Search Results: emotional abuse in children

I am a 32 year old NON-RELIGIOUS black man man who is single, and who has been ignored like I don't even exist for most of my life. As a child, I was badly abused by my mother and her boyfriends (Physical, mental, and emotional), and bullied by my peers (then go home to the same thing, just 300x worse) and as a result, my self esteem is shot, never to be repaired.

Recently, not even a day ago, I came to the conclusion that my older brother has been making disparaging remarks about me, and as a result, his kids are calling me "homeless", "Stupid", and just outright disrespecting me. My co-workers recently found out I've never had a sexual relationship, by accident, and now all they do is laugh, point, and back away as if i'm some kind of leper. Or call me a loser.

I feel as if my entire family is just tolerating me until i go away, and they can get back to their lives. This is really painful, and hard to talk about.

I have desperately tried dating, but it is of no use, as I've been told that I look "pedophile creepy", or accused of stalking. The crushes i have had were always one sided, and i know of no one who felt the same about me. I have no experience with relationships or women, and at this point, I've become a hermit and have stopped trying at all.

All i do is go to work, and come home to loneliness. Waking up reminds me of the fact that everyone I know has a family or a significant other, and that i'm like a third wheel, stuck on the outside looking in.

For the past two weeks, I have been ruminating whether to commit suicide, as I constantly feel that i am not wanted here, that I have no purpose in this world. (I don't, I was just an accident). I am undergoing therapy, but i feel this isn't solving anything. It changes nothing. So In closing, I will say that I have never experienced love. My hopes and dreams are shattered, I feel out of place, and the only way is to end this suffering. All I understand, is that i'm not wanted in this world.

I notice that majority of women these days have baby daddy drama. No offence single moms! But I choose to keep away from women who have little ones. One time I was banging a woman I found at a bar. The sex was great until I saw she had her sons face tattooed on her back. I immediately got my stuff and left her house. Never called her after that.

Technically if your girlfriend has kids from another man... she's not all yours. She's already started life with another man. Also she's has to associate, interact with him no matter what. As we all know, women get emotional attached very strong to their kids fathers. That emotional attachment never goes away.

Plus I'm not gonna go through the hell of raising another mans child. Children of today have zero respect for their elders. I'm not gonna put myself in a situation where I have to take abuse from a child, and I can't even spank it. I've seen too many men get disrespected by their woman's kids. And there's nothing they can do about it!

I have the no kids rule, plus I myself am undesirable to date. I didn't finish college, and I make $23/hr. So it'll already be hard for me to find a partner in general. I'm just wondering... is it possible to find a decent woman with no 👶 ? Or should I accept being single forever?