If you found the perfect guy, but he smoked weed regularly, would you date him?

[wtf636]

Just curious. I find that it tends to be an issue with my dating life.

Obviously no one is perfect, but. if he had a good career and everything else going for him, would you mind that he liked to smoke a bit of weed at the end of the day?

[zeitgeist057]

Responding more to your comments and the general picture I'm getting:

I would not recommend quitting for someone else because that's not going to stick long term, it's the wrong reason. if you are going to cut back or quit, it should be because it's what you really want and believe to be best.

I got high almost every day for 5 years. Like you, it was "just a bit of weed at the end of the day, like a beer." But weed, at least the CA grown weed I got for free from my smarter-than-me friends who have jobs in the capitol and make 6 figures a year, is MUCH stronger than a beer. I could take one good toke and be high af for about 3 hours, with lingering effects of feeling lazy well into the next morning.

In the end, I stopped and when I look back I see all those evenings of being high as a waste of my time. I was having fun and feeling good, but not productive and tbh, I don't remember 80% of the thoughts or experiences I had. Conversations had high are like dreams to me, I know they happened but what exactly was said is a foggy blur.

You have your own path and if you are enjoying getting high as part of your life, then by all means keep up with it. But the bottom line is it is a habit that you are addicted to, and you don't seem to be in control of it. You have identified at least one way (romantic interaction with others) that it is impeding your life. So what's more important to you? If it's getting high, then get high. No one can tell you what you value or where your values are at or what you should value. I mean, who am I kidding, they will anyway, but my point is it is ultimately up to you. Just sharing my experience, I didn't and don't want something else controlling my life to that extent so I'm glad to be sober now. I'm down to get high when I have free time, but honestly since I stopped smoking, I've filled my life with so much else I literally never have the time to get high. I need my brain to focus and I need to be alert for the next morning, and I don't have the spare time to sink into just living for a pleasurable euphoric escape for 4 hours followed by 8 hours of recovery.

If I found a chick that I thought was "perfect" and she got high every night, I would totally date her anyway, but I wouldn't expect it to last as I know her addiction would eventually get in the way. I would want more engagement and intimacy from her on a level that she wouldn't be able to achieve in an altered state. I would want to see her self development somewhat in parallel with mine, and there's no way she's going to keep up getting high every night. We could have a relationship, but her addiction would put a ceiling on how far we could go with it.

[ChrisMaster69]

I had this from a guys point of view, non smoker, non drug user.

met someone amazing, who did weed.

yes we dated and yes would do it again.

[slackbabbath]

What’s regularly? Like daily throughout the day and whenever I’m around him? Because then no I wouldn’t because then he wouldn’t be the perfect guy. Smoking weed would alter his behavior, how he talks and thinks. How he smells. I know because I smoke weed and have gone through periods where I smoked every day. Currently I’m not. I dated a guy who smoked regularly and we didn’t match with our ambitions and life values. I don’t mind I’d regularly means before bed or a few times a week, but if he’s a complete pot head, he’s not the guy for me.

[Seinna]

When I was 20 maybe I'd accept it, but at the moment no.

I also don't mind the smoking itself, only if it's a regular thing.

It affects your brain and quite frankly makes you stupid. I don't like being around stupid people. You say he'd have a good career... well no, because regular smoking would affect it negatively. You have to grow up one day.

[wtf636]

It doesn't really make me stupid. I could understand if my whole identity was about smoking weed. But it's like a beer at the end of the day.

As far as me not having a good career. I have a senior position at a large tech firm, making 6 figures in UX design field. My boss smokes lol. I have met plenty of idiots that have never smoked weed a day in their life. I also know people smarter than me that also smoke weed.

I can understand it being viewed as immature. I guess I just don't see why.

[Seinna]

That just means you're smart to begin with :P Doesn't mean you wouldn't be smarter without it.

In my younger years I spent a lot of time with people who smoked (and did other things) and I could see the effect it had on them even if they didn't... or didn't care to notice. Everything is for people but also everything can be abused and yes it can be addictive when done regularly.

