Why do guys always say I'm not black enough?

[Purple_Rose]

Whenever I try to date or meet guys, they usually laugh at me or make fun of my voice. They say I don't have to talk proper, but this really how I sound. I can't control it. They also make fun of my interests and I honestly get so discouraged. I'm being myself and it's not good enough for anyone.

[Not_Average]

That's an issue within black culture that no one wants to talk about. If you speak with proper English, you're acting too "white". Why can't black people articulate themselves utilizing proper English without having social ramifications? I saw this a lot growing up, and one of my best friends who's black has mentioned this as well. My suggestion is to be yourself, and surround yourself with likeminded people. Not just people of the same ethnicity. America is a melting pot, and it doesn't make sense to surround yourself with just one subset of people. You don't have to conform to one identity or culture to be accepted. I have friends that are white, black, Asian, latino, and black. They all have different personalities, and their ethnicity doesn't define their personality. I make friends with people who align within my interest. I'm biracial, so my family is even a melting pot.

[The_Inquisitor]

Oh trust me we try to talk about it, but they bring up their victim mentalities and now have SJW Karens backing them 100%

As a black man raising a interracial daughter (Black and White) I know I have seen way more than my fair share of discrimination from my own people. even on this site I've been called a coon by black people for liking white people.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Well, what men are telling you your not black enough? I'm guessing not white/Asian/hispanic guys, am I correct? If they do not appreciate you, why not try dating outside your race? If you are and they say that, then well thats pretty messed up and I do not have any response to that. Their is nothing wrong with speaking proper and I don't think it should be associated with being "nonblack", that is kind of messed up when you think of it. As for your interests I have no idea what they are so I cannot comment on that.

[Purple_Rose]

My intrests are pretty normal. Traveling, movies, etc. I'm an artist too. I paint and do wood burning.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Oh, cool! Do you just do straight up art, or do you do a particular style (i. e. are you doing still lifes, or do you do abstracts etc. etc.)? Sounds interesting, but it also sounds like something a person would do black or otherwise. So not really sure how some one would decide that art isn't "black". Also how is liking movies "not black enough"? That is also a weird one to me.

So was I correct in assuming your mostly dating black guys? I ask because well everything you listed seems like standard behavior (that is coming from a white guy so maybe I'm biased), and I have heard that many within the black community say this to other black people (youtube videos were some black men and women were complaining being accused of not acting black when they did their homework or read books or as you pointed out spoke proper etc.)? Because again, if that is the case I would recommend broadening your horizons.

I also wonder were your meeting these guys, I mean I cannot imagine a black business man or accountant would tell you to not speak properly that just seems weird. So maybe its an issue of education level (or academic inclination to be more accurate (I didn't graduate college, but I can safely say I am more academicly inclined then most academics.))? That could be something to consider as well.

[Purple_Rose]

I do landscapes, portraits, wildlife and fan art.

[Purple_Rose]

And there really aren't any black business men or accountants or anyone like that where I live. My options are pretty limited.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Fan art of what?

well have you considered dating outside your race? If educational background isn't an option maybe dating outside of your race could? Or you could see if their is an art course in the area and see if you can find some one their who shares similar interests (and who then wouldn't tell you your not black enough for them (otherwise they wouldn't be there)).

[Purple_Rose]

The fan art is usually at people's request. Like Star Wars, Marvel, DC, Disney, Harry Potter... etc.

[Purple_Rose]

And dating outside my race isn't a good idea where I am because guys of other races are not attracted to me. It's always one of two situations. 1. Most of the time they are racist and wouldn't even dare look my direction. 2. They only speak to me when no one else is around and are really only interested in a sexual experience to try out. But they wouldn't dare be seen with me anywhere.

[hellionthesagereborn]

Nice.

How do you know? Were are you at that you believe that all of these guys are racist?

