Iit bad to be concerned that my boyfriend is only 5.7 feet (I'm 5.3) ?

[Anonymous]

Updates

+1 y

I'm 5.3 Feet

[lightbulb27]

why are you concerned? He's not going to grow anymore into one of those 5'8" "freak shows". you know... people who have to buy houses with 9ft ceilings because they are too tall, or bump their heads on stuff and blame you for it.

No... I wouldn't worry.

or maybe you are worried about something else...

[Asker]

I feel like he is short for an adult guy 23, although he's taller than me. I don't know, am I being too superficial?

[lightbulb27]

I'm 5'7 on a good day but to be honest more like 5'6, so I'm not the best judge:)
Attraction is real and there are reasons for your attraction, there's nothing wrong with your preferences.
But if you have some... fear or whatever, maybe explore why... it may be irrational.

Guys have the same problems... in different ways. All this stuff is baked somewhre into our minds from a 1000 years ago as to what is a good mate, I suspect.

To me... it is not so relevant.. height alone. I'm not drawn to real short girls though, not attractive... I don't want midget kids... and they are usually quite feisty:) 5'3 is good, < 5ft not.

Napoleon was 5'7... he did ok, well... he lost the war, but ya know... caused a bit of a rucus. Yul Brynner was only 5'8. Bruce lee 5'7. So he's in good company... it's your call:)

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice 😊

[abc3643]

There is no "bad" or "good" on this.
You have whatever height preferences that you have and that's it.
End of story.
No one else's opinion mattersn not even mine.

[abc3643]

Why are you bothered by your boyfriend being "short" at 5 ft 7 in?

Is it your innate preference that he be taller or that you are botheted by his being "shorter than average" or is it that you are bothered by what other people will think?

[Asker]

Actually a bit of both...

[Asker]

What others would think and that he's shorter than average

[abc3643]

What others think is irrelevant.
That's what a child worries about.
Adults don't give a shit what others think as long as those others aren't the boss, the spouse, or the kids.

Why does his being "shorter than average" matter?
What if you didn't know the average?
What if his height is actually above average as may be in some societies?

I think you need to be honest with yourself and get to the root cause of why his height is bothering you. This will teach you a lot about yourself and that is one of the goals in life.

[Asker]

Thank you for your wise opinion , you are right !

[msc545]

I hope he breaks up with you. You are one shallow, worthless bitch.

[abc3643]

@msc545
No she's not.
We all have things that we biologically react to.

For instance, I hate cauliflower.
It doesn't make me shallow that I don't want cauliflower in my meals.

Well, the same is true about mate choice.

If someone rejects a potential mate because of others unspoken opinions, then that person has a certain mental weakness, but doesn't make them shallow.

If someone rejects a potential mate over something superficial, that may indicate the person is shallow.

However, if someone rejects a potential mate because of something deep down inside - like the way I hate cauliflower - then that is a simple biological reaction.

... and this is my point of my telling this young lady that she needs to come to the root cause of why she doesn't like her boyfriend being 5' 7".

In interests of disclosure, I WAS 5' 7" tall, but have shrunk with age. When doctors last measured me, I was 5' 5.5" tall. Now, if this young lady rejected me because I am too short for her innate desires, then I can accept it, just like I might reject her from some physical or personality feature. However, if she rejects me because of how she thinks we may look together and how others will react, then I'd feel bad for her emotional immaturity and weakness. Again, I wouldn't feel all that bad though because such a woman is not one I'd want to be with.

Anyway, at the end of the day, we really don't want to be with someone who doesn't want to be with us, no matter what the reason.

@asker I wish you well young lady and you are welcome to PM me if you want to explore this further.

[Asker]

@msc545 says a lot about you since to don't even know me as a person

[Asker]

Thank you, I didn't notice my boyfriends hight till a few people pointed it out. We actually talked about last night and we realised that we love each other regardless of what other people think. And I apologised if i had upset him or made him feel bad

[abc3643]

Congrats young lady. This is all part of growing in a relationship. I wouldn't be surprised if my mom felt the same way about my dad. She dumped him once, but came back and married him.

