Is it weird to tell a guy you masturbated to him?

[Anonymous]

I told my guy that I masturbated to him and he still hasn’t read my message because he’s working. I’m starting to feel super embarrassed cause I don't know how he’d react to that! Was that weird to say?

Yes

No

Other (leave details)

Updates

+1 y

In two weeks we’ll be exclusive for a year so it’s not about him being a stranger, it’s about whether it’s weird to confess to him that I was thinking of him during the act.

[nightdrot]

Nope. Although it depends somewhat on what your relationship has been like, most guys would be flattered.

He may be surprised and a bit taken aback. However, even that gives you another bight at the apple, so to speak.

If he replies and mentions it, you can pretty much take it from there. If he says he was surprised or after a day or so does not respond, send him a "follow-up." Tell him that you hope YOU did not embarrass HIM, and that you had debated saying anything but you found his so attractive and sexy that you felt you had to say something.

Repeat that you hope that you did not embarrass him and that you would like to make him a dinner or something or take him out. In a nutshell, you gave yourself a reason to reach out to him again.

[nightdrot]

In addition to your follow-up, if you've been dating for a year than it is anything BUT weird. It may indicate to him that the relationship is intensifying.

Bottom line, the more we get to know someone and are with someone, the more that they learn about us. In any scale of values, what you told him is not only not weird, let alone the crime of the century, it becomes, in due course, pretty normal.

That said, you can still take my suggestion. It is a way to bring you closer together.

[ChurchOfIron]

Are you kidding me? I do that all the time, to chicks I don't even know. [lul, not rlly. Kind of. :D] You're in a relationship with him, so it's more understandable. He'll like it.

[Pamina]

Umm. It's your sex partner. He knows already you masturbate to him, like you know he does to you. I don't understand what would be weird about telling him. This makes no sense.

[Asker]

We haven’t had sex

[Pamina]

Okay, I'm not gonna get into why on Earth people of your age would be with someone for a year without having sex, as I'm pretty sure whatever you'll tell me will just make me facepalm real hard. So I'll just ignore that part for now.

But even if you don't have sex, you're "together" in a non-platonic sense, I assume? So it doesn't change anything I said. You're together because - among other things - you feel sexually attracted to each other. So again - that you two masturbate to each other is already a given.

[Asker]

People my age are together but not have sex because I have to wait for my guy to come back since he is military and we did not get to “seal” the deal before he left. Idc if that makes you facepalm. We are not “platonic”, we are in an exclusive relationship where right now we cannot act upon sexual desires due to circumstances so we have to use different methods, this being one that I tried. I get what you’re saying about “already knowing” but there’s a difference between someone assuming and then flat out knowing that they think of you. I personally would not feel anything but flattered had he said that to me, but people are different and trying new things sometimes is scary and nerve wracking, which was my state when I asked the question.

[Pamina]

You've been together for a year and haven't seen each other since you started?

[Asker]

We started and we were dating for a couple of months and then he had to leave. But he said he didn’t want to rush things because of the circumstances. So basically yeah. We started, he held, we continued.

[Asker]

He left*

[Pamina]

A couple of months? Rush things? Okay, I think I'll just stop asking.

Anyway, if you're actually worried your own partner might find it weird if you tell him something like this, then maybe think about what that would even mean. Imagine your partner reacting negatively to something like that. What would that tell you?

[Asker]

Not everyone has the same values. But, It’s honestly not worth discussing because to each their own. We work fine. It was more about me and how to cope with my feelings cause I had to stare at the message and wait for him to respond and I just felt like “ahh omg that’s so bad” but essentially I know it won’t change anything in our relationship. I just wanted to reach out to the gag community and see if my feelings were unnecessary.

[Pamina]

Values, I see.

[Asker]

I mean, maybe not values, sorry English is my second language and I sometimes don’t know which words apply but I mean that he’s had a past where his connections were mostly sexual and his relationships were in the form of friends with benefits and he didn’t want to get into something sexual too soon and then when the time he was leaving came, he said that he didn’t want to because he didn’t want to do that and then for us to not last through it. I had to be patient with him and some people, like you I suppose don’t see the logic in it but had he not been in the military we would’ve sealed the deal by now, but for now we have to wait until I visit him for Christmas.

[Pamina]

It just baffles me how a couple of months could be too soon. But okay, whatever makes you happy.

[Asker]

If i really felt serious about him which I did, I had to respect his outlook on sex and whether he was comfortable or not. It’s no different than when a girl says she wants to wait. No one ever complains about that besides the guys that can’t get in their pants

[Pamina]

It baffles me regardless of who it is who wants that. At first I thought it was you, and it baffled me. Now I know it's him and it still baffles me. It's the idea itself that baffles me. But I don't think I'll ever understand this type of reasoning.

[Asker]

Hahaha I’m on the same boat! I was so frustrated and mad that he had a past of tinder swiping but had to act all holy with me. But we’re pass that, now it’s just a matter of being together again lol

[pitzi]

If he's just a friend, yes. Very weird and creepy.
I had guys I know irl randomly telling me that before and it absolutely grossed me out.

[Ripper_E]

People masturbate all the time, but they don't go around telling people the time and place, who or what was on their mind when they did it. If a girl told me that, I would feel very awkward. I wouldn't stop talking to her, but that would be weird for her to just tell me that.

[pumaOH24]

No, it's not weird unless he's not your boyfriend.
I bet he'll say pics or it didn't happen. j/k
I think he'll be glad that you do that and will probably want to know more about it.

[TadCurious]

I'm sure he loved reading that. Not weird at all. After he's through with work I'm sure he'll acknowledge it.

[Browneye57]

Very. He would get way more out of it if you had said you were thinking about him and got all hot and you want him, instead. Guys want to be wanted - not that you did yourself instead.

[Ninetales101]

Yes and no. Well so its weird cause u don’t just tell someone that its kinda shocking but not weird if he like you cause well he like u

[Gedaria]

He will get a hard on just thinking of you doing it. I can only talk how I would feel it would have me one ….

[Philyouup]

I will bet, once he reads it, he's going to be hard and horny.. You good love.

[Anonymous]

Depends on the guy, but most of them would like it.

[ATuairiscean]

Its fine - A version of sexting

[scooogy]

If it was your guy, then no. Any guy? Yes.

[Decentguy]

you had nothing better to say to a guy? Really?

[Skali9119Liska]

It’s not weird it’s pleasantly surprising haha

[jon28805]

I don’t think it’s weird at all.

[jimyee]

No, that's hot.

[sarahhcmarie]

yeah, weird

[Anonymous]

Yes, and perverted.