[Purple_Rose]

Oh trust me. It's not an assumption. It's deeply rooted in a way of life here. I'm in Texas and live in a small, rural area. I've lived here all my life and people are openly racist here. They don't hide it because it's normal here. Growing up, I have been told to my face a number of times that I'm less than, simply because I'm black. It's very rare, but if you ever see anyone white trying to date anyone black, they usually get jumped or worse. I remember seeing that happen in school, college and even through my adult life. I'm sure there are some guys I've probably crossed paths with that might have been attracted to me, but they were probably scared to say anything out of fear due to the reasons I listed. As for Asian men, they don't really live around here. They live closer to the cities. And as for Hispanic or Latino men, I only ever see them with Latinas or white women. They also are pretty vocal about not being with women like me.

[hellionthesagereborn]

well you don't know until you try. As for the racism, all I can say is that over 80% of americans are okay with interracial relationships so while obviously racist will always exist, I would question just how common the belief is even in your area (we are primed to see negatives because evolutionarily speaking it keeps us alive. Being aware of where good food was might make you happy, but knowing were poisonious food was would keep you alive. So we are primed for negatives and see them much more prominently then positives).

That said you have talked yourself into one of two options, either accept that your not going to be "black enough"(what ever that is suppose to mean), or move to another location that is much more tolerant and open. I don't see any other options based upon what you have said beyond what I mentioned earlier and taking a risk and stepping out of your comfort zone.

[Espresso-Grande]

In all my 30 years on this earth, I've never heard that expression.."you're not black enough"

I'm not sure where or how you meet these guys, but they sound immature , mentally and emotionally, and very childlike. Change the way you meet a potential partner or date

[lanadelrey25]

They're immature, find yourself a nice older man who can love and respect you for who you are.

[The_Inquisitor]

Yo lemme switch skin tones with you, I got the exact opposite issue, Girls tell me I am too black!

On a more serious note, do you mean they don't treat you like a black women because your way of speaking, interests and over all personality doesn't fit the stereotype for a black women? Or do you mean your skin color is not dark enough?

If its the former, the black community has high disdain for black men and women who they consider race traitors, so much so that liking something stereotypically considered white can get you ridiculed.
IF its a non-black person saying this, they are racist.

I personally enjoy a lot of Animes, cartoons, fantasy movies like Lord of the Rings and Harry potter! I love music like Metal and rock way more than I do rap, so people call me a traitor that I kiss white heels. Just bunch of cultural deep rooted hate against other cultures and races, fills the black community makes it toxic to actually make something of yourself if that something doesn't involve the black community.

[jshm2]

You're dating trash guys, what else do you expect?

You should be more discouraged by the fact that what you desire - does not desire you. Change your outlook, kiddo.

[Avicenna]

You need to date guys that appreciate you and won’t compartmentalize her. Strongly consider dating outside of your race.

[pizzalovershouse]

No there just gerks so lifs of guys do it to cut a girl down so they can make them weak so they get a hookup by saying i can make it up to you then they seduce you

[CYNICAL_CRYPTIC]

Lmao The ignorance of some should never be understood, just bypassed and overlooked.

[Fukaroo]

Obviously they are racist against white people doing what black people like.

[Purple_Rose]

I'm black.

[Fukaroo]

They have a low standard for black people. They think just because you are educated you act white. Sorry this happened to you.

[israelisevil]

IF YOU LET OTHERS INSULT YOUR INTERESTS AND GET YOU THEY won't RESPECT YOUR INTERESTS

[zagor]

Any guy who says that probably isn't good enough for you so don't worry about it.

[chriscdi]

good enough for anyone around you, you haven't met them all

[Anonymous]

I honestly think it's hot when I meet a black woman that speaks "Proper" as you put it.

[Sophia001]

Don't worry about that

[magiusX26]

because those guys are idiots

[crmoore]

I agree with Not_Average's comment.

[Dave31989]

why do people always say im not white enough

[The_Inquisitor]

Do you not have kaki shorts? with a pair of flipflops you wear with socks? and a hawaiin shirt for specifically grilling in?

[The_Inquisitor]

If not then you have failed to reach the Dad Levels of white

[Dave31989]

i don't have khaki shorts, i don't wear sock with my flip flops and i don't wear hawaiin shirts

[The_Inquisitor]

Then Dad level will never be achieved :(