Are flowers for your girlfriend on a 4 month anniversary a little too much?

[Anonymous]

I've been with my girlfriend going on 4 months now and after the first couple months I felt like I should be doing something, even if its small, to acknowldge our anniversary. At our 3 month mark I almost got her flowers but was fearful that the 3 month mark isn't anything significant and doesn't justify flowers. Now with the 4 month mark approaching I'm again considering flowers and AGAIN worried that flowers are just a little too much for just 4 months together...

Am I wrong here or are there better gift ideas? (we already go out to dinner each month anniversary)

[ak666]

I'd generally advise no, but there's some level-headed strategy involved to a relationship.

If you establish a habit of showering your girlfriend with gifts and confessing your love on a monthly basis, then over the long term, if those habits start to diminish, the girl is going to be hurt and upset by it. She'll wonder if you still love her by weening off such habits, even if you still love her but are just growing tired of the tradition (or it's turning out to be expensive, e. g.).

So I'd suggest only doing this as frequently as you can maintain. If you can keep up monthly anniversaries for an entire lifetime, e. g., you'll be a saint. If you can't, your human limitations might interfere with what might otherwise be a great relationship without such frequent gifts.

When I was younger I was infatuated with a girl and showered her this way. I couldn't keep it up over a year, and she took that as a sign that I was starting to lose interest in her and her insecurity started to show. It went downhill from there.

With my wife, with whom I've been happily married for years, I learned to do the opposite. I learned that a gift is only as precious as it is rare and unexpected. By surprising her, say, once a year with my own cooking, champagne, flowers, the results seem much better than if you start developing a habit where this seems the norm, where this seems expected of you.

There's a bit of a cat and mouse game there to a healthy relationship as I see it, though your mileage may vary. It can help to feign a little bit of indifference and then, out of the blue, surprise her. You lose that element and power of surprise if you just start indulging her all the time with attention and gifts.

Anyway, it's all about what you can maintain to me. It's going to get harder since passion fades over time, but the connection and intimacy can still remain.

[EarthToKepler]

That doesn't sound too much... Maybe on the first date but you been with her 4 months :,) You're not wrong at all bro and congrats on the relationship hope you 2 are happy!

Get her those fu**ing flowers 😜 happy anniversary bro!

[Stacyzee]

You're thinking way too much into this.
Flowers are great!
It's not about the gift... its about the thought about counts!

Don't do it TOO big or you'll have nothing creative to give for a yearly anniversary.

[eileengan]

My partner gives me flowers for our anniversary every year and nothing else for almost 2 years and 3 months counting already! And I don't mind :)

[Justacatlady]

I think flowers are great. Maybe a date to go with them. :-)

[ccp16]

naw, no problem there, but just dont over due I think. how much time do you spend together on average?

[Asker]

With both being home for school we see each other about 4-5 times a week

[Anonymous]

I think giving her flowers is a good idea. It shows how much you care about her. It's like your telling her that you loved the four months you spent together and want it to last longer.

[sobg71124]

It's just flowers! I would have done that on a very early date. ?

[YanoaYanza]

Nahhhh flowers are good,
Or just give her a massage or something

the gift doesn't matters if it is sincere

[sid312]

Flowers after a couple dates is good so ur late

[macattack]

DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT

[beaulewis]

I don't think so no!