I'm a dark skinned black girl and I don't want to go outside and get darker, advice?

[Anonymous]

Most guys don't like dark skinned black girls! It's something I've dealt with for a long time now. You can talk about people just having preferances but I think that's just an exscuse some guys use to make it sound OK that they exclude dark skinned girls from their dating possibilities. Lets just be real here. There are some gorgeous dark skinned black girls out there, but there are a lot of guys who don't even give them a chance or check them out because they're dark! I don't mean to make it seem like I'm throwing a pity party because I'm really not. Ever since I started modeling, I've embraced my skin color. It's just frustrating when our own men degrade us because of our dark skin (I want a redbone/yellowbone lighter girl) then it seems like a lot of other guys just aren’t as attracted to us. I thought I was over my color complex, but I'm realziing maybe I'm not. I'm avoiding the sun because I don't want to get too dark :( but that's so self limiting and ignorant. Please help! Give me some advice! What's your opinion?

[Anonymous]

i empathize with how you feel. I have a beautiful dark chocolate younger sister and I would hate it if someone made her feel that way. its sad that society has trained ignorant motherf***ers to criticize you because of your skin color. those fools don't know that melanin is a blessing. its a link that makes you closer to God. it will keep your skin healthy and keep you looking younger for a longer time. but a lot of ignorant asses don't know that, pity for them. most black guys who hate on dark skin girls are ugly themselves. they have internalized self hate on their own race so when they see a very dark skinned black girl, she reminds him too much of his blackness that he's trying to run away from. it has nothing to do with them being "ugly" because lets face it, we all know that an ugly or average light/nonblack girl will get shine from some of these niggas more than a pretty dark girl. so its not YOU its THEM. if you are dark embrace it and love it. there are plenty of women who's confidence shines through and men love it. don't let the loud obnoxious ignorant guys over shadow the guys who do love dark skin women because they are out there. they just don't feel they have to overcompensate so they aren't as loud about their "preferences" as the haters. remember, even though the media hypes redbone girls, they get played and disrespected too. you think a guy who hates on his own color of women will really treat ANY woman with the utmost respect? sure those girls get put in videos but they are also considered groupies and treated like hoes. by the way haven't you noticed how ironic it is that its usually the darkest black men who hate on dark skin women? that should tell you something right there. keep ya head up doll

[rbswf03]

Screw them! You are who you are, love it, embrace it and anybody who doesn't like the color of your skin aren't worth your time. No matter who you are, what you look like, somebody gone always have something to say. Even if you're the most beautiful woman in the world people say "she thank she cute". If you're rich people say, "she think she better than everybody else". That's why you can not go through life wondering what other people think or say. Why they may be in the minority, there are guys out there that can appreciate a dark skinned woman. And when you find him I'm sure he'll be worth the wait ;)

[Asker]

Thank you so much for the encouraging, uplifting words! :)

[CheckHerOutBruh]

Wear sunscreen! There are so many dark skinned black girls, just like yourself, and some guy will, too. Look at all the Next Top Model's that are dark skinned, too. Some of them. The media probably plays up light skinned girls, and red bones and all that, but sweety, they get played, too, and their heartbroken. Nobody gives a f***. Hope I helped.

[CheckHerOutBruh]

Listen to the song "Miss Chocolate" by R.Kelly and Mario for kicks.

[ThickRick]

It's been proven that skin cancer rates are higher in regions where people stay indoors the longest (mostly Arctic regions)

So you either stop caring about your skin and be healthy, or you risk getting skin cancer. Life or death? Hmm which will it be sista?

[bosanac]

I love dark skinned girls and imma white guy. Every girl is beautiful in her own way. Just be confident!

[Bella9191]

I don’t think most people actually care what skin colour other people have. I think people are worried what others may say,

for eg.
i have very pale skin. Normally I date other white guys but once I dated a guy who had quite dark skin, I didn’t think anything of it because I never had any issues when walking down street or anything with my white partners.

we went together to a bar on the weekend, when we were walking down street to find our uber this group of boys from their car started yelling racial slurs at the guy I was dating, this kind of thing kept happening.

I know it’s bad to say but I felt like I was being dragged into the racism against him, I felt I was experiencing it by proxy, I felt I was feeling his embarrassment, feeling his disadvantage. I felt bad for him. But I thought this is such a shit feeling I don’t want to feel this again, it’s just easier for me to date other white guys.

So i did not care what colour skin someone had. But I noticed it was just easier for me to date another white guy. I didn’t have to deal with the stuff I had to deal with, with the other guy.

