How do you know a marriage is over?

[Anonymous]

I'm very unhappy in my marriage, my husband blames me for everything wrong in our lives even for him not completing school because i didn't have his back according to him. We had just had a baby and i was overwhelmed and went through post postpartum depression, the fights got really bad. he quit school never went back. He resents me and talks negatively about me with other people. Not just about that situation but about everything he talks so negatively about me that his friends are surprised that i'm so different when i'm around them. I asked him for 80 dollars the other day to do my hair and he told me to make sure i pay him back, that really hurt my feelings because i never do that to him. We got into it because of that, he threatened to leave. He does things like gets me excited for grilling to then get upset when i don't want to buy a 20.00 dollar steak and we end up leaving empty handed. We have done counseling and stopped, because it got too expensive. I question him a lot and that gets him upset, i just want to be an equal but he tells me i need to play my role as a woman even though i'm the bread winner. - maybe that's my issue the fact that i need to point that out... I can't have an opinion or a comment without him going on defense - maybe i have caused this... He won't leave, but threatens to leave and leaves me heart broken every-time. I'm on antidepressants now, but i still can't seem to act right or stop pissing him off, he says he wants to hang out with me but when we do it's always a fight.

[Anonymous]

It would be interesting to hear his side of this. Why do you question him so much? I had a girlfriend who did that and it was hard on me and our relationship.

But having said that, it sounds like he's being an asshole. Is he capable of not being one? I don't know.

[Asker]

why did that make it hard on you?
i'm all for self growth if i'm wrong i'm wrong

[Opinion Owner]

Do you really not know why it would be hard on a man if his wife was constantly questioning him and demonstrating she doesn't have confidence in him? It shows you don't respect him.

[Stevefiveo]

Well, you've tried counseling and he is still miserable with you and he makes you so depressed that you have to take antidepressants. He is the reason that you have to take antidepressants so I would end it. So get rid of him and find someone that makes you happy. You are the breadwinner so you don't need him for money so you will be ok after the divorce. Good luck.

[AugustReliable]

do you have any religion?

[Asker]

no I do not, why do you ask?

[AugustReliable]

I think having a faith would help you both

[Asker]

how do you go about that?

[AugustReliable]

for example, say a Rosary and see if things don't get better

[AugustReliable]

*pray

[Asker]

okay i will try i would do it by myself

[AugustReliable]

if it works, then look for a priest to guide you better