Search Results: hand jerk

Sorry if this is confusing, but I (24f) and my guy friend, let’s call him Jake (23m) have been friends a few years, and our relationship has always been complicated. He can be a real jerk to our friend group (he tends to blame this on being autistic), but he’s always let his wall down around me. I first thought he liked me when he started going out of his way for me; like offering to pick me up from work since I don’t drive, or going to workout classes with me, for example. And then again, when we were watching one of our shows, and I curled up under a blanket on the opposite side of the couch and he asked to share, and put his arm around me. Although, he moved after 5 mins.

But what has me believing this is what happened at our group friendsgiving on Friday. First of all, during dinner he tried to take my drink, and then I told him to ask me for a sip, which he did. Then we were discussing his dating life as a group, and then he said something like “I wouldn’t sleep with (insert my name), but I wouldn’t mind second base” and winked at me. Then, we were all talking on the couch, and I was tired, so I told him to move so I could elevate my feet. He told me to just put them on him, then he proceeded to wrestle me off him. He also took my drink out of my hand to drink from it, and then, while I was talking, hugged me.

Later, all the friends were on my balcony, and when we started to go inside I noticed Jake hanging back, so I asked if he was okay, and he said he held himself to too high of a standard, and he said he felt bad pushing me away because he liked talking to me and that it was easy to talk to me. There was a weird tension between us, and I mentioned I hadn’t seen him in a while so I missed him. He said something snarky, but then admitted to missing me too.

All of our friends thought there was something up. He’s also going to a football game with me alone that he originally declined because no one else could go. I feel like he likes me, but I don’t know.

1. We’re not talking about someone who is uninterested bc a lot of people just don’t have the guts to directly say NO. It sucks, but Fair enough.

2. There are indeed a lot of people who get off on mutually playing mind games with each other so we’re not discussing them either.

We’re discussing scenario # 3. Two people LIKE each other but one is being direct and the other refuses. Won’t or can’t, I don't know.

I think with most people without being a genius or even particularly clever, you can very easily infer that when a person is being open & honest & direct, they don’t want to play games & doing so will most likely turn them off towards the other person…

SO I have difficulty understanding in this instance, what the ‘other person’ finds advantageous about being secretive, and why they may insist on it. 🤷🏻‍♀️

I see it _alot_ in other pol as well I’ve experienced it first hand. I’ve never found any explanations after the fact - when they were offered- to really make sense, and they seemed more of an attempt at damage control than “ coming clean”

so I’m wondering if there’s some kind of unconscious work at play..

Assuming they are not jerks, Perhaps these people are simply not good at acting deliberately so even little things seem burdensome and they are reluctant to respond even if doing so could be beneficial, I don't know?