My boyfriend is self-conscious about his height- what should I do?

[Anonymous]

It really doesn’t bother me at all that he’s shorter than me (I’m 5’10” and I think he’s like 5’5”),
But whenever he apologizes for being shorter, it just makes me feel bad that he seems to be uncomfortable... what should I do?

[BS123456]

I'm 5'6" although I was at one time 5'9" before breaking several vertebrae while diving. I feel for him in a world that seems to idolize the tall man and I commend you for your own standards and not bending to the stereotype of the socially acceptable which is exactly the problem. People cannot alter the way their body is when it comes to height any more than Rachel Dolezal can make her heritage black and this becomes sensitive to those persecuted for their height. Tell him in a direct way how his height is of no concern to you and you don't want to hear another word about this. The more he talks about this the more he is conscious of this. Make a light joke of it telling him he's the perfect height as he can bury his head right in your breasts while standing and you love this. Have one last conversation about the positive aspects of his height and then say no more about it. That's it.

[Bjorn526]

The only thing you can do, dealing with your SO’s insecurities about their appearance, is simply have a real heart-to-heart genuine talk, just say “look, I’ve noticed you do this and that, and it’s obvious you have insecurities about XYZ, but because you bring it up to me, makes me think you don’t know me as well as I would like you to know me, because you are assuming I have a problem with your height, and I don’t, so I want you to know, I wouldn’t change your height even if I had the option, I like you just as you are, do you understand how I feel?”
Just like that

[MimiHashima]

why not show him that you accept/appreciate him for how he is, whom he is, and his efforts in what he does, carefully so he knows that it’s not something a problem or anything to be concerned about, that you see him as more than a man, and show it through your actions to boost and give him that confidence. Maybe within some of that time he won’t notice it anymore or as often and that he’s loved for him being him. Maybe even mention things he has done for you and what you’ve done for each other. Encouraging & supportive. Just things that ran through my head..

[Pizza_lover159]

Tell him he isn't that short. I felt the same when i first met my boyfriend. He is 6" , while I am 4"11'. And people look at us like he is a phedophile and I am a child. But he is just 6 months older than me.

Tell him you find his height hot , he probably thinks that you will be happier with someone taller of a tall guy will steal you. Talk to him about that.

[abc3643]

Show him a typical "Why dating shorter men is good." article.

For instance...

7 Reasons You Should Date Guys Who Are Shorter Than You
www.cosmopolitan.com/.../

8 Legit Reasons Short Guys Make The BEST Husbands
www.yourtango.com/.../dating-love-reasons-date-short-man

[Benedek38]

Don'tdo that. That sounds like she needs justification for dating him. That's even worse than not saying anything.

[abc3643]

@Benedek38 Yes, justification is not what she needs. It's what HE needs.

[abc3643]

That said, @asker, he also needs to know that you are not dating him BECAUSE he is shorter than you (DON'T say he is short - he knows that already).

Just let him know the following:
1. You are happy with him the way he is.
2. Generally, dating guys taller than the woman is overrated.
3. Generally, dating guys less tall (don't say "shorter") than the woman is underrated.
4. There are plenty of couples - famous couples even - in which the woman is taller than the man.

[Benedek38]

Don't try to think with the head of an insecure person. You show them proof they are needed, and they will think "So this is all I am good for?".

[abc3643]

@Benedek38 Apparently you haven't raised kids.

[Benedek38]

If you are comparing your sexual partner with a child, you have bigger problems than height.

[Winterlady]

@Benedek38 lmao

[abc3643]

@Benedek38 Nice comeback! LOL. Of course not, but people of every age sometimes need reassurance. You will learn this if/when you, get out into the white-collar working world. Performance reviews aren't just for management for rating employees but also a way to communicate to employees what they are doing right (thus, reassurance) and what they can improve upon.

[Benedek38]

I'm not an idiot, I know you have to provide reassurrance if you want to keep morals high. But this is a relationship, not a job. He isn't working for her, they are supposed to be equal. If she starts comforting him about his shortcomings, he will get a bad impression. He is not a lazy minion who has to be a busy minion. He is a depressed boyfriend, who has to be a strong and confident boyfriend.
The solution:
"Man the fuck up. I certainly don't care about your height, and you shouldn't either. I care about you being witty and funny, and being able to make me scream in bed. Focus on that!"
End of story.

[abc3643]

@Benedek38 The School, of Hatd Knocks will have a diploma for you in 30 years.

[itsme123456789]

As a guy who is shorter than your man, I totally get it, however if you remind him why you love him, and where possible make him feel big, not in the rude sense either, just things like when you lie down together cuddle into his chest etc, failing that boobs in the face works too lol

[Cartouk]

Call him Napoleon and help him conquer France and most of western Europe, or suck his dick every night he won't give a shit bout his height, or both if you're truly awesome.

