Search Results: relationship questions and answers

Hello. I like this person's energy and I believe it's a mutual attraction, however, it seems like she isn't exactly ready for a relationship at this time. This idea is reinforced by her close friend who has told me that "she isn't ready, but doesn't want to lose you". There was recently a window of opportunity to ask her out according to her friend, but it was short and I guess her anxiety made her question it and back away.

After getting to know her more, it seems that she has a lot more baggage than I imagined. It doesn't really bother me, but I indirectly confessed to her when we were out with her friend one night, so she knows for sure that I am interested. And, if I am not mistaken, attraction peaks quickly and descends over time.

So, I already kind of confessed to her and continue to compliment her when necessary, but I don't want to risk being friend-zoned if I wait too long. But, theoretically, if I wait a while, she should be more "ready" emotionally because with time emotions (hopefully) heal. Also, I don't think I can play the waiting game either because I, too, will probably move on or grow bitter. Another worry is that her availability will attract other gentlemen who may ask her before me.

So, her heart is already closed which leaves me this challenge. I recognize that she has anxiety and stress, and I do not have all the answers but I don't know, I still want to try. My texting game isn't that strong either, but I try to cheer her on whenever I can.

Ladies, emotionally, do you think I have a chance? How could I support her and not friend-zone myself? I really don't know how your emotions work yet, and maybe I never will. But, can you please offer me some of your insight?

Gentlemen, have you tried or heard of similar stories and how have you/they overcome this challenge?

Thank you.

Met this girl (24) online who moved to my city 2 years ago for work and things moved fast. One 3 hour dinner at a restaurant & I got the impression that she was a complete "goody two shoes." We had so many values in common... so I thought :/
2nd date she invited me over and we slept together, which caught me off guard. She initiated everything, but I went with it b/c it felt special. I didn't finish and she said "I'm sorry I'm not very good at this" which got me thinking she had not been with many people.
2 wks later we were in a relationship & the only thing I knew about her past was her one and only 9 month relationship & some dating that didn't work out. A week later at 11:30pm she gets a missed call & text from a guy saying "Hey, I miss you." She explained it was a guy she dated earlier in the year. No big deal she didn't even reply.

A week ago and a text form her ex for a valid reason created another awkward situation, which led to me asking dangerous questions. How old she was when she lost her virginity & how many guys she had slept with? I didn't think I would get unsavory answers, but I did.

She lost her V at 20/21 (not a big deal), told me I was the 8th guy she had slept with & the last guy was 4/5 months before me. With her only being 24 & a 9 month relationship in there I did the math. From the time she broke up with her ex there was an 18 month period where she slept with 6 guys. Very unsavory info, but it gets worse... 2 of them were one night stands where she invited the guys over to her apmt the very first time, the other 4 she slept with after only 2-4 dates and one turned into a friends with benefits situation for 2 weeks :/

We have already BOTH fallen for each other hard and I'm devastated. She feels AWFUL, said she was lonely & admits the mistakes & how stupid she was. I feel like she was only after sex, had no respect for herself, didn't learn from the mistakes & am having a hard time seeing her as the same person I thought she was.