What scares you the most about relationships?

[ElissaDido]

I'm scared of getting married to someone I love and end up being cheated on and getting divorced...

[super147]

Fear keeps you prisoner. You can let go of fear by acknowledging your strength and your ability to make choices even in the worst of circumstances. You can't always change your circumstances but you can change how your react to them, you can be in control of your own mind.

Once you stop fearing getting hurt you can let go of all the negative thought patterns that only serve to make relationships more difficult. Sure, you will get hurt sometimes. But have faith in yourself to be strong enough to get past it. Life goes on, the next day always comes around and with each new day the pain is further behind you. New opportunities always come along unless you hide yourself away from them. Pain is nothing to fear, it is part of life and it serves a purpose. You learn from it, it makes you stronger. I will never let fear of emotional pain dictate my life. Life is too short and there are too many wonderful experiences to have.

[RedThread]

It's the fact that eventually you will hear everything that the person has to say. There will be a point where the person's humor won't make you laugh like it used to. Everything will cease being fresh and you will have to rely on your commitment to each other or your dedication to your family. Your lives will get so busy that you won't have a lot of time for each other anymore. At that point you kind of forget what it was that you found so compelling about the person to begin with. Then you realize you have 35 years to live making small talk about your day.

Kind of a depressing though.

[RedThread]

thought*

[allison13]

Getting too emotionally attached. I'm very affectionate, and loyal to the people I've chosen to love. I'm worried about losing my long-term partner if he:
- cheats (might even give him up to 2 chances if he does)
- dies
- leaves me for another women
- leaves me for being too emotionally unstable and self-destructive (have a mood disorder and mild depression)
- checks out of the relationship (while technically still being in it)
and so on.

As a single person, I was very confident; if I get too emotionally attached with my current boyfriend (I never was with the last 2), I'm afraid if he leaves I won't be able to regain that single woman confidence I used to have after having him supporting me emotionally so often.

[Anonymous]

Im scared of just sticking with someone at some point, not because they're the love of my life, but because we'll both be twentysomething and scared of not finding anyone else if we break up.
I'd then have a very mediocre marriage, where the passion has died out within a year, but we get kids anyways since we have this idea of what a succesful family is supposed to look like, and we bicker and feel incomplete for 20 years and then get divorced because we really can't take the misery any longer.

That's the story of my parents. At 51, my dad has finally found the love of his life. Im so happy for him!
My mom is still dating a bit here and there.

[AliWolf]

Im scared of falling in love and then slowly have that guy go from loving me back to not giving a fuck anymore. I have been in many relationships where once the "honeymoon" period ends he loses interest because i actually want to have my own life and i don't want to be his shadow and pretend to like all the things he likes etc. I realise i have been just dating the same guys over and over. Next time, once i get over the latest disaster i might try dating a different kind of guy and we will see how that goes. But i am definitely afraid to be myself. I kind of feels like most guys want a little pet rather than an actual relationship with an actual woman

[xHoneyxBeex]

I don't think anything really "scares" me about relationships. Relationships involve a certain element of risk since we can't predict the future. In the past, I have been cheated on so that was a major concern of mine going into future relationships but I realize not all men are the same and I'm in a happy and healthy relationship now because I was able to get over that concern and allow myself to open up to someone new. Like I said, relationships often involve taking some risks but if it's the right person then it's worth it. :)

[Djaaaaay]

Opinion owner. Your definitely good relationship material. I agree also 👍

[xHoneyxBeex]

@Djaaaaay Thank you! :)

[Barrabus_the_Free]

The only things that 'scare' me are land mines and chemical or biological weapons. The thought of being crippled or poisoned/diseased are fuckin yuck.

I'm cautious about relationshits because of past experiences and things I've learned about women.

It sucks but that's the way it is. I've been burned too many times and I'm tired. Weary. I don't have it in me anymore to go through all the shit, since I know how it's going to end (badly). It's much preferable to just live my life however I want and not bother with women.

It's better to wake up and immediately start drinking or doing acid, and watch a show. Everclear and Ghost in the Shell, that's what I'm doing today.

And this is as good as it gets. Unfortunately. Fuck.

[Phoenix98]

Hmmm I try not to have any fears in regards to relationships, all fear does is keep you caged, I mean it's good to be cautious and everything and be weary about certain things just don't let that get out of control, fear can easily morph into paranoia and insecurity among other issues.

I just have to pray and trust in myself that I am making the right choice.

But for the sake of the question I guess that I'm not good enough for her or not as good as the guys that she's normally with or who like her.

[Tdieseler]

Very VERY valid question. Its not like it scares me but its more of a trend. You have seen the gender war out there. What scares me is that she won't understand who i am, won't see me as a guy until she wants a guy, which is what most females do. Females are too busy trying to change the males that they forget that these are males... we do us. How many times do guys tell girls that they don't care about make up, but the girls still put it on... its the same thing on the other side.
Its not really a fear/scare because i can boot her anytime, but its a concern, a valid one.
Many guys don't get girls and even more don't know how to be a man and stick up for themselves when females are involved. Im both... and it goes either or for girls... some girls like that im my own man, some hate it cuz they are manipulative narcissists...
My fear or concern is the lack of understanding/compromise.

