Do Girls Secretly Like Muscular Guys?

[HikerDude]

Ok, I know this is a question that's been asked a lot, but please humor me.

I know that everyone likes a fit body, but what I'm curious about is how a lot of girls seem to say one thing then do another when it comes to muscular guys. In other words, they say they don't really like guys who are all that muscular, but then they fawn over built guys.

I just went through a process of losing over 80 pounds last year, and now I'm trying to get my body into better shape for dating and to feel better about myself. I've heard girls say that they don't really like muscular guys, but there's a guy at my college who is really built and lean and every girl seems to at least have a crush on him.

So it seems like girls say one thing and prefer another when it comes to muscular guys. I almost feel like girls tell guys not to get muscular because they believe guys become players when they get built. I don't want to become a player, but I do envy the attention that those guys seem to get from girls.

So to the girls, which is it? Do you secretly prefer really built guys but don't want to admit it, or do you honestly not care? Please be honest.

[OrionRose]

This is about as muscular as I like my guys:

newnownext.mtvnimages.com/.../...e-host-9c0d21.jpg

Or this muscular max:

s-media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/.../...9b44761e4a.jpg

This muscular is too much and kinda off putting:

fc08.deviantart.net/.../..._stonepiler-d4148ie.jpg

It's about balance and proportions. But yes, I love an in shape man with good muscle definition.

[OrionRose]

Tennis players, swimmers and soccer players have the best bodies in my opinion

[RealDedication]

Last guy is a champ and is too much man for you to handle.

[OrionRose]

Yeah, I'm sure that's the issue. Too much man. Not the fact that he looks like he's on steroids (shrinks your dick) and might be hormonally imbalanced.

[HikerDude]

See, this is why I don't listen to what guys say about this topic.

[OrionRose]

@RealDedication might have some ideas about what makes a man attractive (hence his ideas that scary dude looks like a champ), but it's biological why a dude like that is not attractive to women.

@HikerDude, if you want to learn more about body type and sexual attraction, look up the Adonis index. Bigger is not always better, despite what many men think.

However, it's not about perfection. We are who we are and a woman will love you because of your love for yourself. Of course, take care of yourself and keep your body in shape (it's healthy and healthiness is attractive) but as long as your a good person, you will find that women will desire you.

Best of luck!

[Mesonfielde]

I don't see the difference between the second and the third, lol.

[OrionRose]

@Mesonfielde

It's about proportion. The third guy seems more unproportional than the second. Like his biceps got too big for his body.

I actually prefer the body to the second guy when he's slimmer (he's more bulked up than usual in this pic because it's part of his prep for his role as captain america). When he's slimmer, he looks like a normal guy who stays in shape

[vmw2008]

We do think it's hot. It's not much of a secret. Those who say they don't is for 2 reasons:

1) they actually do prefer slimmer, or are worried that by "muscular" a man will become body-builder looking. That's not attractive to most women to get that big.

2) You're right. They're worried he'll be a player.

[HikerDude]

"We do think it's hot. It's not much of a secret."

If it's not a secret, then why do so many girls proclaim that they don't like muscular guys? I don't know why they can't just be honest about it. Maybe it because they think it'll make them seem superficial?

Thanks for your answer.

[vmw2008]

Yeah that may be part of it, but I think it's more a combination of my two points above. They're afraid if they say "muscular" a man will misinterpret that as "body-builder" which isn't hot. Also, girls do not demand a man be muscular to be attracted to him, it's just a bonus. And lastly, they're afraid any guy who gets too good looking will become a player (and unfortunately many do for a time).

[HikerDude]

I don't think it's fair for girls to want all the power in dating, though. It seems like girls want to be so attractive that they can get any guy but want guys to be much less attractive so we will have to take what we can get. I've been fat and undesirable and I don't ever want to be like that again. The girls in my social circle wouldn't even take me seriously as a guy, like I was some sort of asexual mascot or something. Now that I've lost weight and am trying to gain muscle, those same girls are acting like I'm superficial and just trying to become a player. Where's the middle ground? It's like I'm either an undesirable fat guy or an undesirable, buff player. I don't get it.

[vmw2008]

I get why you feel that way, and I personally wouldn't want a guy much less attractive just to be sure he'd stay. I want attraction and passion as well. However, the difference here is that women (as a rule) are much more relationship-oriented. So even those of us who are very attractive will still want to take one man serious in a committed relationship. Men can be more sexually-oriented, so those who are very attractive may want to just sleep around and not take us seriously as a person.

It's a lot bigger of a threat I suppose when a guy has more dating options, because he's more likely to want short flings and sex only since he can get them. This rubs many women the wrong way as I'm sure you could guess, since we don't desire to do the same thing to men when we have lots of options.

[vmw2008]

The only advice I can give you is not to be cocky. Don't make it your mission to sleep around just because you can, and girls will not give you the player/superficial label. Some may still, but eventually they'll see you're just a good looking, good guy, and then you're the biggest catch out there.

