What's your experience with a fuckbuddy?

[postempestas]

Mine isn't so great due to my damn feelings, I have already put an end date... But will let time pass anyways. I don't want to get too involved, more involved than him, expect more when obviously that's not what this is about. I am the problem, so my experience isn't quite nice. This is the story in veeery short lol Tell me bout yours :)

Updates

+1 y

And I have to add another question. Is it okay to spend the night at their house? My fb told me about it now that my parents will be gone for holiday, I'll be alone so I could spend the nights out without problem.

[Anonymous]

Was amazing at first then after a little over a year we started catching feelings. I confessed first and told him I wanted to end this since I know he’s not ready for a relationship, he begged me to stay so I did and we started dating. It’s been 6 months of dating and I asked if we can go ahead and just get in a legit relationship but he said he’s still not ready yet again but he won’t let me go… I’m slowly backing away from him as to not ruin the friendship but I’m ending the “benefits” portion. I do love him but I’m losing interest, just tired of waiting for him to be ready…

[postempestas]

So basically doesn't eat u but doesn't let you eat either. In my case we are fuckbuddies, i mean he didn't say it but yeah we are and he told me to agree on smth. To tell each other if we fuck smn else or if we like smn else. However, my case is different, rn if I tell him im leaving he wouldn't stop me, i dont think he has any feelings for me. Atm im trying to convince myself I dont and im doing pretty good ig. We will see what happens. But i feel sad for how smth u had could have been beautiful but he decided to give it time instead of thinking if that would affect u. His loss at end.

[Opinion Owner]

I was in the exact same situation as u in the beginning, I didn’t think he gave a crap about me when I confessed my feelings but turns out he cares a lot - he just doesn’t care as much as I do probably. The thing is he’s saying that I’m being impatient and rushing him lol now I’m not sure if I should give it a little bit more time or just bail out now.

Wbu, have u tried talking with your buddy to see what’s up? I think you’re better off just admitting your feelings so that you can work on moving on from it asap tbh. I denied my feelings at first and it worked for a bit only for it to blow up…

[postempestas]

In my case this guy is my "ex" i called my boyfriend for about a week lol when he told me he couldnt feel what i feel so we stopped it. It went too fast, we barely met, started talking and in the same month i wantes him to be mine not thinking if he was ready. He wasn't so he was like that "wait, let things happen by themselves", i couldnt bc im such an anxious person so we eventually stopped even having sex as "fbs" bc i couldnt take it, just fuck the man i love with all my heart when he couldnt. So almost a year later texted him asked him if he was dtf smts and promised him i changed.

[postempestas]

But well i dont like him bc he's my ex, id end liking him again bc of how he is and his physical, it means im doomed to love this man haha And now well, we fuck once a week, we cuddle, we watch smth and i go home. he's very gentle and loving when we are together, just like lovers are, but its sad cuz once i go out the door i won't hear him or feel him at all.

[postempestas]

And i dont want to stress him with my feelings bc then he would boot me again, for the same reason he booted me in the past. Im not ready to get that cruel shot again, not now, not yet. So thats more or less my situation.

[postempestas]

Oh but thinking about your current situation. You have been reservating yourswlf like a luxurious restaurant table for smn special to eat and they didn't come in 6 months. Dont you think its time to cancel the reservation? Or do u think he's giving u enough to keep going?

[Opinion Owner]

Wow that sounds tough. I think it’s unfair that you have to play your feelings down in order to keep him happy, you’re essentially sacrificing your feelings/needs in favor of satisfying him (I can relate lol). I’m exactly like you as in I’m also super anxious and I need something to hold on to, seems like both of our dudes are just dangling the carrot in front of us…

In my case, my guy is giving me breadcrumbs and I being a dumbass just takes it and it gives me hope. Is it the same with you? Are you planning to confess or just bail out anytime soon?

[postempestas]

Oh girl I did. Yesterday had a full meltdown and tols my bff id cum him once my family comes back from holiday but that got me in such a bad place, i was so emotional and in my feelings the past days.. I told my friend to help me heal myself, i wanted to leave this body, leave this shit "problem" but as I can't all I have left is to lie or convince myself that this isn't that deep. It isn't deep for him so i should just relax, get what Im given and hope for the best. Mine is 35 and i am 21, bad timing bc he's been through enough drama and heartbreakes, now he hates commitment and he's selfish so i won't get shit from him. I understand his position, we have 2 diff posititions thats the thing. Its tough. One ready to love and one drained by love. So I don't know what will i do. Just hang in there, next year I start college and im moving away. All im asking for is to know if he sees me as a friend or anything. I don't know, i miss him all the time. Saw him last Friday last and bc i had to give him smth, if not, im sure he woulsnt have texted me. Now, Wednesday, ik he won't say anything if I dont.

[postempestas]

Cut** cut him off hahah

[Opinion Owner]

That sucks, I’m also hurting for you bc I can relate 100%. It’s gonna be a pain in the ass but I bet you’re gonna be much better off after u cut him off. I’m also still preparing myself for the heartbreak that I’ll get once I have the balls to cut him off lmao so you’re not alone, I hope everything works out in the end! ❤️

[postempestas]

Same boo. Very good luck 💋

[Anonymous]

Bad idea to be fuck buddy's with a high quality man. I agreed to it thinking it would eventually lead to a relationship and he treated my nice and for a while I wasike his girlfriend and the sex was great.
Then one day he dropped me and I found out he was now in a serious relationship with another woman when he told me he wasn't looking to settle down.
I've met her and frankly she is just better than me in every way imaginable. She's smarter, better educated, has a better career, rich parents, prettier, taller, slider, bigger breasts, nicer bum, better teeth, funny, charming, fluent in 3 languages, athletic, skis, climbs mountains. Here I am kinda short thick and very basic. Apperently I was his moped, means a girl who's fun to ride but a guy doesn't want his friends to see him. I feel like he ruined me for every guy that follows and it hurts.

