One of my friends is this amazing really sweet, charismatic, and handsome single guy (picture below). I met him 4 years ago through a mutual friend and we very quickly became close. He is very eccentric at times, but overall a lot of fun to be around and very courteous and respectful towards my family. He is also very well off financially (his own business) and really from every angle seems like the type of guy that you want to start a family with. He also finds me attractive, appreciates my quirkiness, and shares in my visions for a future.
We have talked in the past of stuff like what type of things are you looking for in a dating partner. And one of the things that consistently came up, and i thought was a joke until recently, is that whomever he would date... he wanted her to open to adapting a BAREFOOT LIFESTYLE!!! Meaning he wants her to be barefoot all the time (completely... like no flip flops even in public), except when it is absolutely unavoidable (ex: work, or stores/restaurants that have requirements).
And this is really where I am torn. On the other hand, I love everything else about this guy... and would really like to get to see where this goes because I could see myself having a future with him. He treats me well and i really like him. On the other hand, this is kinda weird to me. Not instant deal-breaker, but something that i have to pause and really think about.
So i wanted to ask the opinion of you ladies...if you were presented with a similar scenario--- Where you love everything about the guy and really could see him being the one... but he wanted you to adapt a barefoot lifestyle, would you do it? Or would you at least consider it?
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I haven't 100% decided yet. But I am leaning towards at least trying the barefoot lifestyle for him and seeing how it goes. I would love to make him happy and for it to work between us. But I don't know it's still a strange situation.
Have any of you ladies been in this situation before---where your boyfriend/husband wanted you to adapt a barefoot lifestyle? If so, what did you do? And if not, what would you do if you were in my situation?
Girls, Would you consider adapting a barefoot lifestyle to date this really amazing guy?
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We have a family like that in my city. About 14 years ago I took my daughter to some homeschool classes at a local gym. That family was one of the families who came to the classes and hung out afterwards. I see them on and off around town. The older kids now have started having kids and they are barefoot everywhere I see them. They probably aren't in the few winter months we have in Texas. They are definitely are what used to be classified as hippie types.
When I was growing up we didn't wear shoes in the house and in the summers most of the time outside we didn't wear shoes on our property except in the woods but when we left we wore shoes. My mom grew up poor on a farm in Michigan and went barefoot all summer except to go to town or church.
I prefer being barefoot but I couldn't do it as a lifestyle because there is too much to step on out in the real world that can do some real damage. I don't have a problem with the lifestyle but couldn't do it long term unless I never left my property and I live in the country with some soft grass.
That almost sounds completely made up and ridiculous. (But it's a thing?) Ignoring the fact that I love my toes sucked, and I love walking around in my favorite flats all day just so I can get my toes sucked at the end of it, I wouldn't even do that just due to basic comfort. Could you imagine walking on gravel? And ew my feet would be so gross. Plus, that's a little controlling don'tcha think?
I thought the same thing initially! But supposedly it is a thing and many people do it. Especially like in New Zealand... yea i actually looked this up to see if its a thing or if he was just weird. He doesn't want to suck toes or anything and is okay with me carrying a pair of shoes (flip flops preferred lol) for places where its really dirty or dangerous or uncomfortable. But would prefer if i tried barefoot first.
I've known him for years... and he isn't really controlling for the most part... but this i know has been a want for him. At first i thought it was a joke, but now i know it to be a real thing. If you were in my situation, and had a semi-out with carrying shoes with u, would u at least try it or reach some compromise to make him happy... or just refuse it all together?
I just think women's feet is a turn-on for him. And he is fond of the barefoot lifestyle. Like he isn't so rigid that he'd get angry or something if in a given situation I wanted to wear shoes bc the road was uncomfortable or for some other reason. Just know that he would like for me to be barefoot as much as possible (even outside).
