I'm a 28 year old male graduate student and am far more interested in dating undergrads then women my own age. Maturity has more to do with the individual then their physical age. I know 30 somethings that are less mature than some 18 year olds.
For me personally I see myself more attracted to younger women for a number of reasons:
1- I didn't have much of an opportunity to do much dating when I was an undergrad and worked for several years afterward in the middle of nowhere, so I feel my real dating life is just beginning. For a guy I think that's okay, and I want to date quite a few women before settling down so I know I've explored my options before committing long term. I would hate to rush into marriage and need a divorce. Girls that are around my age are past that point and are only looking for the one. It's unfortunately not compatible with my needs. I need someone open minded, not so exhausted from past relationships.
2- I am also more physically attracted to say a 20 year old then a 30 year old girl. That just happens to be the case. I also figure, the girl will get older anyway, so if it's LT I'll get to experience her at different ages.
3- Not looking to have children anytime soon and women have a clock for this...
4- I like to go out clubbing and dancing, party, etc... women my age say they're past that stage. I spent my early to mid 20's working like some kind of 40 something, so I feel I need to go back and have the the fun I missed.
5- Studies show relationships where the woman is a little more than 5 year younger than the guy last the longest.
I'm friends with plenty of people in their 20's, 30's and 40's of both sexes and get along with them great, but I feel undergrads are of most interest to me from a dating perspective (of course I'll consider women that have already graduated as well, but my point is I feel more comfortable if they are younger). I think a lot of my friends including guys and girls think this is perfectly normal but some are a little judgmental. I do have to say most girls my age are adamantly opposed to going to clubs or bars with lots of undergrads, but not all of them. I think it's a little unfortunate they feel that way. Yes I feel some undergrads, especially the Freshman can be annoying but I can't fault anyone based solely on their age.
Well, I'm a male grad student.
I would date an undergrad. In fact, I have to look at the undergrad population, because there aren't that many grad students comparatively and most are either married or in long-term relationships. Seriously, like in my research group alone, I'm the only single guy.
Maturity isn't just a factor of age. I've seen girls who are older than me who I don't think are that mature.
The only real big "conflict of interest" issue is if the guy is your TA and grades your work. I don't think it's a really big issue though if you're not trying to just use him to get a better grade, because often times people fall in situations where they're grading the class that a friend is taking, and the possibility of favoritism is no less of a risk there.
To be on the safe side, the guy can always ask someone else to grade your work too. There is usually more than one grader for a course, and even if there isn't, it's usually not hard to find somebody. That pretty much clears up any ethical questions.
I've dated older guys, when it wasn't even legal, cause I was a minor and he treated me like a princess, I've never felt that comfortable, and he never called me immature...
I'm sure it happens all the time. If he judges your maturity based on the fact that you're an undergrad student... he's not worth it.
An older guy is gonna think: a younger girl! She's hot!
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As a 30 year old male graduate student, I'd give an undergrad student a chance if I liked them. You do make a valid point though. I do find myself easily annoyed at undergraduates personalities. It reminds me of being in high school as a sophomore and looking at the freshmen as dumb kids. However, in hindsight I also realized that used to be me and my fellow classmates.
One benefit is that guys mature much more slowly than women in my opinion. So a woman that is 18 or older may have a similar personality, goals and mindset as a 30 year old guy. The one thing to be on the lookout for is I'd categorize guys into a few categories. #1 the guy who doesn't know where he's going and has no plans. #2 the guy who is very philosophical about everything and #3 the guy who only wants sex. See how I created different categories. However, there are more, but that just simplifies it to give you an idea.
Just talk, be honest and open about your expectations going into the relationship. He may be mature and want you to move in with him or he may still need time to settle and finish his school and will want to live with his parents or friends. Honestly though, if you're honest and you both want the same things then go for it. If it's just for fun, be honest and if you want something serious, set a timeline and be honest about what you want. The only way you'll get hurt is by wanting him to do or stop something and not say anything. The analogy I think of is I used to tell my mom I loved all of her cooking, then one day she made a dish I found gross and I couldn't eat it because it made me want to throw up. So after she made it 3 more times I finally told her I couldn't eat it because, blah blah balh, you know. The point is, be honest and make time to talk about what you both want. If there are some differences, don't worry. First see if they can be worked out and if not, move on.
Sorry for the long detailed post, but just talk. That's my advice. XD Good luck.
When I was a grad student, there were definitely undergrads I'd have liked to date. The problem was that the only place I really met undergrads was in my classes (which I TAed or lectured). Because of the risks of the appearance of abusing a position of power I could never ask any of them out. If one would have asked ME out, I'd have done it right after grades were in. Unfortunately, girls don't tend to ask guys out in general, so that never happened.
Bottom line, there's a LOT of risk for a grad student to ask out one of his students, but no real downside if an undergrad asks out a grad student.
If he cares about you then who cares about grad or undergrad schools. Love will always bridge the gap. You should definitely go for it because if you don't; you will always wonder if you did. Goodluck!
I've seen it before, though it may be frowned on in some departments.
of course they would. girls over-think things. stop it! lol
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