So the bottom line is, I would not be with someone who abuses any substance because at a certain point I no longer see it as their free choice. Especially if they can't see how it's affecting them and adamantly deny that it does (and I've seen this a lot).

In my opinion you'd be better off limiting smoking to special occasions, but if you're happy with where you are in your life then I'm sure eventually a woman will come along who will accept it.

But... this is my observations only. The guys who were too much into any type of drug tended to attract the "wrong" type of girl. It depends on what you want from her, but if you do think of settling down... well, women who also want that will see this as a red flag even if they are generally tolerant of weed. Also, I've seen situations in which girls "outgrew" the phase in their life when they could be with someone who smoked regularly and moved on to a more stable person.

I wish you luck xx

[wtf636]

I can agree with that for the most part. I am not the typical stoner guy I think.

And I do think I could cut back. Maybe just special occasions. I think I have noticed that the women I really want, don't really want a guy that smokes weed. And that is probably my main reason for wanting to quit.

[midnightmoon05]

I dated a really really nice guy. He can hold a job, from a good family. He had some issues growing up and I understand him well. If I am one who just want to have fun with life, no kids, no marriage... that’s fine.
I have kids and I need a level headed partner to be a team with me. I let him go and is with a man who is on the same level as me and kids.
my ex spent a lot of money on weed and not able to function with certain life skills.

if you are looking for a woman to settle down to have a family, that maybe the reason why they left. just part of late selection.

[DianaWest]

if he smokes anything, he is not the perfect guy. i think you should quit, but more for the sake of your own health than dating. and don't mean to be rude, but weed smells like horse shit. i know because i've been around horses and know what horse shit smells like. i would not want that smell to get into my clothes or hair. yikes.

[FictionalCharacter]

Horse shit smells like skunk 🦨💨 ?

[White_Widow]

I'd be fine with it, I smoke weed myself too a couple of days a week. But I do have a condition and that is: That not too much money goes out to buying it and that it doesn't interfere with everyday life and the responsibilities that everyday life has.

[TheNamesReiMech]

I would probably bring up the fact that weed can definitely kill you, and he should probably try to lean off a bit, but this is also depending on if I like him or not. If it were to be someone I cared for, I would probably help him get out of this situation, because people die literally every day because of weed. And I wouldn’t want him to be next. But if it was someone I looked at as an acquaintance, I would probably help him get into rehab and move on with my life.

[wtf636]

How do people die from weed?

[Slim57]

Haha yeah how are people dying from weed

[domo0906]

Fuck yes I smoke weed every night to wind down and relax. I work so hard and I don’t see the problem of having some time to myself and enjoy myself. It’s not interfering with my ability to perform my job so what’s the problem? If my boyfriend wants to smoke with me every night then even better but I will never judge someone who smokes weed everyday.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Well, then he wouldn't be the perfect guy for me.

I find smoking in general extremely unattractive. And it being weed is just extra minus point.
I wouldn't date him.

[HiveBee]

Extra minus point? That is insane. Cigarettes are pure evil. Weed is far from evil.

[Little_Bumblebee]

@HiveBee Everyone to each their own

[Mofunfour20]

Any woman that doesn't like me smoking herb can move on or figure it out. If she doesn't think I can function then why be with someone that has such little faith in me. Hell naw, she's gonna doubt your leadership at every turn.

[DianaWest]

a woman that doesn't like you smoking would probably not be interested in the first place. not trying to be rude, just saying. and it's not just about functioning. you can be a smart and kind person and smoke. but it's mostly about your health. drugs reduce your life expectancy by at least a decade. why would you want to shorten your lifespan and risk your health? no woman wants the father of her children to die a decade after they get married.

[Gwenhwyfar]

As long as it didn’t interfere with his life and he wasn’t an addict I wouldn’t mind. I smile once in a while and I enjoy a glass of wine after work (like now 😊), so I’m not one to criticize.

[Anonymous]

If he smoke weed he is not perferct at all in my eyes. I may sould very picky but my man should not do drugs, not drink alcohol, no tattoos and no piercings. Then maybe he could be almost perfect.

