Girls, how can I make a profile on a dating website stand out?

[Anonymous]

I have tried online dating sites and it’s always the same thing. The girls complain that they get too many messages and the guys are only looking for sex. I’m not. I want a life partner. Problem is, men seem to outnumber women like 300 to 1. Some women will actually write in their profile “sorry if I don’t respond, but I get a thousand messages a day”. I have read others that say 300 or 400. My messages go unanswered. If I’m going to message someone I’m interested is, how the hell am I going to be unique? No human being wants to read 1,000 messages per day.

Updates

+1 y

I want to thank everyone that contributed to this. Your suggestions were amazing. I have a lot of good advice to work with now, thanks to all of you!

[Sezrey]

I always used to go for unique and individual photos that showed the person had a sense of humour and looked fun.
I always swiped past mirror selfies, gym selfies and shirtless photos.
Unlike a lot of other girls, I also read the profiles because I wanted more than a hook up, and a lot of guys who just want a hook up don't bother to write an interesting profile or one at all.
The key thing for me was that they weren't too long or didn't awkwardly try to be funny, but showed a bit of individuality.
Favourite movies, something they love or hate, a funny fact or interesting thing about them were always things I noticed.
Good luck :) please don't lose heart, it might take time but I'm sure someone will get in touch and want to get to know you more. All the best :)

[Asker]

Thank you very much! That was helpful and very sweet 🙂

[Sezrey]

You're welcome 😊 you seem really lovely. I think you should just be yourself. I know a lot of people are saying you should say certain things girls want to hear, but I think you should say things that are authentically you, because you want someone to fall for you and who you are. I always found honesty and someone being themselves was really attractive. Please just be yourself, the right person will fall for that

[Asker]

Thank you! 🙂

[Gingersnapz74]

I always paid attention to the longer messages that said something other than the

Hey sexy
wyd
call me

and others... ones that actually said something that was in my profile to start a conversation.

For example if i said i love live music and the person responded, oh i love concerts too! best show i saw was The Butthole Surfers in 93' in a little dive bar in Ohio, what about you?

You know, something to connect with me and give me a reason to respond.

[Asker]

Thank you for your response. That is very helpful.

[jennifer_bloom]

If you have pictures of pets, that attracts girls, I know guys who tried to draw me into their home by telling me I could borrow their kittens when they are on vacation, the other thing is showing your romantic side works, if you say something like you like to buy flowers, write poems, play the violin, hold the door for her, go butterfly watching etc… Road trips are also fun but find cheap activities to avoid attracting gold diggers, suggest fishing by a river with a picnic and not fishing in a boat, or hiking along a trail and eating Tim Hortons, instead of overnight stay at the local waterfall with steak dinner afterwards etc…

[Asker]

Those are all helpful suggestions. Thank you!

[TwinkleLily5]

Yes a female online does receive a ton of messages a day at least about 40-100 and more if she’s showing off her body. 1. Make sure you are approaching women in your league, be honest with yourself if you wouldn’t approach her in real life don’t do it online. I turned down plenty of men because I know I was out of their league don’t waste your time. 2. Don’t be generic most men sent me the same message all of the time and eventually it became annoying; Good morning beautiful, Hi, WYD, Sexy call me, or constantly was asking for pictures.. please Avoid these if you can- maybe Reply Hey how are you etc. And after you’ve chatted for a while mention little things from their profile it will show a woman that you are interested in her. Keep it simple, write something that will make her smile. Also don’t be too pushy or too available, don’t write really long or too short replies. Most of the guys I ended up giving my number to were the ones who played it cool with me they kept the conversation light and interesting online and then they would say I’m interested in getting to know more about you can I have your number

[Asker]

Thank you very much!

[Moimaris]

I’m on a dating app to to find something serious and I agree with those women.

So how do you stand out as a men? Well it’s hard to find one specific solution because everyone is different and an online impression can be totally different than in real life.

The picture with the dog is nice. I would definitely use photos that gives a serious and good impression like animal photos, hobby photos, I would not use alcohol photos or half naked look at my chest photos. Look confident.

How to message.. that’s a hard thing because we women also don’t know what we want. I would say don’t be to pushy with messages, have patience, be polite I guess and if you want to stand out think about something personal of her what you might have seen on her pictures.

You look good so it’s not that, it’s the online dating that makes it hard. For both

[Moimaris]

Also: I think 60% of men send messages like Hi sexy etc, for me that sounds superficial. So be genuine when you compliment her.

[Asker]

Thank you for responding.

