I am black girl, why am I not attracted to black men?

[MartinaB]

Hi, I am 21 years old black lady. Ever since I became interested in opposite sex, I'd always been attracted to WHITE males only. I dunno why. I dated 4 guys, all of them were white. I went on a date with couple black guys, but it usually ended after first date.

I even lost a friend over this, she told me I'm bad sista, racist, who*e and I should hang out with whiteys...

I don't know what is wrong. I guess it's the way they treated me, they spoke, acted... I really wanna be a good member of our community :( Is there something wrong with me?

Updates

+1 y

Thanks for your opinions. Apart from being called "bitch for rich white dicks" I got much worse PM, but I now feel confident that nothing is wrong

[Apope16]

I am a black man who is not attracted to black women.

I believe that it is both cultural and biological. I grew up in a white family and I am attracted to white women from a cultural aspect of things. But I think it is also biological when it comes to sexual lust and desire. I think that just like a bird has different color feathers and such... humans have different biological attractions in a mate partner. It can be size of penis, or size of lips, style of hair, body structure... but it can also mean skin tone as well.

There's nothing wrong with that.

What I have done is to have sex with black women. Mainly as a friends with benefits thing. After having sex with 2 really nice black women (who were skinny with amazing boobs).. I realized that I actually do have sexual attraction to black women. I just dont see myself marrying one.

I think that if you had sex with a black man it would change your perspective. You would start to see black men you see as sexy. But from a cultural perspective I doubt it will change what you want in a long term mate.

[Tiptoeing]

I think buts deeper than you growing up in a white household... tons of black men growing up up in black households don't like black women... why do you sleep with people you aren't attracted to?

[Apope16]

@Tiptoeing There is a difference between romantic attraction and "fuckable". Women dont understand this. But even if are ugly. being deep inside a pussy feels good and could make a guy cum.

There are tons of black men like me who prefer not to be with black women because of the way that black women treat us. They treat us like we are normal. They often disrespect us. They often dont communicate and resolve issues in a respectful manner without screaming and cussing up a fuckin storm or showing attittude. fuck that shit.

A white woman is often mild mannered, polite, and she treats us like we are special and rare. A lot of white women dont see or interact with black men. So they treat us as a novelty. As something unique and sexy.

All that is cultural. I would say the 2 black women that I had sex with were women I could probably date based on their personality. I think they wanted to date me. But they just weren't my type. They were sexy and had amazing bodies though.

At the end of the day, I prefer white women because biologically that is what makes me cum hardest. The skin contrast and the societal rarity makes it special.

[Lynx122]

Nothing wrong with it, dating should be separate from identity politics. I know some people are dying to judge people for who they date but thankfully it hasn't really come to that yet at least it's not widespread but I'm sure there's people who wanna make it that way.

[Dinklex3]

Nothing is wrong with you. It happens.
I'm 26 and have only dated white guys and hispanics (hometown is small where there'd only be like 2 black people in a classroom).
I didn't intentionally look for just whites or hispanics its just that those individual men i clicked with happened to be white/hispanic.
Again, I'm 26 years old and this is my first time being with a black guy. Its only friends with benefits, but still a first for me. You could meet your soul mate in the future and he may be black, Asian, hispanic, or white. Who knows. I wouldn't stress about it 🤷‍♀️
Also, it's good to get rid of dumb people like that as friends. My friends are understanding and funny care about the skin of whomever I decide to date.

[btbc92]

Nothing is wrong with you. I think it's mostly genetic. Not always choice. I can't do it either. You friend is toxic. Just don't have her around. There is no such thing as race anyway. And a lot of people just have a lot of issues that often don't have anything to do with you anyway. I believe what it is from my perspective is that we don't act like that. So we graduate towards a culture we naturally fit in.

[wingattebaby16]

You are not a bad person for liking white men.

I am filipina/white.. my real mom was always on my ass for not dating Filipino men and Asian men.

I don't like them... When they sweat, they smell sour. They treat me like a door mat. When I have had sex, they suffer from Little Man Syndrome.

Most Filipino men don't have hairy chests and they are short.

I like tall white men with manly scent and hairy chests.

so, you are not a Traitor to your race or your sistas...

by the way, I have had 2 friends with benefits that were black. Aside from the sex, I would not date them coz of their attitude toward women and how they treated me...

by the way, I am originally from Decatur, GA and only got hit on by gangsta thugs and druggies... being called Bitch, Whore, C*nt, Cock Sucker, and being told I have a fu**able ass and mouth, doesn't go over well in making me want to date you.. "hey, baby, I bet you would look good with your nose in my pubes"...

[Daniela1982]

The same reason why black men are not attracted to black girls. And it isn't because "Once you had black you won't go back." Black girls ten, for the most part anyway, to have bodacious bods of larger than life proportions. Bur black men like white girls. Why do you think they are going after the Kardashian / Jenner girls? Look at all the black celebs who are married to white girls. And I think you want to be among them. Maybe you just need to meet a hunk like Shemar Moore of Swat.

[Tiptoeing]

You love showing that annoying picture. What's your agenda?

[Tiptoeing]

I think your inlove with that woman, to be honest lol

[Daniela1982]

@Tiptoeing Just showing why black men don't like black girls as a lot look like her.

[Lexxii747]

@tiptoeing She's jealous that non white women are taking her men now in record numbers. 😂

[Daniela1982]

@Lexxii747 Correction, they are taking the desperate white women with money like the Kardashians.

