How to accept that no girl could ever love me?

Question

They say that only with hope, can there be true despair, so, I'm abandoning hope. How can I accept that I'm hideous, have too many mental issues, and am completely unlovable?

Answer 1

Rawrzz

Yoda

Haha. Oh, teenage angst. It takes me back. It'll get easier as you age.

While I understand the sentiment of wishing to abandon hope, it's a more difficult thing than just saying you're doing so. True despair will simply exist, irrelevant of hope--or if not "true" despair, then something similar. Rather, instead of abandoning hope, perhaps you should grasp on to it?

If hope is a rope out of a dark pit, and you were to grab the rope, the chances of falling back to the pitch black would increase potential pain, sure. By quite a lot, depending on how high you climbed up the rope. But only with the rope can you ever have a chance to escape that dark pit. Would it simply be better to resign yourself to being stuck in that dark pit? Would you be more content knowing that you would not have to risk falling? Or would you simply sit at the bottom, staring up at the light at the top and yearning for it; perhaps even growing to hate the light and cursing it for being out of grasp. Would you grow to hate yourself, as well, for failing to grasp on to your opportunity to climb out of the pit?

So, lemme ask you this. Is it that you are completely 100% sure that you're unlovable, or is it that you're afraid that you are? Well, unless you can tell the future, you can't 100% say you will always be unlovable. Though, if you can tell the future, help a brother out, huh?

In the end, you are terribly young. I'm sure you hear that often, but there's a reason for that. The person you are right now won't even be close to the person you are when you're around my age. Not physically, not mentally, not emotionally, not rationally, not ethically. You will completely change. In all likelihood you'll look back on moments like this and wonder, "How could that have possibly been me?" Or perhaps that's just me. In any case, you have a looooooot of developing to do. Right now, your frontal lobe still has almost a decade to develop. Things won't get easier--they might--but you'll be able to handle everything more easily.

And don't let yourself be a slave to a label, either. They told me I had everything under the sun, when I was a teen. MDD, SAD, Bipolar, Insomnia. Psychiatrists don't know wtf they're talking about. A therapist will do you a world more good than someone who simply throws medication at you. If that is applicable to your situation, at all. Further, females are more able to look past appearance than males. Maybe not right now, but eventually. Patience grasshopper.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hiduiTq1ei8

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Answer 2

nightskycat

Xper 5

You can give up of you want but your not even 18 yet. Life has only just begun for you and you should realize that there is a lot more to life than love.
Your probably being way to hard on yourself and you just need to chill out and relax. You can find a girl or a guy if thats what you want who loves you. Just be patient until the right one comes by.

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Asker

+1 y
My desire to be loved has gotten bad enough that I'm actually considering going to a mental hospital, I think I should give up
nightskycat

+1 y
Everyone wants to be loved, that's just natural but don't let the concept of love consume your life and impact your decisions.
You and I are both so young still and we should both be enjoying ourselves.

Answer 3

Asker

My desire to be loved has gotten bad enough that I'm actually considering going to a mental hospital, I think I should give up

Answer 4

nightskycat

Everyone wants to be loved, that's just natural but don't let the concept of love consume your life and impact your decisions.
You and I are both so young still and we should both be enjoying ourselves.

Answer 5

butimsharon | 59 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 5

No. Do not accept that. You know why? Because you can change the things that bother you and make yourself a better you. If you need any help I'd be more than happy to help you :)

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Answer 6

Anonymous

Don't get your hopes up yet, you're still young with a lot of life left to live. Just because you haven't found the right one now doesn't mean you won't down the road.

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TrooperD007

+1 y
Can I bash women?
Opinion Owner

+1 y
Um... Why?

Answer 7

TrooperD007

Can I bash women?

Answer 8

Opinion Owner

Um... Why?

Answer 9

silverfeline | 251 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

Instead of adopting a negative outlook why not try to believe that you can be alone and still be happy and content with who you are?

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Asker

+1 y
Because humans are a social animal and prolonged isolation eventually has detrimental effects on anyone
silverfeline

+1 y
Except what i said is the same thing as what you said except it's positive so what's the difference?
Asker

+1 y
Because my statement is based on reality?
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silverfeline

+1 y
More like negativity because there arevrealvlife examples of people who have been able to be happy without a romantic partner

Answer 10

Asker

Because humans are a social animal and prolonged isolation eventually has detrimental effects on anyone

Answer 11

silverfeline

Except what i said is the same thing as what you said except it's positive so what's the difference?

Answer 12

Asker

Because my statement is based on reality?

Answer 13

silverfeline

More like negativity because there arevrealvlife examples of people who have been able to be happy without a romantic partner

Answer 14

Anonymous

Please don't give up! You're still young and I'm sure you will find her sooner or later. Or maybe she finds you 😊

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Answer 15

Jay-Are | 146 opinions shared on Dating topic.

Xper 6

By not accepting that it is that way. I don't know what's going on in your life but at one point in my life I though I was ugly, stupid and completely undateable. Guess what, things changed.

Find something that makes you feel good and build from there. For me it was discovering that I was musically gifted. It gave me the confidence to build more confidence.

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Answer 16

TheGamingOne

Xper 5

Dont give up, but dont look iether
Maby you'll just happen to cross paths with a mentally insane girl Just like you :P
(just kidding)

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Answer 17

TheSmithy

Xper 5

I know you must be going though some tough times :(. There will always be someone who loves you no matter what happens. So hold on and stay strong and you will find that girl :D.

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