[MzNatalie]

I have vitiligo on my face, imagine how much it sucks for me to go outside and I live in California too. I'm half Spaniard too so imagine the looks I get when I say I'm hispanic.

[Asker]

Awww! I'm sorry for any struggle you have to go through because of that!

[MzNatalie]

Thanks, pero I'm totally fine with it now. I always thought it was sexy on girls so I'm sure someone will be okay with it on me one day too.

[EricaHappinessLove]

You know what so the f*** what! Who cares what them guys think, seriously the time will come when you find someone. You need to stop having self hate and realize your beautiful and lucky to have smooth black pearl skin. I hate in the winter and I'm lighter then I'm already am and look yellow, I put a tinted moisturerizer that a shade darker then me on my face so I can look bronze like in the summer time. Be proud hun please I'm tired of black girls feeling unpretty because the color of their skin. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, I have a vest friend who get hit on by a lot of guys and she gorgeous dark chocolate.

[Asker]

I don't have self hate lol I was just feeling insecure so I asked the question. it's easy to say all of that if you haven't personally experienced what it feels like

[EricaHappinessLove]

Actually I have a whole lot of you know chocolate skin friends so I can imagine but seriously it's ridiculous, you want to try not and get darker. Thats's bad and I been bullied, feased , all that good stuff when I was younger and I learn like f*** what everyone thinks about you. And learn how to love mysdlf , in other words I guess I got thick skin from it. Just because I have a lighter shade of brown doesn't mean I wasn't once insecure.

[Asker]

I didn't say that just because you're a lighter shade means you can't be insecure. But what I'm saying is you don't know how it feels to be a dark skinned girl and know what this feels like. So what you have dark skinned friends! I can become friends with a survivor from Africa of rape and being a child soilder and try to imagine how terrible it feels but it doesn't mean sh*t because I've never been through those things. Same concept!

[Asker]

I'm tired of light skinned chicks who can't even relate saying "so the f*** what!" YOU. DO. NOT.KNOW.WHAT.ITS.LIKE. Yeah you may have been insecure, yeah you may have had people say nasty things to you. But do you know what it's like to have entire groups of men not even give you a chance just because you're dark? probably not so your opinion doesn't really mean much

[Anonymous]

Yeah my sister's like you, she doesn't like getting a tan but she's actually quite light skinned already. I on the other hand don't care. I'm not gonna let the sun stop me from doing what I want to do, although I won't encourage getting darker by going outside and sunbathing. It's up to you really. I don't believe a few shades lighter or darker will make that much or a difference.

Guys that like girls with lighter skin aren't making excuses, it really is just a preference. Your rant isn't exactly going to change their minds. A lot of guys don't like us, but a lot of guys also do that's just the way it is.

[Asker]

Ok first of all, a lot of times guys who do say "I like lighter skinned girls. It's just my preferance" are just making an exscuse! Not every single guy of course, but a lot of times saying "I just have my preferance" is just an exscuse for not liking a darker skinned girl without sounding like a jerk. Trust me. It's not a rant. I'm just saying how I feel! What? I can't vent a little and ask for advice!?

[Opinion Owner]

Stop getting so worked up. So what do you want them to say, "I don't like black girls I only like lighter girls?" Will you be happy then? It's still the same thing. It is a preference. I'm sure there is a type of guy you aren't really attracted to as well, that too is a preference. I have given you advice. I said it's up to you. If you feel like a couple of shades will make a difference to your attractiveness they stay indoors all day. It's your life.

[Asker]

No, I'm attracted to all kinds of guys. That's why you shouldn't ASSume. I'm not worked up. I'm just annoyed with you because I came here seeking advice and encouraging words when most of what you're doing is questioning the validity of my post! It's frustrating!

[Opinion Owner]

If you didn't want comments on what you wrote you shouldn't have put it there. You asked for opinions, I gave you one. You asked for advice, I said a few shades won't make much of a difference (hinting you should allow yourself to go out). If your frustrated and annoyed then your worked up. A preference for a kind of guy isn't just his race, I was talking about height, weight etc. For that everyone has preferences. I personally think we should just agree to disagree.

[Asker]

I didn't say that I didn't want comments all together! Don't put words in my mouth. I just said you're annoying because you're not helpful at all

[Opinion Owner]

Oh, I know many people that would disagree. Again, let us agree to disagree.

P.S. I'm going to stop replying now because I'm bored.

[Asker]

lol wtf if you were so bored then why did you come back the next day to reply in the first place

[Anonymous]

Why avoid the sun? If you're that dark already, how much darker can you really get?

[Asker]

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[Asker]

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[Anonymous]

Marry me and let's be happy you will forget about your worries.