What scares you the most about relationships?

Question

I'm scared of getting married to someone I love and end up being cheated on and getting divorced...

super147 · Accepted Answer

Fear keeps you prisoner. You can let go of fear by acknowledging your strength and your ability to make choices even in the worst of circumstances. You can't always change your circumstances but you can change how your react to them, you can be in control of your own mind.

Once you stop fearing getting hurt you can let go of all the negative thought patterns that only serve to make relationships more difficult. Sure, you will get hurt sometimes. But have faith in yourself to be strong enough to get past it. Life goes on, the next day always comes around and with each new day the pain is further behind you. New opportunities always come along unless you hide yourself away from them. Pain is nothing to fear, it is part of life and it serves a purpose. You learn from it, it makes you stronger. I will never let fear of emotional pain dictate my life. Life is too short and there are too many wonderful experiences to have.

RedThread · Accepted Answer

It's the fact that eventually you will hear everything that the person has to say. There will be a point where the person's humor won't make you laugh like it used to. Everything will cease being fresh and you will have to rely on your commitment to each other or your dedication to your family. Your lives will get so busy that you won't have a lot of time for each other anymore. At that point you kind of forget what it was that you found so compelling about the person to begin with. Then you realize you have 35 years to live making small talk about your day.

Kind of a depressing though.

allison13 · Accepted Answer

Getting too emotionally attached. I'm very affectionate, and loyal to the people I've chosen to love. I'm worried about losing my long-term partner if he:
- cheats (might even give him up to 2 chances if he does)
- dies
- leaves me for another women
- leaves me for being too emotionally unstable and self-destructive (have a mood disorder and mild depression)
- checks out of the relationship (while technically still being in it)
and so on.

As a single person, I was very confident; if I get too emotionally attached with my current boyfriend (I never was with the last 2), I'm afraid if he leaves I won't be able to regain that single woman confidence I used to have after having him supporting me emotionally so often.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

Im scared of just sticking with someone at some point, not because they're the love of my life, but because we'll both be twentysomething and scared of not finding anyone else if we break up.
I'd then have a very mediocre marriage, where the passion has died out within a year, but we get kids anyways since we have this idea of what a succesful family is supposed to look like, and we bicker and feel incomplete for 20 years and then get divorced because we really can't take the misery any longer.

That's the story of my parents. At 51, my dad has finally found the love of his life. Im so happy for him!
My mom is still dating a bit here and there.

AliWolf · Accepted Answer

Im scared of falling in love and then slowly have that guy go from loving me back to not giving a fuck anymore. I have been in many relationships where once the "honeymoon" period ends he loses interest because i actually want to have my own life and i don't want to be his shadow and pretend to like all the things he likes etc. I realise i have been just dating the same guys over and over. Next time, once i get over the latest disaster i might try dating a different kind of guy and we will see how that goes. But i am definitely afraid to be myself. I kind of feels like most guys want a little pet rather than an actual relationship with an actual woman

xHoneyxBeex · Accepted Answer

I don't think anything really "scares" me about relationships. Relationships involve a certain element of risk since we can't predict the future. In the past, I have been cheated on so that was a major concern of mine going into future relationships but I realize not all men are the same and I'm in a happy and healthy relationship now because I was able to get over that concern and allow myself to open up to someone new. Like I said, relationships often involve taking some risks but if it's the right person then it's worth it. :)

Barrabus_the_Free · Answer

The only things that 'scare' me are land mines and chemical or biological weapons. The thought of being crippled or poisoned/diseased are fuckin yuck.

I'm cautious about relationshits because of past experiences and things I've learned about women.

It sucks but that's the way it is. I've been burned too many times and I'm tired. Weary. I don't have it in me anymore to go through all the shit, since I know how it's going to end (badly). It's much preferable to just live my life however I want and not bother with women.

It's better to wake up and immediately start drinking or doing acid, and watch a show. Everclear and Ghost in the Shell, that's what I'm doing today.

And this is as good as it gets. Unfortunately. Fuck.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Hmmm I try not to have any fears in regards to relationships, all fear does is keep you caged, I mean it's good to be cautious and everything and be weary about certain things just don't let that get out of control, fear can easily morph into paranoia and insecurity among other issues.

I just have to pray and trust in myself that I am making the right choice.

