What do I want out of this relationship?

[OhhMickeyJ26]

"What do I want out of this relationship?" This is one of the many important questions I ask myself before I enter a mutual relationship with a man, whether it's one of convenience or it's serious. Why do I bother to ask this question every single time? It's simple, if I don't know what I want, then how the hell would I expect someone to give me what it is that I want/need, when I don't even know the answer. Lemme see, I want a relationship that my partner and I are willing to put in the time and effort to help each other grow. I want relationship where there is loyalty and trust, I want a relationship where there is a mutual understanding when its time to make decisions for us. I want a relationship where my partner and I can be friends and can be goofy. I want a relationship that's worth fighting for together.

I can go on and on about the things I want out of a relationship, but there's also the negatives to the question, "What don't I want out of a relationship?". I don't want a relationship where I still feel lonely, I don't want to have to worry about dishonesty and disloyalty. I don't want to have arguments while expressing my feelings. I don't want to be controlled, tamed, or kept. I don't want to get yelled at for simply having an opinion. I don't want to be ignored or not cared for. I don't want to be the only one who's in love.

by the way, I'm currently in a "committed relationship", one where there's more negatives theses days. Iv'e recently taken a step back (a break) from my SO and our relationship. I've expressed what it is that I want out of the relationship and just haven't gotten the actions that I want from the promised words spoken. So here I am wondering if this person and our relationship is worth fighting for. I find myself asking again, "What do I want out of this relationship?" and one of my most recent answers is, maybe its just time for me to let it go. I wonder, Have you ever found yourself in this situation, and If so, How did it turn out?

[ChiTown33]

So what you're saying is you want a relationship, but one with only the good parts, none of the bad ones.

[OhhMickeyJ26]

What I’m saying is, I want a relationship where the bad doesn’t outweigh the good.

[ChiTown33]

Fair nuff. But AT TIMES in a relationship the bad can SEEM to outweigh the good. Because we are imperfect people. Like for example you said " i don't want to be in a relationship and still feel lonely". Sometimes it's not that we're unwilling to give our partner what they want, rather we're just incapable. This is why communication is so important. Men and women aren't wired the same. It makes it so easy for misunderstandings.

[Justlooking15]

getting married, here is what I shoot for. Respect, communication, honesty and true love.
Actions are stronger than words. As a couple you both have to have skin in the game, lay out the rules and ask yourselves where do you think you will be in five years?
If either of you cannot share passwords, share same e-mail and social media etc that's a failure.
Either of you should care for each other because you love each other and want to do it for them not because you should do it.
Schedule your time evenly, share/list each others chores. I tell people all the time that I help my wife with different chores since her work load at home is bigger than mine. The more time we help each other to get stuff done around the house the more time we have together.
An amazing thing I see is when you see a stranger hold or open the door for another stranger and then let the door close on the people they are with... why do people do it, trying to be a nice person but take care of your own as well.
Another thing, usually the people that are the nicest at work are not so nice at home and vice versa. Not all but make sure you don't run into someone like that because people do not change.

Humans are creatures of habit and if for one moment you think either of you will change the other, that's not always the case.