[HikerDude]

I feel like girls give guys the player label just for trying to improve ourselves (e. g. gaining muscle, improving our social skills). It's never been my goal to have flings with every other woman I meet. That kind of thing is nice as a fantasy, but reality is much different than that. That said, I'm tired of being on the outside looking in. I've had quite a few people tell me that girls will really like me when I'm older, but I just don't want to wait until I'm 25 to have a girlfriend. Honestly, I don't feel like I should have to, either. I guess if I have to put on a persona to spark attraction with a girl then that's just what I'll have to do. If girls can dress up and put on makeup to get guys, then we can lift weights and learn some tactics to increase attraction.

[vmw2008]

On the contrary, I encourage men to lift weights and do things to increase their attractiveness. This does not put me off, that's for sure. Being an actual player is what puts me off. As a very attractive guy, you may have to pursue some to convince a woman you don't just like her for sex, but it will increase your options of women. That's for sure.

[HikerDude]

Increasing my options is definitely my main goal right now. I want to be taken seriously by girls so that even if I ultimately get rejected, they will consider me rather than just seeing me as a non-entity.

It sounds like you're saying that girls are more skeptical of good-looking guys. What's the best way to overcome that?

[vmw2008]

Time and consistency. Good looking guys lose it by pursuing half-assed, or only inviting her over for "movies" etc. Things that seem sexual in nature. Continuously showing physical attraction of course, but also interest in her as a person and getting to know her will get her to let her guard down.

In public as a general rule? Don't be that guy talking down about women, or bragging about hooking up. Ever. Girl hears you bragging and its over.

[HikerDude]

I feel like showing attraction is really important, but I struggle with that from being undesirable for so long. Girls like when guys crush on them, but only if they consider the guy hot. I try so hard not to seem creepy that I either don't show my attraction or I come off as creepy lol. No one at my college really goes on actual "date" dates, so I feel like girls would think being asked out for dinner or something might seem weirdly old fashioned.

[aamy811]

It really doesn't matter to me. My favorite is slim guys, like a life guard body (I think it's because all my fitness are slim and I've always wanted to be slim, so it's like I'm trying I get my kids to be slim), but I also like guys who are muscular and go to the gym a lot. But preferably slim

[HikerDude]

This is along the lines of what I usually hear girls say, that they prefer slimmer guys who are toned.

[aamy811]

yup, slim:
api.ning.com/.../...naturally_for_skinny_guys1.jpg

2.bp.blogspot.com/.../untitledthomas6.jpg

muscular:
4.bp.blogspot.com/.../sharky+2.JPG

https://www.vrouwen.nl/files/0/0/0/1/00015799.jpg

[HikerDude]

Thanks for including the pics to clarify. The guys you list as muscular are slimmer than what I would call muscular, though they are in good shape.

[Tokana]

:-? you call that muscular?

[aamy811]

@Tokana I'm 5'2 and about 110 so a lot of people are big or muscular to me. But yeah that's really muscular to me, what's muscular to you

[Tokana]

Muscular
www.cutandjacked.com/.../kai%20greene%20scr7.jpg

Lean
nattyornot.com/.../steve-cook-steroids.jpg

[aamy811]

@Tokana eww that guy is grossly huge

[Mesonfielde]

I will just share that I never really liked the look of muscles and the only reason why they are beneficial is so that you can move around more stuff, for which you can hire a moving company if you are so inclined. I am not going to start putting on extra muscle just because other people have a different preference from my own towards myself.

[front2back]

I don't know. My female friends always say that any girl would like my body for being so built and such, but then you get online and all you see girls do is say they'd rather have a barley toned guy than a muscular one. I'm always confused.

[rachelw94]

It honestly depends upon the woman.

I for one don't like super scrawny guys, but I also don't like super muscular dudes. I like a happy medium, just someone who keeps toned. I'm not really picky when it comes to guys though, because like woman, we all come in different shapes and sizes! :)

[TheDevilInside]

I like big guns and I cannot lie XD
Nothing secret about that. My friends know it.

Just as long as he doesn't look like this power ranger toy I had with massive shoulders and a tiny head...

[HikerDude]

Hahaha, I like the Power Ranger reference. I think some guys I see at the gym are trying to become Power Rangers judging by their look lol.

[Anonymous]

I have yet to meet a girl who says she doesn't like muscularity in a guy. There's tons of girls (myself included) who don't like guys who are super ripped, but I do like lean and muscular guys, just not to a really great extent. If you look like the hulk, you might be interesting to look at, but I don't find that very attractive. I would say I have pretty reasonable preferences. Abs are great, but don't do much for me, so I don't fawn over a guy who has a 6 pack (I don't fawn over anyone though lol.)
So yeah, basically, most girls like fit guys, some girls don't like the hulk look, some do.