But for the sake of the question I guess that I'm not good enough for her or not as good as the guys that she's normally with or who like her.

Tdieseler · Answer

Very VERY valid question. Its not like it scares me but its more of a trend. You have seen the gender war out there. What scares me is that she won't understand who i am, won't see me as a guy until she wants a guy, which is what most females do. Females are too busy trying to change the males that they forget that these are males... we do us. How many times do guys tell girls that they don't care about make up, but the girls still put it on... its the same thing on the other side.
Its not really a fear/scare because i can boot her anytime, but its a concern, a valid one.
Many guys don't get girls and even more don't know how to be a man and stick up for themselves when females are involved. Im both... and it goes either or for girls... some girls like that im my own man, some hate it cuz they are manipulative narcissists...
My fear or concern is the lack of understanding/compromise.

Venusss · Answer

Cutting myself from the emotional ties I have built over the course of my life. Relive each day without the comfort of what should have been once mine.

Life is a theme park and you'd always want to ride the roller coaster of relationships. Every time you ride it, you learn something about yourself. So we should all love fearlessly.

Anonymous · Answer

My biggest fear is not having one as I've never been in a relationship. I've dated plenty and had hookups but no real relationship and while it may be better than nothing, they're only fun while they last. Despite the stud/slut double standard, quality is way more important than quantity. I'd rather have a few relationships where I care for the person than a bunch of flings and hookups that have no substance.

I mean I'm not desperate for a relationship. There's been people who wanted me that I wasn't feeling it and I'm not gonna settle just for the sake of being with someone. It's just a shame because the people I saw potential with, either used me as a rebound or disappeared after a date or few. Being someone's rebound that you feel truly compatible with can mess you up too. You wonder if you'll ever find someone where the interest is mutual, you click, and they're not hung up on an ex.

YaBaba · Answer

Mine is exterior problems that may come.
Problems aren't what I am worried, more like how I would deal with them,

So I think it's not being able to keep conscious of the thought life is a test from Creator, so make every problems as a way to get closer to your partner instead of building resentment

SalmonBear · Answer

My biggest fear is finally opening up to someone and they will cheat on me, betray me, leave me for someone else.
I am quite shy, so it is very hard for me to open up to people, I am scared when I do, my partner will leave me and replace me with a more typical woman.

GinaEdwards · Answer

That i will get hurt , used for money and sex , i never experienced a serious but my fear caused i me to reject anyone who is even a little interested in me because , i crushed on quite the view guys who were for sure fuckboys since i was younger , i am scared i to trust my heart to an other person , so scared i do not know how i truly belief that i am worthy of having someone love me for me...

drummerdude25 · Answer

The "putting yourself out there" aspect of it... plus I feel like I'd always feel pressure to live up to a girl's expectations, like I'd be "under a microscope" and couldn't screw up.

I'm also afraid of settling for less than what I personally want.

fauchelevent · Answer

I think the thing that scares me most about being with my partner is just how much he means to me, how much you can care about another person. It's honestly terrifying. I love him so much, the idea of him one day deciding that this isn't what he wants for his life or one day we realise that this relationship isn't going to work out hurts a lot, I know that it'd destroy me. That's super scary.

Mesonfielde · Answer

The only scary part is sexual intimacy having a chance of impregnation ahead of time, before all external factors are met to support it.

Getting cheated on tends to have signs though so that'd either just be incompatibility, or whoever deliberately keeps the other party sexually frustrated.

Youngm0ney · Answer

Letting someone in and opening up and having everything be a lie, being told i love you and having it be a lie, being in love with the guy and having them not feel the same and of course cheating too. Just thinking you can trust the guy only to be fucked over

Heythere2013 · Answer

Cheating is a big one for me. My biggest concern though is investing emotionally in a relationship that is one sided. I am up for doing the work, as long as the person truly cares for me. In the past I have been in a one sided relationship and I have had those kinds of friendships.

SomeGuy37 · Answer

The inevitable: She changes you!! Some are much more discrete, and slow, and just little things, so you go along, then more, and more, and suddenly, you aren't 'YOU' anymore, and you wonder how it happened!!
Every guy I know that is married, has been 'Altered', and several have tried to change me, too, but I got loose, and stay a Free Agent, with my own thoughts, likes, and habits!!! It's like 'Invasion of the Body Snatchers'!!!

