Search Results: why is she shy

30f and I really can’t tell if I’m inevitably single because I don’t want a relationship or it’s a case of self sabotage. Within the past few years, the only attention I’ve gotten from attractive guys were on dating apps. But that should be taken with a grain of salt, I feel like compared to the average woman, I don’t get attention from quality guys in person. I’m pretty shy and tend to speak when spoken to, on top of bad anxiety, I’ll say I question if women can relate to my lack of sex drive. I haven’t had sex since my early twenties/don’t masturbate and couldn’t care less if I died a virgin, will feel some kind of way if I’ve never found love though.

It’s as if I want the reassurance I’m desirable (from what seems like decent men) vs actually going out on dates, I’m insecure but wouldn’t just go for anyone that gives me the time of day. I just don’t get why it can’t ever go my way w/ the OLD apps, it’s likely bad luck but a pattern of: ghosting, fizzling out, the convo not flowing to my expectations & I dip out, just lack of interest (can go both ways) etc. I’m attracted to men, I really don’t think id date a woman but something about men at the same time turns me off (physically & personality wise). Like almost every woman I've known has been boy crazy since they were pre-teens and I never got it, I thought they were exaggerating or I was a late bloomer. Well here I am 2 decades later, my closest thing to boy crazy were celebrity crushes.

Am I looking for excuses to justify being single? Is it simply a case of being unlucky? Is there more to unpack here? Or is the right guy all it takes for it to fall into place?

30F & I wonder if most women get where I’m coming from. I’ve never been in a real relationship, saw someone very briefly in my early twenties. Haven’t had sex either since then and don’t feel the need to, masturbating doesn’t do anything for me. Also doesn’t help that I’m not the friendliest, the only way I’ve met up with guys over the years were on dating apps. I get attention on them but it just feels off in a way, I’ve always felt like I am going to end up alone. I don’t want kids but like the idea of getting married, over the years people have justified my single status to being picky or shy etc. Those are excuses or cop outs, I feel like compared to the average woman though I likely get less attention from guys in person.

Literally the only attention I’ve gotten from guys I find attractive are on dating apps, in person maybe someone I was outside with would tell me that this guy looked at me etc (on and off throughout the years). But they never make it known to me directly, it makes me second guess things. It’s like I always wonder why I never have a boyfriend if I’m told I’m attractive, I also hear about a lot of introverted/socially awkward women that are in long term relationships. I really wonder if finding the right person is the answer to all my issues, I’ve spoken to guys in the past and tend to find ways to get out of it before I determine if they’re a good fit or not. Something about guys has always felt…different. Since I was in my teens, never got the craze with being boy crazy etc.