Would a somewhat short Asian guy 5'8" stand a chance with a girl?

[TKasap]

I'm an Asian American, born and raised in the US who's had little success with girls! I'm somewhat shorter than most people my age (cuz I live in the US), though average for an Asian male at 5'8"(172 cm). I go the gym as much as I can and keep my body healthy and get tan in the summer though not as much in winter. I'm starting to gain more lean muscle (my goal is to get to at least 160 lbs (73 kg)). I was a hockey player in high school and I can hold my own against a bigger guy. I like anime, hockey, pop culture (to an extent) and am a huge animal lover. I tend to be a little shy and only open up to certain people who I've known for a while which makes me feel comfortable. I do have social anxiety as I've faced rejection, judgements, and bullying before. I do have judgements in my mind but I never say them out loud. I tend to be a little honest when it is right. I consider myself a nice guy who won't cheat or do anything to mess up a relationship or even a moment. I'm definitly not perverted and hate those who are and don't go after a girl just cuz of certain "parts". To me as long as her body's fine I mainly just focus on the face which is my main view point of a girl. I do have preferences but they r not strict and I can always make exceptions. I've found girls who are thin (NOT UNDERWEIGHT), blonde hair, blue eyes, average height (5'3-5'5(160-165 cm)) to be the most attractive but again, I can always make exceptions. I won't reject anyone just cuz of a few minor flaws! I seek a good personality most of all. I prefer someone who's loving, caring, smart, nice, forgiving, compassionate, open-hearted, open-minded and not demanding in anyway and doesn't really care what others think. I also prefer someone who's not afraid to get dirty (as I'm around animals alot) but has good hygene. I feel some qualities hold me back. Some I can (shyness, money) and some I can't control (Eyes, Race, Height). All I want is someone who cares! n yes i got that from Michelle Branch

[LeeDynastyy]

Hey, I'm Korean American who moved to the US around 7 or 8 years ago, and I know exactly what you are going through. I'm also interested in white, blonde, green/blue eyed girls and many of them showed me interest. I'm young, but a lot of the posters here don't really know 100% what it feels like to be an Asian in the dating world so please listen to me!

There are so many negative Asian stereotypes and the media portrays us as losers. Some white girls in some areas are not exposed to many Asians, and as a result they will assume that you are somewhat nerdy, awkward, weird, etc.

Over the last week of participating in this site, I've noticed that a lot of the girls and guys are overly positive when they are responding to comments. A lot of the girls said, "Height is not a problem for me, blah blah", but to be honest, research has shown that height is the FIRST thing in the list for many girls, more important than looks, wealth, social status, build, personality, etc. I recently had a poll called, "What is the BEST height" and over 100 people participated in it. Most people said 6 feet was the most desirable. Go to my profile and check it out.

There are many negative stereotypes of Asian Americans, but I figured out a way to stand out and beat the stereotypes. I wish I can tell you more but this site is only allowing me to type 2500 words so let me summarize.

1.) SHOW CONFIDENCE. Girls, especially white girls, want confident guys who go for whatever they want. You need to be the one initiating. You need to be the one keeping the conversation going, get her number, take her out to dates, and repeat that process. Show confidence by

-Learn how to walk taller and confidently (look this up in google).
-Learn how to talk without stuttering and get rid of an accent if you have one. Asians tend to lack testosterone and as a result we have a higher voice. Try to lower it a bit.
-Take care of yourself. Get the right haircut for your face, get fitting clothes that make you look taller, etc.
-Get rejected a lot and don't take it personally. The point is to get experience rather than get as many girls as possible. At first initiating will be extremely awkward, but it's okay if you get rejected. You will start to notice your mistakes and improve yourself as time passes.

[LeeDynastyy]

PART 2 - You mentioned that you have social anxiety due to being rejected, being judged, and being bullied. This is common for many Asian Americans.
You need to overcome your shyness. Shyness shows that you are afraid to do the things you want because you are afraid to be judged by others. Go to google and type, "How to stop caring what people think". There will be a video by the channel Actualized. org. Watch the whole 50~ minute video and learn from it, apply it to your own life.
I got bullied before, but I'm glad that it happened because it made me a stronger person. I now know how to deal with people's bs without getting mad or hurt.
You also mentioned that you are a, "nice guy". STOP. You never want to be the "nice guy". Nice guys get friend zoned, rejected, looked down upon, and over time you will find out that girls don't give you respect for being too easy. Some will even laugh at you! Know the difference between "nice guy" and "good guy". Again, do more research on the web.

