Girls, do you let your guy go clubbing?

[Anonymous]

not boyfriend yet but been dating for 2 months now and he wants to go

clubbing with his buddies

i mean.. I don't want him to ..but asking him not too go is too early..right?

and what if he is my bf? is it OK for your boyfriend to go clubbing?

[traceyjill]

Well, I don't know what you should do specifically, but this is what I think:

If he asks me if I'm OK with it, I will say YES.

Will I like it on the inside? HELL no. I know full well clubs are all sorts of trouble (booze+women+his single friends edging him on).

Will him dancing with a couple of girls and having some drinks kill me? Highly doubtful. I'm not interested in chaining him to me or sucking the fun and the life out of him. Sometimes we all have to do our thing, even if our instinct is to monopolize our significant other.

BUT, if I hear so much as a peep that he was unfaithful, I'm so gone in that instant, no second chances, no apologies accepted, nada. Zero tolerance for that sort of bullsh*t. If he wants to go screw around, he should do it on his own time, there's no need to keep tied down if that's what he REALLY wants. I could be out having my own good time.

Make it clear to him that you're totally cool with him being able to have his own time with his friends and that you have no reason not trust him (hint: dude, don't give me one). However, also find a way to make it clear that if he breaks the trust, you're gone like you were never there. If he makes the "wrong" choice, he did it fully informed (friends or not, he's got a brain, end of story) and you can leave him without regret or lingering questions.

Now I'm not sure if that's all too much at two months or not, it all depends on how close you are and the nature of your relationship. There is no rule book about what your boyfriend "can and cannot do" - it all depends on how you and he feel.

He should know that he can't have you as his girlfriend AND get random play on the side too.

[Kitkatia]

Omg I have the same question. My boyfriend and I have been going out for 4 months now but he was my best friend before that. I trust him like no one else. But he recently told me that his friends want to go out with him and that really upset me. We usually do everything together and it feels HEALTHY. Dont get me wrong, I enjoy spending some time alone or with my family but most of the time I want him with me. I told him how I feel about him going out without me and he questioned the fact that I don't trust him maybe. The fact is that I DO freaking tryst him but all of his friends are either single and desperate or in a not so serious relationship. Even though my boyfriend does not agree with the choices they make I still don't feel comfortable with them hanging out without me. And apart from that the most important issue that bothers me is that someone else might be looking at him and I won't be there to show he's mine. I know this might sound too obsessive but I don't want to lose him and the thought of someone else hitting on him just brings cheels down my spine...

[JanJan]

You can't control your boyfriend. Let's clarify that right now. He is a grown man, and you are neither his mother nor his parole officer.

But you do have the right to tell him if something he does bothers you. But make sure that you tell him WHY, and be prepared for him to put up a fight. Try not to give him ultimatums like this. You trust him, don't you? Then what's there to worry about? People like to go out with their friends and have a good time, and your boyfriend is one of them. Just because he and his buds go to a club does not mean that they are going to do drugs, get irresponsible, hook up with girls or break the law. Clubs are just places for adults to go and have a good time. Trust him to have some good judgement. If he hasn't given you reason to doubt him, then give him the benefit of the doubt. Trust is key for any relationship.

[rossem]

Anon,

I don't think it's a question whether you trust HIM at the club, but his FRIENDS. All guys (generally) do not act on their own to do anything unfaithful. 99.9% of the time they are persuaded by the "C'mon don't be gay bro"'s by their friends. So they do body shots off the slutty chick on the bar or play grab-ass on the dance floor. Let him go to make him happy, but let him know how you feel. Call once or twice to keep tabs on your man.

Good Luck!

[Anonymous]

No offence, but this is one of the reasons why I have left every one of my relationships as someone asked a few ? ago. If you don't trust him, you shouldn't be with him. No one needs that hassle or have to worry if they can do this or not do that unless your still under age & living with mommy & daddy or on Parole

[dreamtime]

After this first sentence... this is exactly it.

[Opinion Owner]

Yea, I should have wrote a lot because sometimes that was only part of it. I just hate it when your out with your buds & it's always in the back of your mind what you have to deal with when you get home. No sh*t, I've actually had women try to smell me to see if they can tell if I've been close to another girl.

[Chelseax3]

i think that's your choice, and it depends on how comfortable you feel with him going. if you trust him then why not? its with the guys. if it was me, I would let him go but keep tabs somehow on what he's doing and if he's behaving. like have someone else who goes to the clubs look for him. trust him until he gives you a reason not to and ask yourself how you would feel if the girls wanted you to go out with them and he was like I really don't want you to go. youd probably be pissed and feel like he didn't trust you.

[vmw2008]

I'm OK with my boyfriend clubbing, and he's OK with me clubbing as well. We typically prefer to go together, but we have our girls/guys nights out too.

[tinydiva1991]

Do you dance with other guys when you go alone?

[asleighhh]

if you trust him it should be fine