What are the signs that a man is insecure?

[Anonymous]

What are the most obvious signs that a man is insecure?

[A-man-22]

Most men are insecure about something.

If they are hesitant or don't want to open up that can be a sign.

[Asker]

This is him!!

[A-man-22]

Yeah, this is either or a combination of:
Anxiety
Insecurity
Introversion
Nervousness

[Asker]

Now to figure out which one!

[A-man-22]

I'd have to know him personally to make a good decision but introvesion and nervousness are what I would be thinking.

[Asker]

Here is the rundown- we met online (I know I know) we talked and talked then finally met. He was a HUGE flirt and the sweetest most open guy ever! He stayed that way. Then when it kinda got a little serious with meeting each other’s kids and families and started spending the night with each other he closed up. Like closed COMPLETELY! He says he has a hard time expressing his emotions and for me to be patient. I have been because he is a really good guy other than the no validation and affection. I get a goodbye kiss and IF IM LUCKY he will initiate sex once a week. I get random slaps on the ass but that’s it. I just don’t know how in the beginning he was soooo open and flirty and now there is a 10ft wall it seems. But he drops hints about me moving in, including what I want in his new house and asks my opinion on everything. I just don’t know.

[A-man-22]

Maybe he has problems with either your family or children.
If he has feelings for you but would struggle to get along with your family that may be why he is closing up.

[Asker]

Oh no! He encourages me to be with them. They get along great! He actually talks to them as much as I do. And he adores my daughter. I’m just confused 🤷‍♀️

[CircleGetsTheSquare]

He bangs you right away

[Asker]

He didn’t do that. He waited. He also told me when I was ready to make the move

[CircleGetsTheSquare]

Ok... In what area do you feel he is insecure?

[Asker]

Emotions and possibly his body. But god I don’t know why! His body is great! I have told him that a hundred times. He does have an insulin pump he tries to hide so he leaves his shirt on during sex. The size of his manhood isn’t a problem. So mainly with his emotions and opening up. Thing is I just want him to open one time so I know how he feels about me. I’m not asking for a lot at all.

[CircleGetsTheSquare]

How does he treat you, does he show you he cares? Maybe encourage him when he makes you feel beautiful or cared for and see his response. He may slip out an, I love you... Who knows. Lol

[Asker]

He has never complimented me! Nothing I’ve cooked, nothing I have worn nothing! All I have noticed was how he stares at me when he is sitting across from me. Plus he always has eye contact. He shows he cares, I think. He is involved with my daughter. He has been there with me to lawyers (custody) he pays attention to little details, then surprises me with little things. It’s always, where I want to eat, where I want to go etc

[CircleGetsTheSquare]

He is so into you but feels like if he says anything he will regret it bc you'll ultimately leave him regardless. He may be guarded not just insecure. Be gentle and thank him with the little details. The bigger picture will come into focus.

[Asker]

Thank you!!! I’m not going to give up on him, he is such a great guy! I just didn’t want to be hurt again. What you said seems accurate. I really needed this!

[CircleGetsTheSquare]

Np, patience to weather the storm of his emotions when he does let them flow over you. Careful what you ask for.. Lol. Remember behind every great man is an even great woman who loves his sorry ass.

[Asker]

This is true!! I’m in it for the long haul so he will eventually realize I love his crazy ass unconditionally

[CircleGetsTheSquare]

🐧🐧

[Logorithim]

Everything bothers him and he takes the most negative interpretation of everything someone says or does.

[ragequeen]

They criticize others frequently. They also like to promote themselves and their lives and make others seem like less compared to him. He might not be aware of this and that adds to the insecurity

[DrHonesty]

Big gross jacked up diesel truck that blows black smoke everywhere. Too many tattoos. Unnaturally ripped or jacked up body. Alcoholism. Too cheap and/or thrifty, over spending for income, frugal, angry, violent, short fuse, lack of self control, poor quality speech and/or vocabulary, stuttering, slurring speech, poor oral and/or overall hygiene, indecisiveness, poor and/or slow and ineffective decision making skills, poor and/or lack of problem solving skills etc. Etc.

