Is it ever appropriate for a women to say this?

[Anonymous]

If she found out her ex was a in a deep depression and was missing work and she says to him I hope it’s not over our breakup because if it is that’s really pathetic

Updates

+1 y

Yeah I was shocked when she said this

[Oliverlogan263]

Hmm, I wouldn't recommend saying that to an ex. Even if he hurt you, adding insult to injury won't make you feel better either. A few thoughts on why that message could backfire:

- Calling his feelings "pathetic" is needlessly cruel. Depression isn't something he can just snap out of, and dismissing how he's coping won't help.

- It places blame and makes the breakup solely about you/your ego. Breakups are usually complicated with both people at fault.

- Saying you "hope" it's not about the breakup implies a lack of care/empathy if it is related to your history together.

- Lashing out breeds more negativity. It's best to take the high road and wish him well on his mental health journey instead of criticizing.

If you still have unresolved feelings, the most constructive path is focusing on your own healing. Maybe write a letter expressing how you feel but don’t send it. Speaking harshly to an ex rarely makes either party feel closure. With time and space, emotions dull. But adding insult will just prolong resentment.

[Asker]

Well she had said this is accepting in society

[Oliverlogan263]

It’s not bruh. She’s messed up in the head seriously if she think that is cool. Ay look man, I get she was saying what's usually accepted and all. But for real tho, calling someone's depression "pathetic" just seems wack no matter what.

I mean, depression is a serious thing. It ain't no joke. Even if people make jokes about it sometimes, going through that is real tough.

Yeah society might say stuff like that is cool. But between us, dissing someone's mental health like that where they could hear just seems disrespectful, ya know?

Like maybe she was tryna say "hope it ain't about our breakup" or whatever. But she didn't have to put the dude down to say it. There's nicer ways to say things.

I'm not tryna act all pious or nothin. But depression is nothing to play with. Calling someone's feelings "pathetic" if they struggling with that just seems cruel ya feel me?

Even if others think it's chill, that was crossing a line in my opinion. Sometimes you gotta do what's right, not just what's accepted. She could've shown some compassion instead of insulting him like that.

Just my two cents bruh. In the end she gon say what she wanna. But between us men, I wouldn't say something like that about another man suffering like that, social acceptance or not.

[Asker]

Sorry it was a typo she said this isn’t accepted in society

[worldscolide]

A woman like that is not worthy of respect. she's a narcissistic monster..

[Asker]

Seems like she’s trying whatever she can to hurt me even after the relationship because she was abusive in it

[Bethany22]

She sounds narcissistic. Someone should burst her bubble that men rarely get depressed because of relationships. They usually get depressed for more important reasons like work or politics.

[Asker]

Yeah it was work related as well as school related, auto issues

[bededazzle]

no i would say that is never appropriate