First time being cheated on, any advice?

[Anonymous]

After 4 years together we had this awful moth with too many fights. Last week we broke up, she told me there is someone else. I'm debastated, hardly can think of any thing different than her. Don't want her back, but I'm sad all the time and wish I could understand wtf happend

[dynamicyandere]

I’m sorry to hear about that. That has happened to me once with a girl I was with for 2.5 years. I really put my heart and soul into that relationship. But, being her first boyfriend, she took me for granted and left me for a guy who then dumped her after 2 months. She came running back to me and I tried to give her a second chance but the damage was done. We didn’t work out and ended up parting ways.


It’s normal to have a grieving period. Let it all out of your system—process your emotions. It’s okay cry, scream, write out your feelings, confide in someone. It’s a very painful thing to go through. Find a healthy non-destructive way to release all of that pent up emotion and anger and hurt and sadness.


Then, accept what has been done. Accept that the relationship has ended. And don’t allow yourself to take her back if she changes her mind. It’s one thing to break up and get back together over something else. It’s another thing to be cheated on and get back together. The relationship is over and done and that’s a hard pill to swallow but you need to accept it and learn to be at peace with it. Accept what has happened and accept what cannot be changed.


Then, let her go. Throw away or put away anything that may remind you of her and let her go. Don’t hold onto to anything. Let it all go.


Then, focus on yourself. Self-care. Treat yourself. Heal yourself. Improve yourself. Focus on bettering yourself and learn how to be happy again as a single guy. Get your groove back. Get your mojo back. Learn to love life again. Find a way to thrive as a single guy and focus on everything you can be grateful for.

[Asker]

Thanks for this answer.

[dynamicyandere]

You’re very welcome. You’ll rise out of this. It’s just a matter of time. You got this.

[melnc]

Sorry for what happened.