[DrHonesty]

The secret is to find a GOOD man, not a NICE guy. 😉

[DrHonesty]

And focus on trying to be a woman that a MAN NEEDS, not a woman that NEEDS A MAN 😉

[Asker]

Agreed!!

[worldscolide]

LOL i always see those with trucks like that as making up for their shortcomings in the bedroom if you get my meaning.

[MelaninDoll]

You must be talking from experience, that's WAY too detailed.

[DrHonesty]

I'm just thorough

[DocilexElle]

thaaaaats myyyyyy guyyyy LOL

[Factshurt90]

He criticizes EVERYTHING! he can’t walk into a room without making a comparison. Most of what he says is judgement based. He’s overly assertive. Never relaxed. Attention seeking.
The less aggressive types are shy, withdrawn. Ask for validation, have trouble making their own decisions. Tend to go with what everyone else wants.

[Factshurt90]

I forgot the main thing. Weak eye contact, shoulders held up instead of back. Body shrinking. Arms folded across their body.
Legs crossed over one another when standing (not always) this one is iffy, but usually consistent.

[worldscolide]

It really depends on the man. There are a few common things to look for though.

- Constantly seeking approval
- Sometimes behaving in a controlling/jealous manor
- Berating him self when he makes a mistake
- Over use of the word sorry
- He can't take jokes
- He can't take criticism
- He gets angry over anything critical of him.

I use to be like this until i met my wife...

[serious]

Yes this makes sense.

[worldscolide]

i would add that embellishment and lying will be common in someone with low self esteem

[VIVANT]

Were you looking for a relationship when you met her?

[worldscolide]

No.. I was also on a downward spiral..

[VIVANT]

How did you meet her and how did you let her into your life at that time? What made you trust her?

[worldscolide]

Honestly I was depressed. Very close to suicide so letting someone into my life i reasoned was better than death.. and i met her at a shine down concert

[VIVANT]

I’m glad you found her

Did she just approach you?

[worldscolide]

@VIVANT We sat next to each other at the concert.. We had conversations, It started snowing really hard, and she didn't feel comfortable driving 4 hours in the snow so i invited her to crash in my bed while i took the couch.

[VIVANT]

Wow that’s really romantic actually 😊

Not that It need to be, it’s just a nice story

[worldscolide]

@VIVANT Thanks!! i kind of lucked out with her... by the way i didn't sleep on my couch, she insisted is share the bed with her.

[VIVANT]

Did you guys just sleep or did it go behind lol

[worldscolide]

@VIVANT Nothing happened that night.. It didn't feel right plus i felt like it would be taking advantage of her. the next time she came over though thats a different matter lol.

[VIVANT]

Lol well it wouldn’t be taking advantage if she wanted to but it’s sweet that way and I guess you guys got your Chance after

[VIVANT]

I’m sure she wanted to but also was attracted to the fact you didn’t try -yet lol

[VIVANT]

I guess it’s awkward bc she relies on being there so sex could feel manipulative even if it wasn’t if it was mutual or had been

[worldscolide]

@VIVANT She definitely wanted it... I had only just met her, and i told her it wasn't right. She was not upset thankfully (i have had that reaction from others before)

[Anonymous]

lol that can manifest itself in a lot of ways. The funny thing is guys are sent the double message by women. Read some of comments of the women on this thread and they call a guy insecure for being timid. But then they call him insecure for being aggressive. It's funny i read your back and forth with @CirclGetsTheSquare. I'm guessing you've got damage from past relationships. Well guys are no different. You don't want to be hurt well guess what neither does he. I've been setup by a lot of women in my lifetime. And each time one gets close to me i have to ask myself what's her angle? what game is she playing? Because in my history they all have. Time is the only thing that's going to tell him you're for real. Only thing you have to decide is he worth that investment and are you willing to wait.

[Asker]

I would never hurt him and I understand how it’s hard because yes, I was hurt in a past relationship. That’s why I need validation and affection to feel like I’m wanted. But he shuts down! I don’t even get a hand hold or a cuddle while sitting on the couch or his arm around me. A goodbye kiss and sex maybe once a week is all I get. I have tried to pull away thinking he needed space but wouldn’t ask and when I would pull away he thought I was playing games. We practically live together and I would try and spend a night or 2 at my place just to give him space and he was like whyyy? Stay here. So apparently he doesn’t want space.

