Being abused, cheated on, in future if I'll have children hurting them. I have seen that happening way too often which makes me doubt humanity or if I will ever meet somebody normal.

Anonymous · Answer

Cheating, catfishijg, not finding love, abuse, thinking I'm a burden, having issues with my views on how long before intimate things start up and breaking up with Mr for them, breaking up with me due to my mental health or the scaring I caused on myself. I have a lot really I dont think thats even the full list.

HawkPerception · Answer

I guess cheating, my partner dying, my partner not truly loving me, etc

little_bird1 · Answer

That after honeymoon phase is over one of us will get bored of the other and want something new.

TheUniqueOne96 · Answer

Heart break, whether it's them leaving me for another, cheating, passing away, not loving me or caring for me, etc.

DiegoO · Answer

There can be multiple valid fears that would be nothing else than anxiety. I don't have any. With the only romantic relation I had, my fears become true and my only options were to move on or stay stuck.

Anonymous · Answer

Getting cheated on or him losing feelings or love for me. My biggest fears...

Jayplays900 · Answer

That I will get too excited and will begin to overstep my boundaries.

Sometimes, I just go too overboard and begin to make other people mad. It's a big reason why I stay away from women nowadays. It is just better for everyone involved.

randomgirl09 · Answer

Cheating 100% - Many of my friends have had relationships ended due to other person cheaitng

LisaRaven · Answer

Like some said already my fear is being cheated on and lied to. (Again)

Question_091 · Answer

Fear of too much being placed on me, or being too close to someone that I might emotionally hurt them, or vice versa. Area of Improvement ☕

FictionalCharacter · Answer

No guy will be able to handle my mood swings and my emotions.

bulperd · Answer

The heartache at the end of the road... so many failed experiences. True love is impossible to come by these days it seems

ColoradoKid · Answer

That she would cheat on me, become pregnant we work on our relationship. Oh.. wait a minute.. I remember doing this.

Mofunfour20 · Answer

Not really a fear but it would suck if she didn't respect me. Id have to leave

Jlegacy · Answer

I have no fears but I prefer courtship. I prefer a relationship headed somewhere good and lasting.

Mr_Potatoman · Answer

The unstoppable marching of time that is slowly guiding us all towards an inevitable death.

t-8900 · Answer

infidelity, alimony payments, not being the child's father.

Anonymous · Answer

Being MeTooed into prison or in front of the firing squad Money Having to perpetuate my corrupted DNA  Not being complete given I can never drive  All my medical issues that are slowly killing me

Pj1981 · Answer

It's a toss up between someone I love cheating on me, failing my partner by not making them happy especially with me.

scooogy · Answer

After all that happened, the greater fear meanwhile is not being used to it if she'd really stay with me. Come and go again and again is what I'm used to. Provided that she has no reason.

innerman · Answer

Admitting to someones face that’ i love them... that im infatuated with them, that they have me heart in their hands and can do with it as they wish

m33lad · Answer

No fear women are just too annoying! And they love arguing and dramas. And always trying to fix the guy while ignoring their own billion issues.

Drzen · Answer

When one partner think the grass is greener on the other side it's the end

Nerdvana · Answer

Not having one. Then not having a loving and healthy one. :(

GlovewithLove · Answer

I'll find the soul mate of my dreams and they don't feel the same..

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