Search Results: boyfriend has been talking to other girls

I am meeting with my boyfriend of a year who said we were on a "break" a month ago and ghosted me. During that time he hungout with this girl that during our relationship I told him he cannot talk to or we are done. They have done sexual things before and she sent me an extremely disrespectful text (disrespecting me and my boyfriend) 6 months ago. He wants to talk tomorrow (likely about getting back together). I really need either him to confess to me he saw her or I need to bring it up and clarify that if we do get back together he needs to cut her off permanently and he will not be going on "breaks" to talk to her every now and then if thats why he did this. His response to those needs is the deciding factor that is gonna make or break his chance of getting back together with me. The problem is this is his first relationship and he has a strong "fighting = broken relationship" thinking. And unfortunately I cannot bring up this topic without being mad and fighting about it. I was thinking of typing everything I want to say on a paper a bringing it with me and then being like "I don't know how to talk about this without fighting and I don't want to fight so please read this" and hand it to him. Would this be a good idea or weird/too much drama? Any other ideas? I just feel like if I bring it up by talking about it that it will lead to a negative conversation/fighting and I won't say the right things on the spot.

For context, my brother has been dating his girlfriend, P, for two years. I absolutely adore P—she’s like the sister I never had. Long before they began dating, however, I met her brother, T. He and I are in the same grade, only about six months apart in age.

I first met T in seventh grade, when he was still a bit of a “geeky” guy. By the middle of eighth grade, I had my first boyfriend and met P for the first time around Thanksgiving. Back in seventh grade, I had a small crush on T, but it was nothing I ever considered acting on.

During freshman year, T and I had science together and started talking occasionally. I began to realize I still liked him. As our siblings grew closer, so did we. Whenever we passed each other in the hallways, we would exchange smiles—he has the cutest dimples when he smiles.

By the end of freshman year, I wanted to ask for his number, but I was too nervous. He was talking to someone at the time, and I didn’t want to overstep boundaries; if I were in that girl’s position, I wouldn’t want him giving out his number to other girls.

I hadn’t seen him for about three months until today, when we had back-to-school night. He was there with a friend, and he smiled at me like no time had passed. Later, he came over to my house because he, my brother, and P were going to the lake. When I saw him, my heart skipped several beats. I tried to keep my cool, distracting myself by making cookies and watching a show.

I don’t know if he’s dating or talking to anyone. If he’s not, I’m wondering if I should ask for his number and get to know him better. Before pursuing anything, I would make sure P was comfortable with it, because the last thing I’d want is to betray her trust or cross a boundary in our friendship.