After what date is it okay to have sex?

[Anonymous]

I have been talking to a guy since April but have only seen him 2 times because of work schedules. On our first date he said he likes me and on the second we ended up getting a hotel room. We were both pretty drunk, but we did do some things. Briefly had sex but he was having trouble keeping it up LMAO. so 2 questions. Did I mess it up by sleeping with him too soon and is he actually into me? I like him, so did I ruin this?

Updates

+1 y

Also, during the date he asked me if I’d go to a football game with him in a couple of weeks and I’m also supposed to see him next Friday. We saw eachother yesterday, but texts have died down a bit. Not sure if it’s just cause we recently saw eachother. I’m confused cause I’ve been out of the dating scene a while 🤡

[simonqq]

I really disagree with the sentiment most say here. There is no perfect time to do it. Those who say guys don't like if you have sex too easily are thinking of this the wrong way. I wouldn't even want a guy who thinks that way to begin with. If that's really the case then they aren't worth it. Have sex when you want to, don't overthink it and make sure you don't do it in hopes for something. Simply only have sex if you really want to. This way you can avoid feeling regret if things don't go as you hoped. Because in the moment you actually wanted to have sex and that's okay, what happens after that is something different.

[Asker]

Ah thank you! This actually is the one response that gives me a little hope haha I never thought a guy could be so hard to read lol

[simonqq]

When you like someone all kinds of doubts and overthinking takes place which makes it so much more difficult. The answer is usually more simple or that communication is missing.

With you I was just sad to read that many said you have to wait or whatever. That's just straight up bullshit. Even if true in some cases that a guy will think you are too easy or something, would you actually want a guy who thinks like this? I think that's a better question to ask yourself.

[Fireguy17]

tough call.
I have been on first dates where we ended up undressing each other with our teeth, and some even after 5 to 10 dates the comfort level just wasn't there for what ever reason to have sex.
Maybe we felt more like friends than lovers.
We still enjoyed each others company, but no rug burns in odd spots.

[kyleelyn199723]

2 times since April? I wouldn’t say he is interested in you because of that very detail itself. Me and my man have seen each other twice in one week.

[Asker]

He works weekends and I work during the week and we live in different states (about 2 hours away) he said after the summer things should slow down a bit 🤷🏽‍♀️

[kyleelyn199723]

Hmmm so maybe there’s still a chance, but also just keep in mind not to give it up too quickly. You need a reason for him to keep coming down and seeing you. Give it up too quickly and he may not think those 2 hours are worth the travel

[Asker]

Yess! You’re right !

[Smashingdoozy]

Whenever you both feel ready. There isn't a too soon or too late.

[Slayerrrrrrr]

You're looking too much into it love. You guys just went with the flow, nobody forced you guys.
It really depends on the person. Now, if you have a trend of first date or second date sex without a follow up date maybe just call it what it is, no shame in getting laid.

[Caliguy88]

Done it on the first and waited for like over a month. I’m pretty open to wait until the girl is ready. I don’t have a number for me.. but I’ll say I don’t like to do it before the 3rd with someone I like. When I have done it on the first it’s with someone I’m attracted to but don’t feel the match…. And I don’t like to lead people on so I gotta feel they are in the same boat.

[slatyb]

Whenever both people want to. A man that would judge you negatively for having sex with him too soon is not a man you want.

[Asker]

Ahh, I didn’t even think of it that way lol. Thank you!

[slatyb]

Some people have sex after their first date and never sleep apart again.

Most relationship don't last. Having sex or not won't change that. You can't trade sex for commitment Have sex if you want to have sex, and don't regret it.

[Browneye57]

1. Mutual attraction doesn't have a timeline or a schedule. Quit fussing about it.
2. You can't forge a relationship with someone special by texting.
3. Continue to date, IRL, get to know, see where it goes.
4. You're over-thinking, over-complicating, causing drama. Why do women do this?

[TommyMountainFigure]

Probably yes. Guys as a rue don't respect women who jump into bed too quickly. It not a reflection so much on the woman, it's just nothing that comes too easily is... I should stop now before i dig an even deeper hole?

[Asker]

Yeah that’s what I was afraid of. Which is kind of dumb cause most girls will only sleep with you if they like you, so opposite 😂

[TommyMountainFigure]

It also depends on your character too though. If you act all serious about it then it could be like walking around eggshells when you talk. If though you make a joke of it? it could and probably will work in your favour.

[TommyMountainFigure]

And yes. it IS kind of dumb but guys ARE dumb when drunk.. didn't you know that? :P

[Asker]

Hahaha okay, got it. I just won’t make it a big deal but I’ll let him know that I think we moved too fast and I wanna take it slow in a playful way? LOL

[Asker]

😂😂😂😂

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yep good idea. If however he said he wants to try again without alcohol? what will you say?

[Asker]

Lol I’d say I do too but I wanna get to know him some more before we get to that, so we’ll talk about it after date 10 😂

[TommyMountainFigure]

Yep :)) good girl. that's better. . I reckon he'll be cursing me now though.

[GoldenAxer]

Just have fun and good times and try not to drink so much the next time if you sleep together.

[worldscolide]

I never really placed a requirement on it or a time limit.. I just went with the flow. If it happened it happened, If it did not, it did not.

[normalice]

I offer this advice to whores and virgins alike: have sex when you want to get off. Neither sooner nor later.

[msc545]

Laughing when he couldn't keep it up probably ruined things.

[Asker]

It was so awkward 😂

[SamFromFL]

Ya you had sex too soon. So just let him know you want to wait a bit before trying again

[Asker]

Is this something I just bring up randomly? Ah we haven’t even really talked about it

[SamFromFL]

If you haven’t talked about sex then no need to bring it up if you don’t want to. Just be sure when you are next on a date and see things getting physical to let him know how far he can go so that he can respect your boundaries. For example if on your next date he starts to make out with you where is your comfort zone and what is too far?

[Asker]

I think making out is as far as I’d go this time. I like him but I’d rather take things slow than too fast and end. Plus I actually like spending time with him

[SamFromFL]

Great. So when he starts kissing you just let him know you want to keep it at just kissing that time and get to know him more before other things. If he does try to go past kissing remind him you want to just make out

[Asker]

Thank you!!

[SamFromFL]

You are welcome. Be safe and have fun :) that’s what dating is, fun times

[es20490446e]

You need to know if the other person is worth it, and wants the same as you do.

[noohair]

Drinking causes stupid actions. But if he is a drunk, find out now.

[Anonymous]

Its ok after the 1st date.

[clampfan101]

The date of your marriage.

[KevnHanma]

I’m not taking you on a date if we ain’t fucking

[Asker]

LMAO

[Fuentes]

First for me