[Anonymous]

LMAO black men are the downfall of the black race. And no i'm not "bitter". Literally look at the statistics, the marital divorce rates, education, incarceration, babymama rates etc. Then you pile on top the fact they shit talk black women 24/7.
I jumped ship a looooooong time ago.
Not to mention whenever i go out with white men they're incredibly chivalrous. White guys are the only ones who have absolutely insisted on paying for me whereas black men fall short. I'm not saying "men should ALWAYS pay", but the little back and forth "no, i'll pay!" is nice. Date who you want. That girl was stupid asf.

[MarkyMark12g]

As a black guy I'm insulted! Do you really think whiteys are better then us? Who do you think you are?
You said you only dated whiteys wait until you try BBC you will see who the real men are! But if you think your pu**y is too good for blacks so be it!
I'd like to know where you live. I'm sure whites in your area are richer then blacks and that's your main reason! You wanna ride their fancy cars & hang out in their fancy homes.
Don't you dare talking about community then! You ain't part of any black community! You are bitch for rich white dudes! Enjoy their small di*ks!

[OddBeMe]

Wow, lots of anger toward whiteys. I don’t blame you but don’t get sucked into the hate so much. It’s toxic.

[MarkyMark12g]

@OddBeMe look what's happening now, man. What shall I say when the writes what she'd wrote? She's a whore for whiteys! It's simple as f*ck!

[chriscdi]

not gonna be racist but ima speak my mind, from what I've witnessed in relationships is that black men can be selfish and easy, they dont seem to take relationships seriously, now dont get me wrong, i know there's blacks that do, and I've seen blacks that do but a big majority that I've seen sleep around and dont care whos heart they break in the process, there's people like this from every race but a majority I've seen are blacks

[MasRus]

I disagree Chris. this is based off of who you know. plenty i
of black men are good men and unselfish in every aspect of their relationship.

it's based off of their upbringing and the influence around them. My father is a perfect example of what a good spouse should be. he loves respects my mother and all his kids who he puts first.

[chriscdi]

yea your father is the good ones im talking about lol, i didn't say all black men were sefish, obviously your dad is the one of the ones im excluding from my statement nicki, im talking about the teens nowadays usually, they are reckless and selfish, look for one thing only

[MasRus]

i know you didn't but you making it seem like most are. i think it seems that way based off the area you at.

cuz my high school and college and plenty of good black males

[Dinklex3]

Plenty of white and Hispanic males do the exact same thing.

[chriscdi]

yea here all they want is pussy, its like their mentors are pornstars

[chriscdi]

and yea Dink i agree but in my area i see that most are the blacks, the whites are barely noticed and hispanics are invthe middle

[Daniela1982]

Blacks from poor areas are usually the ones who have 5 children and have run out on their wife leaving her to raise the kids and with his lazy ass not paying child support. Maybe that is the guy the OP wants. I'm sure there are a lot of them available.

[chriscdi]

see she gets it 🙃

[Thatsamazing]

You like who you like and you don't like who you don't like. You just wrote "I guess it's the way they treated me, they spoke, acted" ... right. It's not someone's literal skin color that is the issue, if it was then that would be something you mentioned. If someone, regardless of skin color, doesn't treat you how you want to be treated, then the other stuff doesn't matter. Focus on that.

[Actsofashley]

Lol I’m 18 and a black girl and prefer white men. I've only dated one but I’ve noticed a lot of them. I think it’s unfair to close yourself off to just one race so I normally just say I have a preference for white men, because I’ve also seen some good looking black men as well. But yeah you can’t help who you’re attracted to , I just wouldn’t close myself off to the whole black race

[Cherokeehp]

It does sound like you’re acting like a coon. There are plenty of good handsome black men floating around. How can you claim to be a good member of our community when you think badly of our men and go seeking love exclusively from white men?

[RolandCuthbert]

Maybe it has something to do with being in the Czech Republic.

Why do you worry about being a "member of the community"? Find your own community, be a member of that one.

[Anonymous]

Everyone should be able to date who mutually is attracted to them. It's your body and it's your life, if those friends don't agree then they shouldn't be your friends anyway. Sacrificing your happiness for an illusion of inclusivity, will make you resentful towards those who pressured you into that situation to begin with.

[Poppymarie]

You’re allowed to have your preferences just like everyone else is. Date who you are attracted to; it doesn’t make you bad. You deserve to be happy.

[COMMODOREII]

There is nothing wrong with you. It just means you are not racist and you are comfortable with mixed cultures. That is the future and the right way of thinking.

[winterfox10]

Your mind may have just decided that it saw a pattern in the way the black men behave (or at least the ones you've been exposed to) and has chosen to protect itself by not associating with black men.

[OddBeMe]

Your mind certainly has become racist.

[winterfox10]

@OddBeMe my mind? In what way?

[Anonymous]

You’re asking us? It’s your own “preference”— although it’s not really a preference if you’re counting out an entire race..
don’t let your past experiences dictate how you approach people.

[AlexanderBrunnrgaard]

Your friend sounds like the real racist. You merely have a preference. Aren't we supposed to coexist as one humanity in a world without racism?

[Avicenna]

It's just your preference, nothing wrong with it, we all have preferences.

[Agem123]

No. We all have our preferences

I'm white, but have mostly dated black guys my whole life. In the beginning my mom was disgusted with the idea, now her views have changed.

[OddBeMe]

Everyone has preferences. They’re neither wrong or right. It’s just what it is. The worst you could do is go against it and be miserable.

[Random_Guy_Online]

Just date whoever you're into. The main point of dating is to form a relationship that you and your partner enjoy.

[QuietRunner]

I like black girls too

Nothing is wrong with you, it is pretty fun to be with black girls too

Don't be ashamed because you need to support your community