[PoliteSpeaker]

lol. Gl finding that guy. Tbh I'm literally that guy and I've never met anyone else that can check off what you listed there. Well actually some girls can so I take that back but not many. And a lot of them are religious so that is the only reason why.

[TheOracle10]

@PoliteSpeaker It isn't that hard to not be a degenerate.

[DianaWest]

i don't mind if a guy drinks SOME alcohol (as in once a month for special occasions) has one or two subtle tattoos, and ear piercings. heck, i have my ears pierced and do love my champagne on New Years Eve. but on the drugs part, i agree 100%. would not want a druggie anywhere near me.

[Opinion Owner]

Im not religious. I have standards and also some good morals. But that doesn't meant im religious. I would take that as a compliment lol

[muscularbumblebee]

Yes I have before too as long as it’s not an issue to everyday life and the place doesn’t smell…I’d rather not though as I hate any smoking in general

[muscularbumblebee]

I have dated I mean not I have smoked*

[Isugorl]

It really depends on you, if u feel like it won't be good for ur relationship then no. But if it doesn't hinder it then yes.

[BeenThereLovedIt]

Smartest man I've known in my life was a pothead. I only wish I could function half as well straight or high as he did on his worst day.

[ElizaPam]

If he’s the perfect guy of course he’s going to smoke weed

[wtf636]

haha, that's a good answer. Didn't expect that.

[Dazed0N0Confused]

If he didn't smoke weed, now THAT would be a problem for me.

[HiveBee]

Exactly! =D

[karaspara]

Yes as long as he can afford to buy his own weed personally i'd prefer a stoner to a drunk

[succubus_girl]

tbh no, i dont like when guys get stoned all the time

[Agape93]

My girl smokes weed. I don’t give a shit. Long as you don’t make my house stink.

[Aquariusmystery]

Nope. I hate the stuff I’d rather be single than be with a stoner ewwww

[Ighosh]

Yes as long as he doesn’t force me to do it and he is overall a good person :)

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

do you do it in a state that hasn't legalize it yet?

[wtf636]

I live in St. Louis, only medical is legal here, but 10 miles away over the border into Illinois, I can go buy legal weed. Will most likely be legal here as well in the next 5 years or so.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

so you travel state lines, just to do something illegal

[wtf636]

Lol sure buddy.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

yeah, and they say democrats are the "illegal people"

[wtf636]

Lol what the fuck are you talking about? How did this become about politics. You don't know what I am brother.

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Doesn't matter. I can already tell what you likely are

[wtf636]

So what am I then buddy? :)

[ItsMeItsMe1989]

Reublicuck/trumptard

[wtf636]

Lol don't even know the first name you put there. And I voted have Democrat everytime. But you were close.

[drownsbytheriver]

Weed is not bad of course I’ll date him pass me the joint

[HiveBee]

Right, i dont care. I want a girl who is a pothead anyways. in my opinion people who fear drugs are immature.

[SnakeBoop]

*Wouldn't be the "perfect" guy then.

[Goldnessy]

No, that's not my guy.

[iseekpinetrees]

No. I don't smoke not gunna be around it.

[JennBITx]

I would not. Could never risk that with my job

[FictionalCharacter]

Oh yeah, because I do too.

[Iron_Man]

If it was a girl I I would get away from it

[rienna888]

Ya smoking weed is fine to me

[Anonymous]

Yes I would. I smoke weed too.

[SupremeWarlord]

No, I would not date that guy.

[Sketti2021]

He ain't perfect after all

[Joker_]

Then he wouldn't be the perfect guy

[Anonymous]

He is on his way to death soon

[SaoirseS]

No I wouldn’t.

[ThisGirlHasNoName]

Yes, if he can control the amount.

[sandymai]

Yes i will date him if he is a smokers

[faye_girl]

I would not 😃😃😃

[Anonymous]

No I wouldn't that stuff stinks 🤮🤮

[BladeStormz]

Yes sure why not.