[markscott]

Give him time. Though he may never get over it entirely, he can learn to much more comfortable, and to realize that the height doesn't make the man, but the man makes the height.

[JatinBansal]

I am also self conscious about my height because my girlfriend is tall. She's 5'10 too.

[Asker]

I don’t know how to say this without being awkward, but basically, what would you want to hear to feel less self conscious? If anything?

[JatinBansal]

She once told me that she likes tall guys who are 6'1 or 6'2. We were friends then but later when we get in a relationship, it sometimes hit me that I am not tall enough. I am 5'11 and I know I am tall for many girls out there but what my girl thinks matter more for me. I don't showcase that I feel vulnerable or self conscious about my height just because of her one statement which she said months ago.

[JatinBansal]

I won't want to hear more talk on ideal heights for men if I were him but he should understand as well that you like him because of other things as well and as an overall person. Confidence wins every woman out there so try to make him confident. I don't know how you can do it but that's what you need to do.

[Asker]

If you’re 5’11” and she made a comment about liking around 6’1”-6’2”, that like 2inch difference is pretty hazy just fyi

[Asker]

Thanks, I’ll try

[JatinBansal]

It seems hazy but when your partner has set some standard and you don't have that standard there's always come regret. It's illogical but normal I guess. You are absolutely correct but I do think about my height sometimes and that's why I don't talk about it with her because I know she will say the same thing.

[Asker]

That’s valid... I guess if I knew I was just going to be reassured regardless, I wouldn’t want to bring up my insecurities...
Although in any case I guess it wouldn’t matter if the reassurance was true or not because he loves me nonetheless... sorry this is probably borderline rambling at this point (it’s like 5:30 am and I haven’t gotten sleep yet) but I think that’s what I’m talking away from this...

[JatinBansal]

The good thing about relationships is that the other person don't care much about our looks or habits. He or she obviously want us to stay fit but when it comes to issues like height or being a person of color or of some nationality than you cannot uproot those insecurities with a talk. I am Indian and my girlfriend is American. We both are in a long distance relationship. I always think of how I would be perceived by her friends and her family because in my mind I used to think Indians are considered attractive there in US but she likes me for who I am so I don't think much about me being an Indian guy with accent anyway I am better than Apu for sure😂

[HereIbe]

Tell him to stop. Tell him he's hot and makes you horny JUST THE WAY HE IS. Tell him that you want him exactly like he is because it is WHO HE IS.

[Asker]

10/10, I fuck with this :)

[JonnyTrauma]

Buy him stilts or platform shoes. Hire a midget so he looks taller in comparison. Basically there's nothing he can do about his height. He needs to stop apologising and own his shit I'm short so what.

[Anon-ymous1]

He just wishes he was taller. Guys want to be taller. Even most tall guys want to be a bit taller-- I'm 6'2" and wish I was 6'4". So just be supportive of him and tell him that you like him and you two should do fine. Good luck.

[misthe]

Show him more and more that you dont care.. if this doesn't work get angry to make him understand this!!!

[sakalator]

Have a talk with him. Say that you love that he is shorter ☺️ he won't feel uncomfortable if he'll be sure that you're absolutely fine with that 🙂

[Benedek38]

Tell him to stop whining, and that you like him the way he is.

[boggboss]

There is nothing u can really do to be honest past just reassure him

[kharos]

Hug him. =) Comforting someone with love always good. Even if you don't say anything, words never will accomplish body reactions.

[TonyWilliams]

I am 5'5" and I would be self conscious of my girlfriend is taller than me. But as time will pass it will be a normal feeling and will be washed away leading to a happy mind

[light_nature]

Spend more time on your knees so you seem shorter to him

[Asker]

Worth a shot ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[MindTime]

Just say that you don't care and you value him for who he is

[Didi1337]

Reassure him where you can, and tell him/show him you dont mind

[Zly_Ass_Hippy]

Make it a positive anyway you can in every situation most definitely sexually it'll subconsciously build his ego

[Anonymous]

nothing you can do except maybe tell him your feelings and he will stop mentioning it if it makes you feel guilty

[Paradoxicfox]

Uh tell him to embrace it! He fricken can't change it can he? So roll with it bro!

[TinaSP]

Put him at horizontal

[Anonymous]

How the heck did you even date him to begin with?
He is mere 5 ft 5 ... and you are 5 ft 10
How did you even make him a bf?

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he took the short end of the stick.

[Asker]

His stick is in no way short 😏

[Opinion Owner]

😂😂😂

[vald9inches]

call him a midget lol

[Undress]

Is he Asian?

[Asker]

Nope

[WhiplashTacos]

Make him wear high heels

[Tbomb]

Tell him to stop being so insecure!

[tyronesmith]

Dump him he's probably gay if he's self conscious

[Skullpool]

Hugs :)

[seveninchmeat]

make him taller!!!

[outside_Toronto]

Tell him to stfu