This is him!!
Yeah, this is either or a combination of:AnxietyInsecurityIntroversionNervousness
Now to figure out which one!
I'd have to know him personally to make a good decision but introvesion and nervousness are what I would be thinking.
Here is the rundown- we met online (I know I know) we talked and talked then finally met. He was a HUGE flirt and the sweetest most open guy ever! He stayed that way. Then when it kinda got a little serious with meeting each other’s kids and families and started spending the night with each other he closed up. Like closed COMPLETELY! He says he has a hard time expressing his emotions and for me to be patient. I have been because he is a really good guy other than the no validation and affection. I get a goodbye kiss and IF IM LUCKY he will initiate sex once a week. I get random slaps on the ass but that’s it. I just don’t know how in the beginning he was soooo open and flirty and now there is a 10ft wall it seems. But he drops hints about me moving in, including what I want in his new house and asks my opinion on everything. I just don’t know.
Maybe he has problems with either your family or children.If he has feelings for you but would struggle to get along with your family that may be why he is closing up.
Oh no! He encourages me to be with them. They get along great! He actually talks to them as much as I do. And he adores my daughter. I’m just confused 🤷♀️
He didn’t do that. He waited. He also told me when I was ready to make the move
Ok... In what area do you feel he is insecure?
Emotions and possibly his body. But god I don’t know why! His body is great! I have told him that a hundred times. He does have an insulin pump he tries to hide so he leaves his shirt on during sex. The size of his manhood isn’t a problem. So mainly with his emotions and opening up. Thing is I just want him to open one time so I know how he feels about me. I’m not asking for a lot at all.
How does he treat you, does he show you he cares? Maybe encourage him when he makes you feel beautiful or cared for and see his response. He may slip out an, I love you... Who knows. Lol
He has never complimented me! Nothing I’ve cooked, nothing I have worn nothing! All I have noticed was how he stares at me when he is sitting across from me. Plus he always has eye contact. He shows he cares, I think. He is involved with my daughter. He has been there with me to lawyers (custody) he pays attention to little details, then surprises me with little things. It’s always, where I want to eat, where I want to go etc
He is so into you but feels like if he says anything he will regret it bc you'll ultimately leave him regardless. He may be guarded not just insecure. Be gentle and thank him with the little details. The bigger picture will come into focus.
Thank you!!! I’m not going to give up on him, he is such a great guy! I just didn’t want to be hurt again. What you said seems accurate. I really needed this!
Np, patience to weather the storm of his emotions when he does let them flow over you. Careful what you ask for.. Lol. Remember behind every great man is an even great woman who loves his sorry ass.
This is true!! I’m in it for the long haul so he will eventually realize I love his crazy ass unconditionally
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The secret is to find a GOOD man, not a NICE guy. 😉
And focus on trying to be a woman that a MAN NEEDS, not a woman that NEEDS A MAN 😉
LOL i always see those with trucks like that as making up for their shortcomings in the bedroom if you get my meaning.
You must be talking from experience, that's WAY too detailed.
I'm just thorough
thaaaaats myyyyyy guyyyy LOL
Yes this makes sense.
i would add that embellishment and lying will be common in someone with low self esteem
Were you looking for a relationship when you met her?
No.. I was also on a downward spiral..
How did you meet her and how did you let her into your life at that time? What made you trust her?
Honestly I was depressed. Very close to suicide so letting someone into my life i reasoned was better than death.. and i met her at a shine down concert
I’m glad you found her Did she just approach you?
@VIVANT We sat next to each other at the concert.. We had conversations, It started snowing really hard, and she didn't feel comfortable driving 4 hours in the snow so i invited her to crash in my bed while i took the couch.
Wow that’s really romantic actually 😊Not that It need to be, it’s just a nice story
@VIVANT Thanks!! i kind of lucked out with her... by the way i didn't sleep on my couch, she insisted is share the bed with her.
Did you guys just sleep or did it go behind lol
@VIVANT Nothing happened that night.. It didn't feel right plus i felt like it would be taking advantage of her. the next time she came over though thats a different matter lol.
Lol well it wouldn’t be taking advantage if she wanted to but it’s sweet that way and I guess you guys got your Chance after
I’m sure she wanted to but also was attracted to the fact you didn’t try -yet lol
I guess it’s awkward bc she relies on being there so sex could feel manipulative even if it wasn’t if it was mutual or had been
@VIVANT She definitely wanted it... I had only just met her, and i told her it wasn't right. She was not upset thankfully (i have had that reaction from others before)
I forgot the main thing. Weak eye contact, shoulders held up instead of back. Body shrinking. Arms folded across their body. Legs crossed over one another when standing (not always) this one is iffy, but usually consistent.
I would never hurt him and I understand how it’s hard because yes, I was hurt in a past relationship. That’s why I need validation and affection to feel like I’m wanted. But he shuts down! I don’t even get a hand hold or a cuddle while sitting on the couch or his arm around me. A goodbye kiss and sex maybe once a week is all I get. I have tried to pull away thinking he needed space but wouldn’t ask and when I would pull away he thought I was playing games. We practically live together and I would try and spend a night or 2 at my place just to give him space and he was like whyyy? Stay here. So apparently he doesn’t want space.
No it seems pretty clear he doesn't want space and the lack of affection concerns me. How does he act when he does show some affection is it fluid or does he fumble. Because if he fumbles the would suggest to me he's just not comfortable showing affection for whatever reason. But if he's fluid in it then that tells me he just doesn't want to and either he doesn't get that you need it or doesn't care.
He is pretty much fluid with it. The kiss goodbyes is actually as much as I have gotten besides sex so really I can’t tell which way he is with it. Sex is great, he gets into it with emotion a little. The goodbye kisses are great. He looks me in my eyes until his lips touch mine and it’s just sweet! But that’s really all the affection I have gotten. I have stressed the importance to him many times and he says he is trying but it’s been 2 months and no change
Nicely put 😊
Lmfao if he needs to ask then the answer is no!
I don’t mind having sex with him! I love it! But I have to initiate it everytime
Your comment sounds dumb but it's actually pretty true.
@MelaninDoll It is 100% true all my friends were antigay until gay rights became the in thing now they support same sex marriage but if you count how many times they said faggot in their lives you can see they only support liberal agendas because they want to be liked and even moreso they want girls to like them.
That’s the thing he has had girls messaging him and tons want to date him but he doesn’t seem to just settle. He told me he wanted a family life and when he found out that’s what I wanted we clicked.
That's called being self righteous which is kinda the opposite of insecure
I hate all you listed above too. But the guy who are insecure and compensate for it seem to do much better than introverted insecure guys.
This is the best answer I've read in this whole thread
Dating, relationships, his body etc. he is a diabetic that wears an insulin pump. He has never took his shirt off during sex, doesn’t talk about it with me at all. He doesn’t want sex often, because diabetes causes ED he orgasms rather quickly. I have never, in 6 months even mentioned it was a problem. I am willing to accept it all. But he acts rather insecure with his emotions as well.
If he hides his emotions from you he doesn't trust you
@Dionigi give him some time
@Dionigi it’s ok if he doesn’t trust me just yet. He had a bad past relationship and I have too. We both understand we are at a point where trust has to be earned not given freely. I just don’t want him to think I am judging him but I also can’t talk to him about it either without him becoming uncomfortable
Best thing to do is just be there for him if u like him.
You're childish 😂😂😭😭 I love it ❤❤
Definitely not the problem
Hahaha thanks 😂😂😂