[Anonymous]

Agree with @gingersnapz74. The messages that stood out to me were the ones that made it clear the guy actually READ my profile. When I had my profile up, I had my travel bucket list on there. My now-bf sent me a message saying he liked me travel bucket list and kicked off a conversation about places we'd been, etc. We've now been together for 1.5 years.

Not all, but most of the other guys online would send messages that just said, "Hey", or "How are you?" or "Cute smile". Those messages were a dime a dozen, and I ignored mostly all of them.

[Asker]

Thank you for the suggestions

[Flower7]

Don’t wear sunglasses in any of the pictures. Don’t have another woman with you in the pictures. Don’t have pictures of random things and you’re not even in the picture. No pictures of you with other guys because that causes confusion about which one is you. These are a few tips that came to my mind. All of these things annoy me very much when looking through dating profiles.

[Moimaris]

Good one

[Flower7]

Thanks!

[Gingersnapz74]

OMG yes! Sunglasses and a ballcap! Like uh really? I have no clue what you look like!

[Asker]

Thank you for responding. I actually don’t do any of those things. Some women have profiles like that too and I agree it is confusing when a picture has multiple people in it.

[jmocha]

I would say make your first message memorable, something witty that will make her laugh, whether it's a cheesy pick up line or a joke. I'd also recommend pictures that were not taken in your bathroom

[Asker]

Thank you

[FictionalCharacter]

Men online are taken seriously when they Write down about themselves on their profile. Not just “HMU” or weird pics that leaves a girl guessing.

[Little_Bumblebee]

Be genuine and be yourself. Show who you are.
You don't need to appeal to 300 women. Just the right one and then it shouldn't matter about the rest.

[Asker]

Thank you for the advice. I am not trying to appeal to 300 women, I was just stating the frustrations from the guys perspective. You get hundreds of messages a day; we get zero. I think the problem is that it is impossible to weed through hundreds of emails. Sure I could come up with the most interesting message, but if you just decide to not read any of them then my words are lost.

[Little_Bumblebee]

First, I think it's an exaggeration.
And second, if it isn't it wouldn't apply to all the women.

If you only want to go after the women who say they get that many messages, then it's on you and you cannot really complain about that then.

[Asker]

If a woman is at least somewhat attractive, she is absolutely going to be bombarded with messages from guys. Many dating sites charge men money to use them, but let women use it for free. This is part of the problem; it costs women nothing to ignore messages. I won’t use those sites anymore. The free sites are just as bad, if not worse. Trust me, women are vastly outnumbered on dating sites. Also, I’m not going to message a woman with five kids from four different guys and who weighs 250 lbs. Sorry if that’s shallow, but I want someone reasonably attractive.

[Little_Bumblebee]

I only know of tinder and that's free to use.
And both men and women will be charged if they will get the premium.
women don't just get lasted there as they have to match as well and therefore are in control.
You can be into whatever you want to be into. But really, 300-400 messages from different sounds like an exaggeration.

But anyway. What good will it do if you advertise yourself to be something else than who you are?
I assume you want people to like you for you. So it will always just be better to be genuine and show who you are. You never know who will like what they see.

[Asker]

I would of course be myself and not try to be someone else. Thank you for the responses, they were very thoughtful. 🙂

[Anonymous]

to me , a guy who has a pet is unique. just be yourself let time decide when you'll get a life partner. rushing to it won't help.

[ElizaPam]

If you want to be unique you could date a transsexual like me

[Asker]

I appreciate that, but it’s not my thing. Thank you for the response.

[Ladyleigh]

Be a musician..
Plan a date she can’t refuse / will never forget
Be direct.. date and time in your invitation

[Babygirl_S]

Use pics of you having fun like traveling.

[Asker]

Okay thank you for the reply

[Anonymous]

by purchasing a premium membership

[Opinion Owner]

1. it is impossible to find a life partner online
2. they are looking for men online just to hunt for money.
3. you can find much better women around you.

[Asker]

I wish that were the case. I live in a rural area and options are very limited. You are right about the deception. I have used dating sites before that have fake profiles. They send you a message which of course you can’t read unless you pay for the premium membership. Then on the day your paid membership expires, lo and behold: another message. Which you can’t read unless you renew your membership, of course.

[Opinion Owner]

You seem like a clean person. stay away from such cheap women. Look, one cheap bitch gave me a minus. These types of women are never the type of women you are looking for.

[Asker]

I stay away from scams and I can easily weed out the fake ones from experience. There are plenty of dating sites that are legitimate, and the profiles will have real people behind them. The problem is the sheer number of messages that women get on a daily basis. You could get 300 messages a day; I could send 300 and not get a single response.

[Opinion Owner]

Those women are a cheap money hunter. where are you from?

[Asker]

Northern Michigan