Why has he kept her number?

[Anonymous]

Sorry I posted to wrong sub before -
I caught my husband sending inappropriate texts to another woman. they indicated that they were having a physical affair but I have no proof of that but at the least it was a highly emotional affair (which I think is worse). This was all about a month ago. I checked his phone yesterday (he doesn’t know) and he kept her number! If it was ‘over’ like he says it is, why has he kept that link to her? Even IF they aren’t speaking right now has he kept it to co tinue speaking with her? I feel like she’s still in his life because he kept her number!

[RemoErdosain]

To be honest, once that happens, all trust is gone, in my opinion. If he could do it once, he'll do it again. If he could send inappropriate texts, he could also cheat: That's a given. And, of course, if he keeps her number, that's just one more reason to think he's full of shit. You can still delete the number but keep in touch if you're a smart motherfucker, though, so even deleting it wouldn't prove anything, in my opinion.
I think you should divorce him if you don't want him to have an affair, or just start taking this like an open relationship and seeing other men yourself: Those are the only two happy options I see in such a situation

[Asker]

So would you say he’s kept it to keep in touch with her?

[RemoErdosain]

That seems obvious

[AshleyTaylorDanny]

Yes he is probably keeping it as his backup... or he is still contacting her and keeping it secret. You may not see text on his phone but there are texting apps he could use that would allow him to text her.
Why not text the other woman yourself and have a talk with her?

[Asker]

I don’t think I’m ready to do that yet I’m just trying to process one thing at a time if that makes sense, but yes that’s a good idea.
Even if (and I know it’s a big if) he isn’t contacting her right now, would you say he’s kept it to do so in the future?

[AshleyTaylorDanny]

Yes he will call her again... he is just on the down low right now

[Asker]

Thanks, I agree. There’s no reason to of kept it otherwise right? Also if he was committed to me surely that number would have been the first thing to go