My advisor is a beloved professor and authority figure at my University.
He is my professor for multiple classes, was my advisor but is not now (My real advisor was on sebattical), he is the second in charge of Human Resources for my school within the university, and is the head of undergraduate studies for my school within the university, not to mention countless other positions of power for the state.
He's always been fun. Drinks with students at parties based on my major, fun to talk to, always able to be blunt with him. well. I stayed over the summer to work for my department, and he has been sexually harassing me all summer. I don't know what to do. At first, it just started with a comment regarding my major, well, I hope size doesn't matter to you. (it fit in the conversation but was an obvious innuendo). This was followed by making comments about my clothing daily, saying that I looked like a woman, not a girl in my clothes and that I could show the people in my major that a woman was around any day, to offering me to drink with him in his office, to checking me out blatantly for minutes at a time, to violating my personal space, speaking with that greasy, come hither voice.
He comments on my eyes like, twice a week. Says that I'm a magnet for trouble and danger because of them. Says that they're seductive and alluring, and that he just gets lost in them, that I draw everyone and everything around me to me. he çan't stop looking at them.
So I made a comment about him not being my advisor anymore, so (jokingly) I don't have to worry about him limiting my enrollment in classes if I get annoying for talking to him occasionally, and he goes, you're forgetting something. I'm head of undergrad studies, which means, if you don't stay on my good side, I control your graduation. and then he has this thing he started recently, with tickling me. Now I've made mistakes, and I dated a married man who was my boss at home for 10 months before I left for college (don't ask, big mistake, awful decisions) case and point is that I know the flirtation signals and he's hitting all of them. He's started with the physical touch and I said NO. STOP. That's unprofessional! and he laughs and keeps doing it. so I say it louder! and then I left. I went into his office to ask him a question about our class tomorrow, and he went to tickle me and I go don't you dare I'll kick your ass. don't touch me! and he goes, why? and I go, I'll kick your ass! no! touching! me! and he goes, oh you think you could take me. wanna wrestle? lets wrestle right now. arm wrestle. and I go NOOO! No! I have no arm strength but I was a dancer and a skiier, I have strong legs, I could kick your ass now don't touch me. and he goes, I could just tie you up and do what I want with you then. and I'm like WTF.
He's beloved, great, and all, but what do I do, this is SOOO bad. I can't even go into my classes or work anymore!
Update: oh and once I had a similar case as a freshman in highschool, which he knows about, and I got that guy in trouble. He KNOWS that, so WHY does he DO THIS?
2 months ago
well we all know he's in the wrong, so the question is how to approach this.
don't do it alone: you don't want it to be his word against yours.
try not to be baited - for example the "I'll kick your ass" is probably not a good response; "I'll report you for sexual harassment" might be a bit clearer you're not "playing"
get support from parents & friends to start with, and then look for allies within the university: if this guy is being a creep with you chances are he's done it before & it maybe that the behaviour is already known (or suspected) within the school.
if your uni has a women's support group or student body has a women's officer, take your concerns there & get advice. they may know of other people who've been similarly affected & having more than one of your will help make the case (& help your own feelings)
you'll probably need witnesses & evidence. it will be hard work :(
finally - bear in mind even though he's in a powerful position, he's not the ultimate power in the school: there is the dean, vice-chancellor, head of human resources, board of trustees or governors & so on.
threaten to alert police and other such authorities. if he continues call and alert police. it sickens me when people use the power their positions give them to take advantage of other people. alert police and put this sicko out of his job and the hell away from our schools
Regardless of what positions he holds at the university, you should turn him in. You've flat out told him no, and he still continues on anyways. I'm not saying its what will happen, but I've heard of cases like this where the guy gets frustrated enough that they actually end up raping the woman. He may not be one of those type, but you should definitely try to be on the safe side of things, get some mace, tell the school officials. Even if he did stop without you reporting him, he'll probably just move on to another girl down the line, doing the same kind of shit.
like you said people make mistakes in the past that give us the experience that we need to deal with such scumbag like this what you call him a professor , before you do anything you need to have an evidence or a witness who support you're story , if you can have both it will support you're story and maybe he'll get what he deserve jail or fired or both , Honeslty you need to talk to someone who in charge of him even if you need to go to the Dean directly , because if you're not going to stand up for you're self you'll be abused and humiliated , it will effect you're life for ever , its up to you
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(Age:18 to 24)
When: 2 months ago
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