What are some signs that a guy is too nice to reject you?

[Anonymous]

For example, I told my guy friend that I had feelings for him, and instead of him saying if he felt the same way or not, he said, “I haven’t really been thinking of that stuff, but I’d love to see you more. And I really wanted to hangout and do a bunch of stuff with you after break” (We couldn’t hangout after break because our university closed down due to the virus).

I’m meeting up with him in 2 weeks and he’s taking me to the beach/boardwalk, explore the town, and out to eat. The issue is, he rarely keeps in contact with me (unless I text first). I don’t want to drive 4-5 hours to go see him if he can’t even bother to keep in touch with me.
*He’s very shy/reserved, and a bad communicator *

Updates

+1 y

His lack of contact makes me think that he’s not interested.
A year ago, I’d always catch him staring at me, but I never acted on it until March (we’ve been texting since then).

Updates

+1 y

Pros: tells me things like “I’ll always be here for you, you know you can always come to me, you’re a good person, I enjoy having you around.” Listens to my problems, and isn’t all about sex.

Cons: communication. Out of the 3-4 months that we’ve been “talking”, he’s only texted first about 3-4 times... he only uses Snapchat to text, instead of iMessage

[little_bird1]

Guys are TERRIBLE at rejecting, they will almost never rejected a girl, even if they don't like her at all. They will either use her for sex or befriend her or even pity date her. If you make a first move with a guy, be prepared to never know where you stand. And don't be surprised if you're dumped after 2 months. They will never flat out reject a girl, they will never be honest. Even when asked directly. Not on purpose though, it's simply because they don't know the answer themselves and they don't know how to handle rejecting someone. They are somehow convinced that indirectly offering a friendship is less painful then rejecting. It's because they are used to being the one to chase and being the one rejected. We put them in a very, very, very uncomfortable situation when it's the opposite.
Save yourself (and him) the trouble and move on. He knows how you feel, you know how he feels, the ball is in your court now. It's up to you to decide if you're okay with being just friends until maaaaybe something develops on his side, or say goodbye. If it were me I wouldn't have time nor energy to "wait" for something for so long, it's exhausting.

[little_bird1]

This guy may be perceived as "too nice" but he's actually very evil. He's a wuss. Of course he's not going to reject you flat out because it feels good to have his ego stroked, to have someone interested in him, to have you as an option. As long as you initiate everything and he doesn't have to make any effort, doesn't have to chase you, you are served freely on his plate. He probably thinks he's obvious enough that he doesn't like you and that you have accepted to be just friends. I bet if you ask him again he will be surprised and again give you some kind of excuse.

You know why guys are so oblivious to hints? Because their brain is biologically wired to go after what THEY want, not to reciprocation. They need to be the FIRST one to start liking a girl, then they do their in trying to get her and only then wonder about hints and if she likes them BACK. If they didn't feel that "click" with a girl, her effort will be in vain. They are not like us to wonder if a guy is into us if he approaches us, we wonder this with every guy we know. The only thing they think about when a girl they are not into approaches them is if they can be friends. They genuinely believe that an "unattractive" girl has approached them with the sole purpose of friendship. When you give them subtle signs like "oh I love that band would like to see them, take me with you next time?" they think you said that because you really like the band and is convenient for you to go with him, because of the band. Not because you like him, lol.

[RuthlessReality]

It's hard to say because every guy is different and approaches texting and communication differently. My husband is a horrible communicator especially over text, he doesn't text first unless he has a question and he doesn't carry on any type of conversation over text, even if it's something I think is important. It's possible your guy is the same, that long-distance communication is just something he doesn't feel is productive or doesn't think of as important. Just something to keep in mind.
If he's inviting you to come and hang out and visit his town then it seems like he cares about you in some way to spend time with you. The biggest issue I could see with this situation is if you go to this hangout with the expectation of him being cutesy and boyfriend and instead he just wants to do things like friends and therefore that ruins the whole mood. I'd say ask him directly how he feels about you and how he expects this situation to go so you know what you're driving hours to get. The only way to know for sure what's on his mind is to outright ask him, that way you know if you'd be wasting your time or not.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your answer! It really opened my eyes. I’m really expecting “lovey dovey” stuff from him, since he hasn’t told me how he feels yet. But I would like to go to see if things do progress. My issue is, I have abandoned issues and anxiety. So when I don’t hear from him, I start to think that I did something wrong, or he moved on. So, I’m going to work on that

[RuthlessReality]

I totally understand, I have similar issues, so me and my husband fought a lot when we were dating and not together every day because I felt like he didn't care about me or didn't want to be with me anymore. It's a constant struggle, but I'd recommend trying to not kick yourself as much, and if it's really bothering you bring it up to him and just ask him how he feels about texting. When I had a good conversation with my man about texting and how we both feel about it, it was really eye-opening, because I realized that it's not because he was just ignoring me or not caring, it's just because we thought about texting differently. I wish you the best of luck.

[ScottStevens]

You've got a tough cookie on the line there! Could be very shy, could be a terrible communicator. It also sounds like he put some thought into your day together! I would let him know it sounds fun and you are looking forward to it. Ask him to send you a message with some pictures of the area so you can see what it looks like. Maybe let him know what kind of food you prefer and ask what type of restaurants he likes.

The questions or to get him to fire back or come first with some information. Maybe get him more comfortable with the idea of sending out messages. Also try his preferred method of communication, that may be the charmer he needs.

[torgor67]

Sounds a bit like me in other situations XD But mainly a indecisive nature I find can be a sign of a man too nice to reject you and especially if they try overly hard to soften any blows that may hurt your feelings. But like you said its also probably because he's shy as well and I find that in situations like this I sometimes want a person to speak their honest feelings and say what's on their mind. But best of luck and I would just speak openly about the issue!