[Opinion Owner]

No it seems pretty clear he doesn't want space and the lack of affection concerns me. How does he act when he does show some affection is it fluid or does he fumble. Because if he fumbles the would suggest to me he's just not comfortable showing affection for whatever reason. But if he's fluid in it then that tells me he just doesn't want to and either he doesn't get that you need it or doesn't care.

[Asker]

He is pretty much fluid with it. The kiss goodbyes is actually as much as I have gotten besides sex so really I can’t tell which way he is with it. Sex is great, he gets into it with emotion a little. The goodbye kisses are great. He looks me in my eyes until his lips touch mine and it’s just sweet! But that’s really all the affection I have gotten. I have stressed the importance to him many times and he says he is trying but it’s been 2 months and no change

[Spawnface]

Having self image ptoblems, particularily having to control what others think of him.

Hypersexualizing men, men that boast their own masculinity to absurd levels.

Having problems with rank, status, or wealth, issues that invalidate his authority.

Being immoving in belief and thought. Having to remain stagnant on a belief due to the emotional investments put into it.

Generally its just being controlling of others.

[Lavinnykins]

Wanting to always know where you're going, who you're with, what time you'll be where... wants to know how you feel, constantly seeks reassurance of the smallest things i. e. not hearing you say 'I love you' enough. Invites them-self out with you if you're going somewhere and they don't want to be alone...

[Zip1277]

The biggest indicator is usually when he fails to meet your eyes if you're talking to him or when he's talking to you.

Other men may try and impress you with their words -telling that story about how much he can bench, how fast their car is, etc-. Any time you feel he's saying something to impress you or get a reaction from you can also be a good indicator of insecurity.

[spartan55]

Talking about himself all the time, 'one upping' everything you say, bragging about himself, being jealous in his relationships... pretty much the same signs that a woman is insecure.

[Dionigi]

All men are insecure, you don't need signs to know that. Please be supportive to the men who show you his insecurities explicitly.

[VIVANT]

Nicely put 😊

[GoodGuyBreakingBad]

He says mean things to one to make himself look and feel better
he stays to himself , shows signs of depression, he can't take jokes
it upsets him , he withdraws from conversations with his partner.

[nojokecarmichael]

Dealt with a guy like this.
1. Tries to show off/ tries their hardest to impress you (usually with money or material items because they have nothing better to offer )
2. Negs (a backhanded compliment, insult or insult passed off as joke)
3. Lies to make himself seem more impressive

It shows differently depending on the person. I've met cocky insecure guys and the complete opposite

[AmourHoney]

He constantly asks if his penis is big under anonymous on GAG

[TeacherJay]

Lmfao if he needs to ask then the answer is no!

[Golden-Thread]

Never love to share u with any human on earth. He even get jealous with ur beloved pet. But never reveals his true loving feelings. All they need is ur loving touch. So please have regular sex. They need it to trust on u.

[Asker]

I don’t mind having sex with him! I love it! But I have to initiate it everytime

[IsabellaIII]

He compares himself to other guys and worries about what other people say about him all the time.

[Jackpot1977]

The main sign is they are a far left beta male they are completely insecure and don't act like a real man to fit in and get girls

[MelaninDoll]

Your comment sounds dumb but it's actually pretty true.

[Jackpot1977]

@MelaninDoll It is 100% true all my friends were antigay until gay rights became the in thing now they support same sex marriage but if you count how many times they said faggot in their lives you can see they only support liberal agendas because they want to be liked and even moreso they want girls to like them.

[Asker]

That’s the thing he has had girls messaging him and tons want to date him but he doesn’t seem to just settle. He told me he wanted a family life and when he found out that’s what I wanted we clicked.

[djmzes]

Simple

[samad_cero]

When he's angry, annoyed and doesn't want to speak up.
When a man doesn't want to show that he's feeling threatened.