Afro-dite9 · Answer

The other person settling for me.
The other person's feeling's fades away for me.
... and this will be a repeated answer you see for everyone else. People are too scared to actually be with someone cause of dumb shhh. So they just play games with other's until it's too late and they regret a lot of shhh later in life. If I don't look a mf like they put the star's in the sky and vice versa... than I'm not wasting my time pursuing B. S. I'd rather be alone than unhappy.

MaelaK · Answer

Since I've been in an abusive relationship I'm scared they end up being abusive too. It's something I often worry about when I consider a future relationship.

I don't care very much about having to get separated or divorced though. That would surely break my heart but I am fine with the thought that someone's presence in your life is never guaranteed to last since everything changes.

Balcazaurus · Answer

Haven't had one yet, but I guess I'm a little worried about getting married with the first girl I've ever been with.

Sounds weird, but I guess I just wish I had started trying to date when I was younger to have more experience.

But if future me is happy with that, current me is just gonna have to accept that.

TripleAce · Answer

I think the more fearful aspect of any relationship is falling out of love. See when someone actually does something wrong, it's easy to attribute the failure of the relationship because of that. But falling out of love is a slow demise that leaves you clueless for a while

Mrwoo99 · Answer

"The 50 per cent probability that everything that I own will be stolen by the Family Court and that I will end up homeless and starving on a park bench" by @cth96190

I'm just quoting the man of wisdom here. All women are prostitutes, the only difference is prostitutes ask for it directly whereas women like you get it indirectly or use another form of currency.

ASEXY · Answer

Nothing scares me about relationships because I will never be in one. But I do get a little concerned for the people who I care about while they're in relationships. I wonder if their partner might break their trust, cheat on them, commit domestic violence or something.

JSmuve · Answer

Divorce. Its difficult to build something together, then watch it dissolve right in front of your eyes. Its expensive, its messy, it fucks with you mentally and emotionally, and it can all be avoided by never marrying.

What scares me about relationships in general is committing to the wrong person. What happens if I get into a relationship with a girl and a year later a better match comes along? I'd feel like such an ass for breaking up so I can trade up.

Anonymous · Answer

Going in with that opinion, you're setting yourself up for failure. Ever heard of the "Power of Positive Thinking"? Basically it's if you think positive and be optimistic, positive things will come to you.

If that doesn't help you, here's the best marriage advice I was ever given. If there is any doubt in your mind, ANY at all. Don't marry her. In this case it's probably him but it applies to all relationships that could turn into marriage.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm afraid of accidentally getting pregnant like if the condom would leak etc. (because this does happen). I'd be terrified to be a mom at this age, or any time soon, and if I considered an abortion well that would be terrifying as well. I dunno, I overthink everything 😞

G-Daz · Answer

I'm scared of ending up with someone that I end up loving but provides no mental stimlation or stops being mentally stimulating. I can only cope with so much small talk before i want to kill myself

BeautifulPromisesx · Answer

I'm scared of having a bad marriage in general. Where he ends up changing on me for the worse and I see an ugly side of him whether thats abuse, cheating or neglect. I want a healthy happy satisfying marriage in every aspect.

flakosky · Answer

Falling in the same routine or circle of my previous relstionship.
Her getting bored of me/ loosing interest
And the biggest thing is her cheating on me emotionally or physically. With that "hes just my friend" person.

Relentless_Hippie · Answer

Nothing really, relationships aren't scary. I guess you could say being cheated on. But it's not a fear that'll keep me from pursuing something with someone I'm interested in. Some people use that as an excuse to be cold a distant, not me.

SongBird3 · Answer

The scariest thing is either your love will not last / fade. Or they tell you your not good enough (cheating, physical or mental) Or the though of being soo happy to ultimately lose them to some freak accident.

PrincessPanda · Answer

I mean it would suck if someone cheated. Am I worried that the person might be a cheater? No, I never think/focus on the possible negatives, in anything in life really. Positive outlook, if I believe I will achieve! Haha

writing_essays · Answer

A relationship where my feelings or sacrifices aren't reciprocated, a fear of getting cheated on or being abandoned and a guess a fear of child birth or of health problems associated with the pregnancy.

ThisDudeHere · Answer

The prospect of never getting in to one. That or her not being in love with me.

cth96190 · Answer

The 50 per cent probability that everything that I own will be stolen by the Family Court and that I will end up homeless and starving on a park bench.

