My ex is cheating on his new girlfriend with me. what do I do?

[Anonymous]

i dated this guy for 2.5 years. we broke up but have never really gotten over each other. we both have dated other people. I moved away away for a year, now I am back, and he has a new girlfriend. the thing is tho. ever since I have been back. we have been secretly hanging out and hooking up. its starting to get more frequent and way more serious. he's TELLING me that heloves me wants to marry me lallaa. and that he just kindof fell into that relationhsip and doesn't really know how to get out. but I'm getting so angry and jelous and hate being the other woman! I just feel like this is especially complicated because of our history and because we have always had this unburied whatever. anyways, for some stupid reason theother day I decided to email his girlfriend and tell her we needed to talk. she knwos its about me and him but doesn't REALLY know what's going on because he's been lying to her. am I being tottaly stupid sticking around for this? its just like I can't get him out of my system. he is the same way yet why is he staying with his girlfriend and not coming after me now that I am available? more importantly what the heck am I supposed to say to her? if anything? I don't want to tottally ruin things between me and him forever by calling him out, but something has gotta give! helpppp

[Simple-Simonette]

Wow, what a mess. It's funny because I know just what you are going through. I had a boyfriend, but he went through 4 other women with me as his mistress before he settled down with me. Of course our circumstances were different than yours, but you'll get no judgements from me.

You need to free yourself from this whole mess. Let him go, his girlfriend go - and move on to better things. You know know he is capable of cheating and lying. You know that he's not man enough to go with his heart for whatever reason. He sounds weak and all he is doing is hurting you. Do you think you will ever trust him if he was with you? We all make mistakes, and the smartest thing to do is learn from them.

As for telling his girlfriend about you guys - why is that your responsibility? He's the one who is in the wrong more than you, he betrayed his girlfriend. I understand that you are doing this to force his hand, but it will only lead to a bigger mess. Cut your losses now and walk away. The sooner you end it the sooner you can begin to heal.

Good luck.