[postempestas]

I'm sorry to hear that boo :( He played you like shit. But dont think mine is a liar.. Not trying to sound delusional, but he's a very nice guy. He has other problems that won't allow anything to happen between us. Not under my control, its all his problem.

[Opinion Owner]

My guy technically wasn't a liar. He basically said he wasn't interested in a relationship with me at that time. Think I was aiming two high.

[postempestas]

Probably. But what a dick move to use you as side chick. These dudes don't know shame or empathy. He will suffer, dont worry, he will eventually get what he deserves, thats how this goes.

[JCtoyota]

I had an arrangement like that a long time ago when I was younger. It was good and we had a lot of fun together. I think she wanted more but I was too wild and too selfish when I was young to commit like that. There's times now though I wished I had of pursued something more steady with her. She would have made a good partner.
She's passed away now. Died a couple of years ago from complications related to her epilepsy. I actually still think about her a lot.

[postempestas]

Yeah, I've met this guy whos just like that, he doesn't care and he's selfish, he's old now tho but he won't commit with anyone rn, not with me, so he may regret it in the future. We tried once but didn't work bc of him, now I don't know what the heck will this end like. Probably each one on their own. :/ Ik he would make a great partner too, he's exacrly the type of man I need, but he won't do it now.

[JCtoyota]

Well I hope good things come to you either way.

[RobT312]

I think you gave yourself the best advice... keep your feelings at a minimum if you don’t want anything more than an fb. I had a 3some with my girlfriend and The third was a fuckbuddy for me. A connection only because he’s my friend, but no romantic connection or desire to have a romantic relationship. Great pleasure and great sex but no attachment or feelings other than friends

[Andres77]

It was usually... arrive, kiss, get naked, fuck our brains out, order pizza, drink beer and watch movies and laugh and either sleep over... which meant more fucking or go home.

[postempestas]

Basically what i have.. But dont know if he considers me a friend at least

[Andres77]

I hope that more of your needs are being met beyond the physical.

[YesICan]

I don't really engage in those types of scenarios cause most of the time they don't end well. I understand that life is hard and that we all will have some trauma at some point, but intentionally putting myself in that situation? No, I'll pass.

[t-8900]

I've turned the offers for that stuff down personally so couldn't say. I had sex casual once... wasn't for me. Found out I'm a demi so that's that.

[JHNS98]

The long and short of it is "none". I have no experience with fuckbuddies, or girlferiends for that matter.

[boltfox20]

I knew that feeling. I didn't have a single romantic or sexual relationship until I was 31.

I don't know how you're feeling about it, but I know that it sucked for me. Legit needed therapy for it, after meeting my fiancé.

Trust me though, if you are having a rough time of it, there will be someone, eventually. And that someone will be worth the wait. :)

[JHNS98]

@boltfox20 I\m actually looking for a therapist to figure out some attachment stuff. Even posted a question about it.

Yeah, people always say "you will find someone" or whatever, but that's not really helpful, is it?

[Aussie-guy]

Mine have been mostly amazing. Have had a couple start getting attached, but otherwise its been simple, objectified fucking of each other.

[EaterPeter]

None. My ex was my fb. I was fb and friends with benefits for her.

[EaterPeter]

In fb situation mostly guys benefits

[EaterPeter]

guy benefits*

[postempestas]

Thats my case aswell. My fb is also my ex. Im not in love, yet, again, but i do feel like im spending time with a crush now, its been a month, i don't think i will be able to do this much longer.

[EaterPeter]

Let them go already its not going to be easy either way. Try to hold onto them they leave any ways that many months/years of your life get wasted

[EaterPeter]

And you would be left with baggage to carry

[postempestas]

I will soon. I can't rn, my family is going for holiday for a month and I don't want to be alone here mourning what I've lost. I prefer more souls in the house or else imma cry my head off daily or god knows. Plus is winter and it makes me depressed enough. And its not like i see him too often, once a week at most.

[EaterPeter]

You have to promise yourself and keep that promise. just until your family is back. Be honest with your self or you will find yourself in downward spiral.

[postempestas]

I know and I don't want that. But can't deny there's a small part of myself that tells me "what if in that month things change", i dont see how they could change, i dont see him falling for me aswell. He's an old dog, he won't do that. But if nothing changes, yes, i will promise myself that. Im very decided.

[EaterPeter]

It did not changed for me even after 12 years. So, you get to decide for yourself

[Wise4myage]

Never had one yet, but I bet it would be lots of fun.

[Slim57]

I miss everything except the sex honestly, it was short lived, maybe she caught feelings but I doubt it, I know i didn't

[Heartache0405]

Never had one, never plan to

[JosyJosy]

pretty great due to no damn feelings :D

[Tstrbrainer]

Never had any. Want to be mine? 😃

[Tstrbrainer]

If he is trustworthy, you can stay

[Golden_God]

I don’t know, because @ChefPapiChulo is mad at me.

[fonduegirl]

I'd want one

[B4852]

I haven't had one.