How soon is too soon to move on after a breakup?

[Anonymous]

I just started seeing this girl last week. We’ve been on 2 dates and on the second date, she revealed that she broke up with her ex about a month ago. They dated for about a year. She complained about him a lot. She’s beautiful and I enjoy spending time with her when she’s not talking about her ex. But I just don’t think she’s emotionally ready to date again.

The shortest amount of time I’ve waited between a break up and the first date with someone new is 2 and a half months.

Should I wait it out with her and tell her to not talk about her ex so much?

[Oliverlogan263]

That's kind of a tough one man. On one hand, a month isn't that long after a year-long relationship, so she's probably still getting over her ex to some extent. But girls also move on emotionally faster than guys sometimes.

If she's still complaining about her ex a lot on dates with you though, that's probably not a great sign that she's really ready to start something new yet. Personally, I wouldn't want to get involved if the previousrelationship was still that fresh. Getting hung up on an ex usually doesn't lead anywhere good.

My advice would be to see how it goes on the next date - tell her you don't want to just hear about her old dude the whole time since you're trying to get to know her. See if she can give you more of her attention without relating everything back to him. If she's still stuck in the past after that, I'd say it's probably too soon for her and you should peace out for now.

Otherwise you could give it another shot if she shows she's moved on from dwelling on the breakup so much. But I'd be wary of getting real serious with a girl who just got out of a long relationship in just a month. She might still need more time to sort her feelings out fully before starting something new. Just my two cents - follow your gut on this one!

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

You're reasoning in terms of absolute numbers, aka time measurement, I understand you're doing it because you want objective data to evaluate the situation but objective data does not exist it's not how people works, people are subjective. Closing a life's chapter does take time but the amount of it is undefined because it is subjective, entirely contextual to the person.

When you get past this, when you do accept that there is no valid data to consider here. Then trust your gut feelings AND your reason, this is already what you're doing, waiting or not solely depends on how you will balance the situation in your mind. About asking her to stop venting, let's put it the other way, don't tell her what to do BUT you can tell her how YOU feel about what she is telling you. That would be much more welcomed this way.

[DizzyDesii]

Even when I’m over the ex, I’m never truly over the situation and how I was treated. The same goes for how family and friends have treated me. So i may vent about the ex and others but I don’t want to be back around any of them. So i move on “romantically, physically and emotionally” quite easy. Maybe not mentally cause sometimes is traumatic but yea. So i usually move on after 1-2 weeks. It doesn't matter how much I loved them nor if we were together for months or years. After you’ve proven to be a waste of my time, I’m ready to permanently replace you. Thats why I never understood people assuming you’re a rebound if you are chosen by someone who just broke up. I likely was over the person and moved on emotionally before I even broke up with them. So I’m definitely ready to move forward physically and romantically 🤷‍♀️

[natured]

As long as you don't move on just to forget her, then you're fine... sometimes we moved on way before breaking up so

[AviatorTom]

There is no limit. Could be immediately, or months later. Whatever you think is right for you.

The key thing is not to go back. Once you've decoded the relationship is over, move on.

There's a good reason why your past partner is called an EX.

[EmotionOfFear]

If someone is still talking about their ex when they dated their ex for like a month, okay yeah, they're being a little unreasonable. But a year or more? There's so much history and intimacy there, and forget it if they lived together. Some people still haven't gotten over their first love when it's been years since they last spoke.

You should tell her how you're feeling (tactfully and without being harsh), and maybe she'll agree with you and want to slow things down and just be friends because she's truly not over her ex, or she'll make an effort to stop talking about him because she's with you now and respects your feelings. Clear, open communication is what's best for relationships.

[exitseven]

Less than a month. I broke up with my girlfriend and it was maybe 2 weeks before I met somebody new. After we out a couple of times she told me it was apparent that I still missed my old girlfriend. I had to admit that maybe I was not ready for a new relationship.

[Anonymous]

Yeah just went through a breakup exactly a month ago and definitely not ready to get back out there. I would be talking about my ex the whole time.

I think a few months for most people before they should start dating again.

[red324]

Best way to move on is to attach yourself to someone else.

[Nikki1989]

No such thing. You move on when it feels right. I have moved on in the same day as a break-up.

[SugarSugarplum]

1 minute. Once you're broken up, you're free.

[PatKirby]

This has the smell of rebound all over it.

Date when you feel you're good and ready, it's different for everyone. No time limit necessary.

[Anonymous]

Seeing as they only dated a year and she waited a month to start dating again. I’d say I think you’re fine. If it was several years then id be concerned.

[Nirmroth]

If she talks about her ex, she's not ready yet and has not proberly worked trough it

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't tell her not to talk about her ex so much. I would take a step back and be there for her as a friend because she obviously isn't ready for another relationship.

[LiamJHayden]

Some might need time to recover emotionally. Others are ready to go immediately.

[Crazzyyworld]

sex and money is all we need. so right away. no drama!

[In_Trance]

There's no such thing because everyone recovers differently

[Anonymous]

Did you hook up on either date? If you're making progress there, I'd say keep at it.

[Tashaaaaa]

Whenever you want as long as the new person is being respected

[Inthelines]

You can't continue after breaking up, kid.

[Walksbehindtherows]

Finding a new woman