[Venusss]

Cutting myself from the emotional ties I have built over the course of my life. Relive each day without the comfort of what should have been once mine.

Life is a theme park and you'd always want to ride the roller coaster of relationships. Every time you ride it, you learn something about yourself. So we should all love fearlessly.

[Anonymous]

My biggest fear is not having one as I've never been in a relationship. I've dated plenty and had hookups but no real relationship and while it may be better than nothing, they're only fun while they last. Despite the stud/slut double standard, quality is way more important than quantity. I'd rather have a few relationships where I care for the person than a bunch of flings and hookups that have no substance.

I mean I'm not desperate for a relationship. There's been people who wanted me that I wasn't feeling it and I'm not gonna settle just for the sake of being with someone. It's just a shame because the people I saw potential with, either used me as a rebound or disappeared after a date or few. Being someone's rebound that you feel truly compatible with can mess you up too. You wonder if you'll ever find someone where the interest is mutual, you click, and they're not hung up on an ex.

[YaBaba]

Mine is exterior problems that may come.
Problems aren't what I am worried, more like how I would deal with them,

So I think it's not being able to keep conscious of the thought life is a test from Creator, so make every problems as a way to get closer to your partner instead of building resentment

[SalmonBear]

My biggest fear is finally opening up to someone and they will cheat on me, betray me, leave me for someone else.
I am quite shy, so it is very hard for me to open up to people, I am scared when I do, my partner will leave me and replace me with a more typical woman.

[GinaEdwards]

That i will get hurt , used for money and sex , i never experienced a serious but my fear caused i me to reject anyone who is even a little interested in me because , i crushed on quite the view guys who were for sure fuckboys since i was younger , i am scared i to trust my heart to an other person , so scared i do not know how i truly belief that i am worthy of having someone love me for me...

[drummerdude25]

The "putting yourself out there" aspect of it... plus I feel like I'd always feel pressure to live up to a girl's expectations, like I'd be "under a microscope" and couldn't screw up.

I'm also afraid of settling for less than what I personally want.

[fauchelevent]

I think the thing that scares me most about being with my partner is just how much he means to me, how much you can care about another person. It's honestly terrifying. I love him so much, the idea of him one day deciding that this isn't what he wants for his life or one day we realise that this relationship isn't going to work out hurts a lot, I know that it'd destroy me. That's super scary.

[Mesonfielde]

The only scary part is sexual intimacy having a chance of impregnation ahead of time, before all external factors are met to support it.

Getting cheated on tends to have signs though so that'd either just be incompatibility, or whoever deliberately keeps the other party sexually frustrated.

[Youngm0ney]

Letting someone in and opening up and having everything be a lie, being told i love you and having it be a lie, being in love with the guy and having them not feel the same and of course cheating too. Just thinking you can trust the guy only to be fucked over

[Heythere2013]

Cheating is a big one for me. My biggest concern though is investing emotionally in a relationship that is one sided. I am up for doing the work, as long as the person truly cares for me. In the past I have been in a one sided relationship and I have had those kinds of friendships.

[SomeGuy37]

The inevitable: She changes you!! Some are much more discrete, and slow, and just little things, so you go along, then more, and more, and suddenly, you aren't 'YOU' anymore, and you wonder how it happened!!
Every guy I know that is married, has been 'Altered', and several have tried to change me, too, but I got loose, and stay a Free Agent, with my own thoughts, likes, and habits!!! It's like 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'!!!

[Afro-dite9]

The other person settling for me.
The other person's feeling's fades away for me.
... and this will be a repeated answer you see for everyone else. People are too scared to actually be with someone cause of dumb shhh. So they just play games with other's until it's too late and they regret a lot of shhh later in life. If I don't look a mf like they put the star's in the sky and vice versa... than I'm not wasting my time pursuing B. S. I'd rather be alone than unhappy.

[MaelaK]

Since I've been in an abusive relationship I'm scared they end up being abusive too. It's something I often worry about when I consider a future relationship.

I don't care very much about having to get separated or divorced though. That would surely break my heart but I am fine with the thought that someone's presence in your life is never guaranteed to last since everything changes.

[Balcazaurus]

Haven't had one yet, but I guess I'm a little worried about getting married with the first girl I've ever been with.

Sounds weird, but I guess I just wish I had started trying to date when I was younger to have more experience.

But if future me is happy with that, current me is just gonna have to accept that.

[TripleAce]

I think the more fearful aspect of any relationship is falling out of love. See when someone actually does something wrong, it's easy to attribute the failure of the relationship because of that. But falling out of love is a slow demise that leaves you clueless for a while

[Mrwoo99]

"The 50 per cent probability that everything that I own will be stolen by the Family Court and that I will end up homeless and starving on a park bench" by @cth96190

I'm just quoting the man of wisdom here. All women are prostitutes, the only difference is prostitutes ask for it directly whereas women like you get it indirectly or use another form of currency.

[ASEXY]

Nothing scares me about relationships because I will never be in one. But I do get a little concerned for the people who I care about while they're in relationships. I wonder if their partner might break their trust, cheat on them, commit domestic violence or something.