[LeeDynastyy]

PART 3 - I think the number one reason why you have trouble being confident is the language barrier. You made your profile as, "Age 20", but based on your writing style, I highly doubt it, unless English is your second language. When you know how to socialize well, confidence will follow naturally. Your post is understandable, but it could have been explained in a much better style. Please understand that I'm not trying to just criticize you. I'm being direct and honest with you as a fellow Asian brother.
You mentioned that you have positive personality traits. This is good, but it will only be good once you get the girls interested in you first. Girls look at personality but they can't help but look at your physical appearance first. You are on the shorter side so you need to make that up with a lean, athletic build, a sense of style, and a good vibe of confidence. You will realize that girls and guys will both start to respect you for it.

[LeeDynastyy]

PART 4 - There are a lot more things that I want you to learn about dating. I recommend the channel Coach Corey Wayne on Youtube. Watch a few of his top videos and read his book, "How to be a 1# man". This self help book was probably the most helpful book I have ever read in my life. It helps you understand why and how women act and how you should respond. I am positive that this will significantly increase your level of confidence.
That's all the tips I can give you. As an Asian-American you have a disadvantage over other races, but it's possible to date other White girls! Like I said, I'm only 16, but many white girls show interest and get nervous around me because I know how to use my body language, voice, and language properly. Good luck!

[LeeDynastyy]

The book is called "How to be a 1% man"*. My bad, typo.

[TKasap]

I am 20 years old. I just don't really care about my writing style on social media. It's casual and doesn't matter to me. I'm only fluent in English, though I have taken Spanish and know some Japanese from watching anime. I don't even have any Asian accent.

[TKasap]

I tend to want to break negative stereotypes. I live in the midwest where there's few Asians so I like to show people what they think or see in the media isn't true. I choose to make friends with people of all races and don't conform to the norm. I guess in a way I'm an Asian Jackie Robinson. It's kinda like a girl playing boys sports and liking boy items if you know what I mean.

[LeeDynastyy]

That's great. Just make sure to keep on working on yourself man.

[iFarted]

The problem with you guys is that you guys always just want white girls..

Fuck the stereotypes, own what you are and stop caring about the negatives. Y'all always mind fuck yourselves.

[TKasap]

@iFarted Asian guys don't always want white girls. Most i've seen go for other Asian girls. I personally have been attracted to white girls.

[iFarted]

It seems like the one who openly thirst for only white girls that complain the most

[tardis1]

The secret to dating white girls is to build comfort and trust before asking her out or getting romantic. Most girls will automatically reject a guy if he is a complete stranger and if he is ugly. But take the time to get to know a girl as a friend first, through social circle and common interests, and build up her comfort and trust around you. After a month of friendship, she may want to pursue a romantic relationship. Don't push a girl into sexual activity too early if she is not ready. The key is to have good communication skills and social skills - be friendly, funny, compassionate, and interesting to talk to. You may face a lot of rejection at first, but find girls that actually want to talk to you and hang out with you. If all else fails, join a white church and ask the pastor to help you find someone to marry, a lot of white girls are deeply religious.

[TKasap]

@iFarted by the way. The Main reason I prefer white girls is that most Asian girls look the same to me. Personally dating them would be like dating someone in my family which would be weird. Therefore I feel more comfortable dating girls who look nothing like me.

[nfigure]

Average height for males in the US is actually about 5'8"-5'10" in general. So you are right there among those of average height. And I've seen lots of guys shorter than that, who have girlfriends. So the height is no issue at all.

You are only 20, and still have a lot of time in life to find someone. Seriously, at 20, you still have the whole world in front of you.

Just keep talking to and going after the girls you like, and try not to feel any pressure that you have to come across as impressive every time you open your mouth to say something to her. That's one of the top anxieties guys have that causes them to be shy and socially anxious in front of girls. Nobody will be funny and/or badass all the time, or even most of the time. We're just human. Some moments, you will get to shine and be the coolest guy in the room. But most moments in life will be unremarkable and mundane. Some moments will be lame. But that's just life.

Just relax and talk, and eventually a girl you like will open up to you too.

[teatea111]

5'8" isn't even that short. Of course a girl would date guys your height. There are a lot of great, open minded girls out there so don't think that factors you can't change like race and height (after a certain time) will hold you back.

[Drooogie4]

Im 5'7" with a 5'6" fiance.

Not a big deal to most girls i dont think.

[ProCuddler]

I'm 5'5" and I've never had a problem. I've dated girls up to 5'9". Nice thing is you'll avoid all of the shallow ones. Really, just be intelligent and be kind and you'll have no issue.

[Carly18]

I dated a guy that was 5'4 once and I am 5'3. Height is not a problem for me.

[Anonymous]

if ur 5'8" then ur not Asian. Asians are no taller than 5'5"

[LeeDynastyy]

I'm 5'11.5 and I'm Asian.

[TKasap]

Not true. My younger bros about 6'0 (I'm a little jealous) my uncles 6'1. I know a Chinese guy in the Army who's 6'3. Plus Yao Ming and Jeremy Lin!

[blondfrog]

5'8 is not short yes you do.