Other than the fact that it is socially awkward and possibly stepping on something, that is what worries me the most. Which is why, even though im leaning towards giving it a try, i still haven't committed to it. I need to make sure im okay with it before i decide to give it a try
You know I don't think going barefoot is something that a partner can mandate. Some people have really sensitive feet and others just don't want to do it. I walked barefoot a lot as a kid around my yard and even toughened my feet up by walking down our small stone driveway at the beginning of the summer so I could do a lot of barefoot walking. But I wouldn't walk around most of the city without shoes. It would be too hot in the summer and there is too much crap on the ground that could cause some really bad infections. I don't even wear my shoes in the house. I just drop my shoes at the door.
Personally I don’t think I could do it. If you really want to be with him I guess you could always try it and see if it’s something you can see yourself doing all the time. There’s no harm in trying. If you like it awesome, if not then you can always tell him that you love him so you tried for him but it’s not something you like and if he loves you he will appreciate that you gave it a shot and will respect your decision not to.
I know you said that you probably couldn't. But would you give it a try, if he was willing to compromise? Like he said he is ok with me carrying my shoes with me and wearing them if it is a dangerous/uncomfortable area, or where shoes are required. Honestly im still torn, thinking of giving it a try... but not sure. Would you give it a try, as you recommend?
If I had really strong feelings for him I would give it a shot. I personally hate feet so i know I wouldn't be able to stick with it but I would want to prove to him that I did try. So maybe if you really don't want to do it then just do it once in front of him so he can see you put in the effort.
This is why you need to learn about each other fetish first! I mean if a guy wanted to date me and wanted to suck my feet for the rest of my life. EW, or be barefoot Also no. I can do cosplay to some extent but not if he into babies dress up or some BSDM. I know that would be awkward to bring up but I don't want live my whole life with someone who wants those things. That literally, I would force myself to do. Regardless if you want him sure but I am the type that just wants to sit around and get fat.
I would do that when we're alone, but wouldn't even consider it in public. In most places, that's not even allowed. That's way too impractical. Cold in wintertime and hot to walk on pavement in summertime.
No I walk like 4 miles I can't do that... to my feet. It's different if I was walking on grass or soil but a solid pavement doesn't feel great especially if it snows or is hot.
Here's the thing. Would he force you? As in, if you say no, I want to wear shoes today, is he gonna get angry or sulky, is he gonna be unhappy and dump you? If yes, this is a major red flag. Don't get with him. What is the actual reason?
I believe that he just likes the way women's feet look. It is a huge turn-on for him. He hasn't forced anything upon me. We aren't officially dating yet... but it is no secret that we both like each other. And i have known for years that it has been a strong desire of his to date someone willing to at least try, if not adapt a barefoot lifestyle. I mean when i have talked to him in the past about this topic indirectly... he has indicated that he wouldn't mind if his girlfriend carried shoes with her... in case it was uncomfortable in a certain situation. But overall his preference is that she try to be barefoot as much as possible (including outside). So i know he'd love it if i tried or adapted this style.
If you were in my situation, would u give it a try or not?
I would wear shoes when I wanted, but if I didn't feel I wanted to, I'd be fine with taking them off as I also prefer no shoes, but I'm not stupid enoughh to do it for a man's foot fetish. What I'm asking is you need to make sure he won't be the controlling type that wouldn't date you just cause of a foot fetish.
I've known him for years... i don't get the impression that he is the controlling type. Just that this is a great desire for him. Like it would make him super happy if whomever he dated, would agree. He kinda really wants this... at least once every few days.
Controlling traits don't pop up for friends, usually. Because it's not the friends they want to control. And there's lesser extent of it, such as acting sulky and unhappy if you don't do what they ask for, but don't actually say they want you to. It's emotional manipulation. In any case, there's no harm in trying to date him as of now, since we cannot know if that's the case now. But as soon as you notice you're being made to feel guilty for wearing shoes or something like that, end the relationship. Trust me. It's not normal nor something a kind person would do.
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