MusicMayhem · Answer

Never being able to get one solely on the fact that I am a virgin at my age. I'm regularly told when dating I'm a fun guy with great attributes, but once they find out I haven't had sex before, none of that matters. I can't change my past.

GraveTruth · Answer

The thing that scared me is that the other person will all of a sudden just turn cold on their feelings (something WOMEN DO TOO MUCH> ROAR >GRRRR) haha

sundressgal · Answer

Getting cheated on mostly. I'd never ever forgive a cheater.  But also the emotional roller coaster relationships put you on is scary to me as well.

838383 · Answer

I think for me its the fear of picking the wrong guy and it all falls apart in divorce and u wished u had married a particular person that u didn't get to or someone else in general.

SinghSong · Answer

Never managing to have even the faintest, briefest taste of being in one, and dying as a sad, lonely virgin. Better to have loved and lost than to have never been loved at all. Far, FAR better.

CyberToothTiger · Answer

Getting rejected.. Here is my story i like to share with you
After giving my heart even 3 months of me knowing my first
ex girlfriend than hearing her tell me that she wanted break up
with me oh wow that day was horrible for sure.

PiuBravoRagazzo · Answer

Jesus Christ sweetheart, a guy would have to be an idiot to cheat on you. If you keep up with those debating skills he might lose his mind and divorce you though 😂😚😚😍

Pink934 · Answer

I suppose the same as you, or maybe even them losing interest and me feeling alone and trapped in a marriage with someone who is no longer able to cater to my emotional needs anymore.

pooper89 · Answer

The guy losing interest in me/no longer finding me attractive, cheating on me, finding out that we are incompatible after we've been married or had children

Zazzz · Answer

Don't be scared. Live life to the fullest. Don't look back and if the worst thing that can happen is that he cheats on you or lies or whatever there is always other options.

purplishone · Answer

I'm scared of losing the thrill and passion of marriage and this thing to turn into some kind of routine. And also scared of being abandoned.

Kaazsz · Answer

i dont know people are so scared. its part of life. you live, you learn, you move forward. it all makes you a smarter and stronger person.

ProbablyTooMature · Answer

If you fear them cheating on you then they're not someone you should marry. Those insecurities will just manifest themselves in your relationships and cause issues. Trust me on that. =\

Embercelica · Answer

I'm scared of breaking up and hating each other and a ruined friendship. I'm scared that I'm going to have so many regrets.

sovetskii13 · Answer

Always being under pressure in making things work out. Being perfect in every way 24/7.  I just can't handle that.

vishna · Answer

I'm afraid I'll never find fall completely in love with someone and that the best partner for me will be just out of reach forever.

Mommy2be14 · Answer

My biggest fear is always getting played. It's scary because I've seen some real nice, hardworking people who cheat. People you'd look at and never think they'd do it.

xxNDMxx · Answer

I'm scared of spending and wasting too much of my time on one person and end up losing myself and him.

FashionQueen86 · Answer

Trust being broken, or always wondering what he's doing, who he's thinking about, or who he has his eye on.

Dan2287 · Answer

I'm scared of marriage. It's a big decision and sometimes I feel like I'll just never be ready for it

Rahdle · Answer

"I don't love you anymore" 💥💙🔫😖 Other than that, I can't wait to love the right girl forever and always

Madds1544 · Answer

Cheating and if I were to marry it would b them changing from the person I used to date cuz I've seen that happen

falafelany1 · Answer

A lot of things... Being cheated on Falling out of love Jealousy How do you know if he is "the one"?

Bandit74 · Answer

-Having to open up and be vulnerable -Being cheated on -Having expections placed on me -Not loving them -Finding out stuff about them after the fact that makes me lose interest

Saoirse_Nua · Answer

I see your point but rather than expecting the worst, hope for the best - For me biggest fear would be having no relationship

Marellia · Answer

I'm afraid of pregnancy Being cheated Being divorced Losing my freedom Getting married

txdiie_ · Answer

Being cheated on because there are so many other attractive humans and can have like multiple combos like talented, nice body and caring

genericname85 · Answer

the moment where the image of the partner you had in your head shatteres and you get to know the actual person you´re dealing with xD can be quite shocking.

What scares you the most about relationships?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

What scares you the most about relationships?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.