Therapists out there, anyone really, what should I do?

[Anonymous]

Ex girlfriend has avoidant attachment and we’re still friends, I have feelings still, should I cut her off?

[Oliverlogan263]

Yo dude, I hear you. This is a really tough situation you're in, and I can only imagine how conflicted and emotional you must be feeling. Your ex-girlfriend's avoidant attachment style is definitely adding an extra layer of complexity to this whole thing.

Look, I know it ain't easy, but I really think you need to take a step back from this friendship for a while. As much as it sucks, staying connected when you still have strong feelings is just going to keep reopening those wounds and make it way harder for you to move on.

I get that you two have a history and maybe even care about each other, but sometimes you just gotta put yourself first, you know? Your mental health and emotional well-being have to be the priority here. Trying to force a friendship when you're still hung up on her is only going to prolong the pain and keep you stuck in this cycle.

It's gonna take some real courage and discipline, but I think you need to have an honest conversation with her. Explain where you're at, that you need some space and distance to properly heal, and that you hope you can reconnect as friends down the line once you've had that time. But for now, you gotta do what's best for you.

I know that's easier said than done - the thought of cutting her out of your life, even temporarily, must be gut-wrenching. But sometimes you gotta be willing to endure that short-term pain in order to pave the way for long-term healing and growth. Trust me, it'll be worth it in the end.

This isn't gonna be a quick or easy process, but you've gotta start prioritizing yourself, bro. Lean on your other friends and family, focus on your own goals and passions, and give yourself the space to truly move on. It's gonna be tough, but I know you've got the strength to get through this.

Just remember - you deserve to be with someone who's fully present and available to you. Don't settle for less than that. Take this time to work on yourself, get clear on what you truly want, and when you're ready, you'll be able to find that connection again. I believe in you, man. You got this.

[Petermorgan343434]

From a position of experience,

i would cut then off. Don't’ let them drag you down, they need to work on them selves before they are ready for you or anyone else. You should explore other options out there, and allow yourself to heal so you either can move on in life or be ready when they are healed from what ever is causing this behavior.

[Asker]

thanks for the response! In the past I would’ve cut someone her off by now but yk, a bit harder cuz of the history, I think I will cut them off, can’t stay on one person forever, for as corny as it is, you really only live once so

[jahaims]

Definitely cut her off. She will still use you for validation etc. while getting railed by everyone. She isn't emotionally mature enough for a healthy relationship so she compartmentalizes her needs into different people instead of forming healthy bonds

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

There are no therapists here, I suggest you look for actual qualified professionals.

[Flower7]

Yes, stop trying to be “friends” with her.