She gave me her number but has a boyfriend—should I still text her?

[Anonymous]

There’s this new girl at my job who I’m kinda interested in. It all started after she randomly started talking to me on two different occasions. I didn’t think too much of it until every time I had to go by her area, she would always look at me and smile saying “Hey.” There would be times I look back and catch her looking back at me smiling.

She’s very shy and keeps to herself. But whenever I would make small talk with her, she just “lit” up and started rambling about anything on her mind in lengths. Things she would tell me that she definitely observes me and watches what I always do.

I didn’t ever catch her name until earlier this week. Funny enough, she already “knew my name” but wasn’t completely sure. I never once told her my name before nor wore any ID, so that caught me off guard in the moment.

I helped her a few times with certain situations and we started to get to know each other a bit more. With my job, it’s hard to talk for long since it’s extremely fast-paced. I decided to ask for her number and said we can talk more because I’m interested in getting to know her.

She said “Sorry I have a boyfriend…”

I had a knee jerk reaction and clarified that “it’s not like that.”

She laughed and gave me her number then told me to save her under her nickname. That was on Tuesday. I have yet to text her because I’m debating if it’s still worth it or not.

[Texaskid1]

But it is like that.

You are attracted to her and want to be with her. You have several options:

1) Realize that her giving you her number while she has a boyfriend means that she wants to keep you on the backburner. You will become what is called an "orbiter" (look it up.) She will give you some bread crumbs of attention to give you hope and feed her ego while she goes home after work and blows her boyfriend and then proceeds to get torn apart by the guy ( and not you) in the sack while you are left pinning for her.

2) Delete her number from your phone, walk away with dignity from this cluster fuck to be and proceed to treat her like a coworker - because that's what she is. Be professional , be polite , and nothing more with her. It is always best to date off the clock with women you do not work with. Never get your honey where you get your money.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I'm not sure about the nature of your interest, because while you told her "it's not like that", you told us you're "kind of interested".

If you're heading towards friendship then I don't see why you're bringing up the question here since there's no problem.

So, are you aiming at entertaining a romantic connection knowing that you told her the opposite?

[Anonymous]

What is the big deal if it's "not like that?" And if it's "not like that," then why do you say your kinda interested in her? And why is it in the Flirting category if it's "not like that?"

Once I say I have a boyfriend, whether I do or not, that's the end of it. I don't want a hookup or a friendship. I certainly don't want the guy calling or texting me.

And what's with all the "quotes?" "Lit?" "Knew my name?" Quotes are for quoting what someone said, word for word, not for attempting to draw us to your conclusion.

[CriminallyInsane]

"I'm kinda interested"
"It's not like that"

It is like that. Don't text her.

[Staximus]

First of all, you’re a liar. You said “it’s not like that” but it is, or you wouldn’t have asked for her phone number. If you tell her to text her and she’s with her boyfriend, you or her are going to have some problems in your lives. Leave girls with boyfriends alone unless you feel like getting your ass kicked and making problems for yourself and them.

[Asker]

I said I had a knee-jerk reaction when I said that. It just slipped out and I wasn’t really thinking.

[Staximus]

B I meant to say “If you call or text her and she’s with her boyfriend" not “If you tell her to text her and she’s with her boyfriend"

[David318578]

You asked for her number and she said no "I have a boyfriend"

Then you said "not like that" even though that was a lie, then she gave you her number.

So what are you trying to accomplish here? She doesn't want you, she has categorized you in the friend zone.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

It's either going to be a nothingburger or you're about to set a situation in motion that will take weeks or longer to find it's end.

So far as morality goes, she's cheating on that guy, not you.

[Hunter-40m]

Clearly her boyfriend doesn't show enough interest and she is trying to fill this missing part with chatting with you telling the things you May think unnecessary maybe thats why she might give her number

[Nikki1989]

Sure, why not?

Only real wussies can't be friends with the opposite gender.

[Cw992]

Sometimes people are in the wrong relationship and meet people they'd rather be with. If you really like her and there's chemistry there go for it. It's not like they're married and she clearly isn't loved up

Sliding doors.

[FunkyMonkee]

Why would she not be allowed to have friends just because she's got a steady.

[LiamJHayden]

As long as you recognize that she is off-limits romantically.

[In_Trance]

If your girlfriend was texting another guy.. is that ok?

[Anonymous]

If you’re interested in more than friendship, which it seems you are, then no don’t.

[MissSunshine2]

All’s fair in love and war. Give it a go.

[RavVid]

I think stay away. It's dodgy.

[Ariesman81Nshiiit]

What's any of that got to do with you

[blackeagle007]

Love triangles are never good

[dudeinohio]

Do not