[Anonymous]

No point in lying, guys who are fit are hot. BUT it's not that important. I'm currently dating a guy who's normal, slightly to the chubby side and I couldn't care less if he gained a couple of pounds or lost them. Because I like him a lot.
And it's definitely not hot when they overdo their workouts so they are on the verge of looking like bodybuilders, I don't get that haha. But that's just me :)

[britmarlene]

I dated a super buff guy and he was so Damn sexy but I chose my super thin husband over him although it was a turn on it wasn't better than my husbands personality.

[HikerDude]

I'm not the most outgoing person, which holds me back in dating. I'm very engaging once I know someone but not before then. I feel like being built would be a way to attract girls more without having to be super outgoing like most guys who are very successful with girls. Do you agree?

[panpan]

Sure. Muscles probably means the guy is strong, strong means power and power is attractive. But in the end it's simply a part of a person. If the guy's an ass, then muscles aren't going to make him less of an ass.

[Anonymous]

I lust after muscular guys but when it comes to crushing or being attracted - muscular guys aren't any more attractive to me than non-muscular guys - they tend to be less attractive. Good for lusting after but not good for romance.

[Anonymous]

tbh, no i don't like extremely muscular guys they look gross (no offense big guys) but i just like it to be average it doesn't have to be overrrrr it turns disgusting when it is HUGE and actually extremely muscular guys scare the shit out of me so yes just a simple guy

[almostgirl8]

Most girls do, not really a secret. But we sound shallow if we say it out loud. Biceps to me are what boobs are to guys

[HikerDude]

It's a secret when girls deny their attraction explicitly then gawk at shirtless guys who are really built. But I understand about y'all not wanting to seem shallow. I think it's kinda lame that girls can't express physical attraction openly without inviting a label.

[gblue25]

A guy who has mucles its nice but when it too much to me its unattractive. Some where in the middle but not to big

[pr3ttybr0wn]

i love built men. i have no problem admitting it. a guy doesn't have to be built for me to like him tho

[msg812]

not secretly, they like muscular guys and say it honestly but according to me they don't like muscular guys like body building athletes. they just want to see muscle on men's shoulders and stomach a bit. if im right, ladies can upvote my opinion :)

[Anonymous]

Only if I like his face, but not too muscular.
I like dominating them, and they are more of a challenge, compared to skinny guys.

[soooconfused]

Not all of us like that. Sounds like you're not 100% happy with you yet, so get to where you feel comfortable & confident. That's hot!

[HikerDude]

No, not at all. Part of me wants to become the big, muscular badass that I think lots of young guys want to be, but the more rational part of me says that this is a silly goal that doesn't have anything to do with what girls really want in guys. I tend to agree with what a few posters have written, that balance is the key.

[soooconfused]

Be solid, healty, happy. No one wants to be 2nd place to the gym either.

[HikerDude]

I don't want to live at the gym, but I do want to have options when dating. I've been the fat guy who no girl wanted to date, and that really took a toll on my self esteem. I'd prefer to be sought after for a change.

[soooconfused]

And that's all i'm really trying to say... you'll have your options. When you're happy with you it will show. You don't have to be all swollen with muscles to be considered "hot". Hot is the total package & take a closer look at those guys... not all they are cracked up to be.

[HikerDude]

Yeah, I know, I see a lot of attractive girls at my school with guys who aren't anything like what most guys would consider the ideal male body. Most of the guys are pretty skinny. My problem is that I'm not a comedian or class clown who can impress girls with "game," so I feel like I need to do something else to stand out.

Thanks for taking the time to answer.

[SkaterDude]

it's not a secret , more like lean and muscular not bulky and muscular

[Worldsugliestman]

You just realized that? LOL. All women are shallow.

[been_waiting]

I didn't know preferences were shallow. Reasonable preferences anyway.

[Worldsugliestman]

All women go after the meat head types.

[JulyAndrews]

Secretly? No I prefer muscles.

[HikerDude]

Yes.

[JulyAndrews]

I don't know any women in my circle not liking really built guys. So that's why the 'Secretly?' Don't most people prefer fit bodies? NOt just on others but on themselves? Of course there are the chubby chasers but those are not the majority. And yes there are also girls who like skinny guys (I absolutely don't)

[HikerDude]

I've read a lot about this online and asked some girls in my circle at college, and most of them say they don't really like muscular guys (by muscular I mean pretty big and lean, not a skinny guy with a six pack and small but defined arms.) Then they see a lean, big guy and they can't look away, so that's why I wrote "secretly" in the title. Many women don't seem like they're being totally honest about their preferences. I even had one female friend (who doesn't want to date me, btw) tell me that I should remain "normal" and not lift weights, and that I just wanted to get more muscular so that I could become a player. Thus the confusion on my part.

[JulyAndrews]

Weird women lol

[bubbletrouble]

I don't make it a secret

[harakiri]

No. That is not my preference.

[princessariel]

I don't like muscular guys