If you need reassurance, there are plenty of websites about the benefits of dating shorter men - even men shorter than the woman.

For example, here's a 2012 article from Glamour magazine titled "7 Good Reasons to Date a Short Guy - Don't blow a guy off just because he's a shorty.."
www.glamour.com/.../7-good-reasons-to-date-a-short

(more)

[abc3643]

1. "Handsome" doesn't have a height requirement. Seriously, a good face and hot body looks just as good at 5'7" as it does at 6'3".

2. Maybe you're not a supermodel, but you'll certainly get to feel like one when you go out with him in heels.

3. A short guy willing to go out with a girl who's taller than he is is confident and probably ok with his girlfriend upstaging him. He's not too hung up on appearance or machismo. This is a good quality to have in a boyfriend.

4. Uhm, you say Napoleon Complex like it's a bad thing? Guys with Napoleon complexes are ambitious, capable and driven: they also have learned how to command respect through means other than appearance, all admirable traits. And as for Napoleon himself, well, you know he was sexy as hell, right?

5. And speaking of overcompensating: this is by no means scientific, but the general consensus from women seems to be that guys who don't necessarily feel the most attractive will often work much harder in bed, whereas the Don Drapers of the world, who are used to being wanted and pursued by women, focus more on the act of receiving pleasure than giving it.

6. Being willing to date a shorter gentleman widely opens up your dating pool. Putting height requirements on your list of potential romantic partners simply means fewer potential bachelors.

7. The best reason to date a short guy is because you're not a shallow, regressive woman who associates sexual and emotional compatibility with whether or not the guy is a few inches taller, and because you don't equate your own femininity and sexuality with the notion of being shorter, weaker, than your protective mate. It's 2012! You have higher (but not taller!) standards now.

Date the guy who makes you laugh, who likes the same stuff you do, who will be there for you, whether or not you have to bend down a little to kiss him. Once you fall in love, you're not going to care.

[abc3643]

I want to congratulate you in a different way.
The fact that you asked this question and grew as a person from exploring its answer is indicative of both maturing and recognizing that each of us doesn't have all the answers... that part of becoming a better person is constant introspection and wondering who we are and why we are like that. It really does make you a better person and, in the coming years, you will fully understand what I am trying to say.

[Asker]

Thank you so much again 😃

[Jooying]

You two are in a perfect height match in my opinion. I don’t see there’s any problem with it. If you have concern on this, why get with him at the first place?

[AzureGirl]

I don’t understand why that would be something to be concerned about.

[Jean-Marie_Céline]

It means that the attraction is already fading.

[randamonious]

If you believe height, weight, or anything of that nature determines the quality of a human's soul then you should do some serious soul searching. Behaving in such a superficial way is what leads to one night stands, unhappy relationships built on nothing but attraction instead of connection, and a very lonely middle aged life. Protip: pay attention to whats on the inside and whats on the outside will never matter.

[Browneye57]

Tell us why YOU have a concern. Do you think he's going to shrink? Or that he has a short dick too?

[msc545]

I'm concerned that my SO weighs 112 pounds and according to the chart I've consulted she is supposed to weigh 110. (/sarcasm)

[Anonymous]

Dump him. At that height, there's no way he's a good man.

[CuriousMufuxka]

It's only 4 inches. That's like the perfect lean up to kiss height ratio!

[Plitty-Tank]

Not at all. You'd rather have him over me, right? I'm just 5'4"

[Thieuphunglam]

He is taller than you.

[Anonymous]

Why does height matter at all?

[Nahid1707]

You are what height? And no that’s fine

[walter1970]

Nothing wrong with that

[Anonymous]

Why should his height matter?

[Morgan8823]

Im 6ft4