[ZestyWatermelon]

No eye contact, looking down constantly, taking no pride in his appearance

[Anonymous]

I had a boyfriend who was insecure. I tried to help him but he wouldn't let me in. He would always put himself down when I brought him back up. After I show him I love him he still is unsure and ask billions of questions

[crazy8000]

Bullies.
Extrovert behavior like talking a lot, try to be the center of attention, being loud.
Try to dominate others.
Boss mentality.

[sonnysunshine]

I hate all you listed above too. But the guy who are insecure and compensate for it seem to do much better than introverted insecure guys.

[GreatnessBack]

When he gets mad and/or flustered by the slightest comment. A secure guy can take a little ribbing.

[Anonymous]

He’s very cocky- it’s a defense mechanism to disguise his insecurities

[Rave199]

This is the best answer I've read in this whole thread

[Opinion Owner]

thank you

[Anonymous]

Everyone is insecure about something just some are more than others.

[Midnight_Kiss]

When he acts like the world is against him and nothing is his fault.

[MelaninDoll]

That's called being self righteous which is kinda the opposite of insecure

[Eleni91]

Never been with a man but witnessing one of my sister ex he very controlling.

[Anonymous]

If he looks down at his feet or makes himself appear smaller when he's in the presence of a woman he thinks is attractive.

[Natural_Normal_Guy]

Always demand approbation of others to make himself feels "secure"

[nasty4fun]

Bragging,
Above his pay grade clothes,
Flash car/truck

[Anonymous]

He usually quotes nonsense related to philosophy, thinking that his opinion would look more important if he uses "big words" :)

[Exterminatore]

Panic attacks and curling into a fetal position and crying are real strong signs.

[CuriousMufuxka]

Whining. Complaining about things that really aren't relevant to the actual insecurities. Women are a much easier tell :)

[Anonymous]

Jealousy is not just a red flag, it is a huge flashing neon sign.

[ultimega]

When they ultra sensitive about stuff.
Complaining and worrying a lot about trivial matters.

[Anonymous]

Addiction Official Short Film by Abdul Rahman:

https://youtu.be/A1jpRBY-60I

[Anonymous]

What that woman said below is false! I’m very insecure and I’m never controlling.

[SarahsSummer]

controlling, jealousy, paranoia

[Anonymous]

If his penis is under 8" since size is all a woman cares about

[Máiiréad]

Controlling.

[danielmeegan]

Controls everything you think say do or dont do

[MusicMayhem]

He gets super defensive when you shit test him

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Jealous and always comparing himself to others.

[PinkMichae]

Jealousy is a big indicator that he is insecure.

[Cask23]

He always asks for the women's approval.

[inmensus]

The same signs women would show... 😐

[anonymous010101]

Insecure about what? Give examples

[Asker]

Dating, relationships, his body etc. he is a diabetic that wears an insulin pump. He has never took his shirt off during sex, doesn’t talk about it with me at all. He doesn’t want sex often, because diabetes causes ED he orgasms rather quickly. I have never, in 6 months even mentioned it was a problem. I am willing to accept it all. But he acts rather insecure with his emotions as well.

[Dionigi]

If he hides his emotions from you he doesn't trust you

[anonymous010101]

@Dionigi give him some time

[Asker]

@Dionigi it’s ok if he doesn’t trust me just yet. He had a bad past relationship and I have too. We both understand we are at a point where trust has to be earned not given freely. I just don’t want him to think I am judging him but I also can’t talk to him about it either without him becoming uncomfortable

[anonymous010101]

Best thing to do is just be there for him if u like him.

[murdanyc916]

signs a man is insecure... gay?

[LtJackass]

He is a self described nice guy.

[Anonymous]

He's a cuck. They're all insecure.

[OpenWine]

shiver and says nonsense

[Anonymous]

His calls him self a feminist.

[Jaredbentley]

If he has a small penis like me lol

[vald9inches]

Small wee wee

[MelaninDoll]

You're childish 😂😂😭😭 I love it ❤❤

[Asker]

Definitely not the problem

[vald9inches]

Hahaha thanks 😂😂😂

[animus1988]

Is less than 5'9

[_乃尺OЩ刀_TITI]

low sperm count

[avacarolyn]

egotistical

[MikeTheGreek79]

A guy shows off.

[Anonymous]

I don't know