Told my boyfriend his sick is small. Now I feel horrible. How do I convince him I don't care?

[Anonymous]

My boyfriend has a very small dick but I don't care n I am satisfied with him but he is extremely insecure about it. He is obsessed with it n constantly asking me if I think it's small n after 2 years of trying to convince him it's fine I got frustrated and told him the truth that it's small n now I feel bad. How do I convince him I don't care about his size? Has anyone else been in situation like this. How do I get him to stop obsessing n get over his insecurities?

[Anonymous]

It sounds like he knew it was small all along, but needed you to verify it and needed you to be honest about it. But like many things in life that we ask, we don't always like the answer, and it's extremely likely he didn't like the answer. No guy wants to hear his dick is small. But if you don't want the answer, don't ask the question. I used to think my dick was small, and I hated the idea. It affected my self image. It was a little later, before I got accurate information, and found that I was actually larger than average. But when I got beyond my teens, I found that in reality, it's not the size of the dick, but how you use it that is most important. So talk to him. Have a serious sit down talk with him. Tell him that you love him, and that just like not all girls have the just right size boobs, or the just right size ass or hips, not all guys have the just right size dick. But we can all make use of what we have, and have a lot of sexual fun. And what really makes a man is what he is like, not what is body is like. It will probably take time before he will be able to really work through this, but he can, if he chooses. Take extra time to pay attention to his dick. Sometimes when he comes in, not just at bed time or whatever, just reach down and put your hand inside his pants. Play with his dick, suck it, act like you like it, because you do. Do that with some frequency, and he will mostly get over his concern about dick size.

[Celtero]

I mean, if it was really that bad you'd find someone else. No point in pretending it's big if it's like 4 inches. Tell him some bullshit like "it's more important who the dick is connected to."

[Anonymous]

Your fault. Now tell him that you're happy with him no matter what size he has. Because you really love him the way he is. Having big d*** doesn't define your love to him. But his heart makes you melt.

[Angel_Devil]

Tell him exactly that, tell him u love him and his size doesn't matter to u

[Anonymous]

Tell him to chill its not like you told him his dick is like an ant’s dick

[Asker]

Well it act is really tiny but I didn't say that.

[Anonymous]

Uh there is like 90% he is going to jump off a really high bridge you fucked up, haha start calling him tic tac

[Victor1212]

Ask him to buy a dick sleeve for enhancement the length and grith of his D.

[aarav69]

Now he might lose confidence in performance

[abc3643]

You don't. Move on.

[abc3643]

I'm serious.
He ___may___ get over it enough and be OK with you if you show him you love him, etc., and that his little party hot dog is good enough.

However, you crossed a major line - like destroying the Twin Towers on 9/11. Like the Twin Towers, sure, another single taller building was eventually built, but it's still not the Twin Towers and that can't be undone. And you're words can't be unsaid.

I want to be clear here because this is a teachable moment:
It is critical for males to think they can "win" - be the best in something. It doesn't matter what that something is and it doesn't matter even if they themselves know they aren't the best. But they need to believe that they could be the best and that, most of all, he hopes you think he's the best. Once you tell him, "you're not the best", then he can't "win". That is demoralizing for a male. Once a male realizes that he is involved in a lost cause, he disengages from caring about it. It is a necessary male survival mechanism courtesy of evolution.

And that's what you did.

You told him "You're not the best".
No matter how many times you implicitly say "You're good enough.", it doesn't matter. He's not the best. He can't win. He can't come in 1st place. He can't be the best - ever. So, emotionally, he disengages.

It takes a really mature guy to handle that and, frankly, it is extremely difficult even for the most mature men. Many men never reach that level of maturity. President Idiot is a perfect example of that.

So, bottomline, do not be surprised if your boyfriend begins to withdraw from you and your relationship dies.

That said, I am optimistic for you. You've been together for two years and he will rationalize that he has been "good enough" and that he has not fundamentally changed and, surely he knew he wasn't going to be a porn star anyway... So, he's got a lot invested in his relationship with you and you may whether this crisis.

(more)

[abc3643]

But, still, no matter what happens with your boyfriend, master what I have told you.
If you do not, your reactionary exasperated mouth is going to destroy future relationships with men.

But I want to be clear about one final thing:
Women often say we men have fragile egos about things like penis size.
That's not really the case. It's that we need to have that belief that we can be the best... that we can win. Without it, we are dying inside.

[abc3643]

Please keep us informed...
I'd like to know how this situation turns out for you in, say, a month or two.

[MrSaint]

sick or dick?