a successful friends with benefits is when it doesn't end with situationship, romantic relationship or heartbreak.
Yes... my sister. She went through a divorce, then she met this guy that he went through a divorce himself, so they both didn't want to commit, but decided to be fuck buddies, if one needed it they would agree to see each other but with no commitment attached and they been doing that for 7 years now. Still buddies.
You're welcome
Got one going on right now that's been going for almost a year now.
and do you feel that it's helpful in any way?
Sure I do. It takes care of my physical needs and urges and his as well and he's a good friend that I enjoy also spending time with.
So how is it not aboyfriend then?
You 1 agree to see other people? i just dont get the concept of it
Please explain
@ItsMykolaJenkins
Ok yes I can see whoever I want because I'm not in a relationship. I can sleep with who I want.
In a relationship there are certain things that both parties or each other because it's part of the relationship. There are certain expectations in relationships. Certain things you do or don't. do in a relationship. In a friend's with benefits situation there are no expectations really. If you're horny and they are horny you know you have someone that can take care of your physical needs if you want them to. You can go hangout and hookup and then leave. No expectations.
With a friend with benefits they're your friend, not boyfriend. You can like them, hangout with them, you definitely find them physically attractive but you're not in love with them. You are with a significant other.
Oh i see
I sometimes feel my boyfriend see me as such but then he says he loves me
And never cheats on me
But still not sure about comitting
So yeah
Thansk for answer
So how do you know you are not in love with your friends with benefits?
Whats being in love for you then?
Opinion
73Opinion
I had one for about half a year, though it was only successful because I thought we were in a relationship where she just didn't have much time. Like she invited me to her house to meet her parents which was what caused the misunderstanding.
I think maybe... a month or two later? I was starting to open up, and stop pining over previous relationships that were just awful, and said something like "I'm glad to be your boyfriend" or something like that. She was like nope, we're just fuck buddies. It hurt, but seeing as that was the paradigm for that long, it was pretty good.
I accepted that and just never talked to her again.
I guess it depends on what you consider a successful friends with benefits relationship to be?
I would say that if you hooked up with someone and had sex, preferably more than once, you never got into a seriously relationship with them. When it ended, they were still on speaking terms... then yes, I have witnessed several successful friends with benefits situations.
But if you consider successful friends with benefits situations, to mean they start off as fuck buddies, and then builds into a long term committed relationship that eventually leads to marriage and children... then NO I have never witnessed that.
The whole fuck buddy relationship is intended to be about nothing more then sex, so as long as the sex happens at least once without any drama, feelings or arguments... then it's a success to me, and this happens often.
I mean close friends being so close they are comfortable with sex
No, I have never seen preexisting friends have sex and not having seen it turn complicated. One or the other gets their feelings hurt, or it becomes a seriously relationship... which means it was never truly a fuck buddy situation for one or the other.
What I have never seen happen is that they have sex, and everything stays as it was prior to sex.
Noted
Definitely know it’s possible because my friends with benefits wanted to date me. We met up, had sex, 69 all of that good stuff. We bonded over music and anime and all of that and he kept in touch.
The next meet up, he wanted to take me out. He didn’t need to, but he wanted to. Took me to an expensive restaurant I chose and to a haunted house. Didn’t expect sex afterwards and took me home and stayed in touch.
At that time, I didn’t want a relationship, so I just kind of went MIA. I felt bad but that’s just how it was. He ended up getting in a relationship with another girl, long term.
I have had a few guys who were friends with benefits initially who just wanted to keep in touch long term, whether it be sex involved or not. I think friends with benefits only evolves past that if both parties are of course down with it, or if the other person just has a really cool personality. Sex is kind of a shallow act that doesn’t really require much connection between the two people, but the conversations you have in between can really form a connection, it doesn’t really matter if you already had sex…
You say it's possible but then describe a situation where it wasn't. The question was "when it doesn't end with situationship, romantic relationship or heartbreak" but you ended after having sex and hanging out twice because "(you) didn't want a relationship". Which means you were unable to just have sex with the guy without it turning into a relationship.
It sounds like you had a one night stand with a follow up date, then ghosted. Not exactly a working ongoing friends with benefits situation.
@zeitgeist057 Lol, first of all, you just assumed all of that. We stopped hanging out because he got into an entirely different relationship with a different girl. It was nothing having to do with him wanting to date me, and it would have continued as it was but I just didn’t want to hang out as frequently as he did.
I also had this experience with a different guy who also wanted to date me, after it initially was a one night stand. We hung out often, most times not having sex. It didn’t happen because I moved states. In fact, I could probably hit him up right now and he’d probably still be down to date me.
The point of my answer was to show it is possible, me personally I didn’t want to date the first guy not because I just wanted sex, but because I had other stuff going on. Most of the time it’s the man who doesn’t want the relationship, anyway.
I can 100% still have sex with a guy who I want a relationship from/or who wants a relationship with me (if he’s cool about it) in fact, I’ve had a guy who didn’t want a relationship but I did, he denied me, but we still hook up here and there. It’s not really a big deal for me.
I didn’t make the assumption, it was a direct quote from you. You didn’t say the reason was “he got into an entirely different relationship with another girl”. You said (and you can go back and reread what you wrote if you don’t believe me) “at the time, I didn’t want a relationship, so I kind of went MIA”. The way you wrote it sounded like the second girl came into the scenario after you bailed, not that she was the reason you bailed.
But I’m not here to split hairs. I just want to be clear I was going off what you said. Thank you for clarifying, I now understand that you stopped hanging out because of another girl. And that you can have sex only. You or the guy will want more, but you can ignore that underlying catching feelings and just stick to sex. It sounds like you’re able to detach from your emotional desires.
@zeitgeist057 I don’t know why it mattered to you anyway. You didn’t even ask the question lol. What a trip you are!
Odd of me to comment in a public forum? What a trip! Sorry you seem offended and confused by my commenting on your answer. In my culture and from my observations of interactions here, it is quite common for people to engage in conversation initiated by others. It’s kind of the entire point of a public forum such as this.
It honestly doesn’t matter to me, it’s just light conversation, and you seem to be reacting defensively, so I apologize if you’re taking it personally.
@zeitgeist057 Whatever dude lol.
there was this extremely attractive guy, we never talked but always had this tension between us. when we started talking everything was good. then we talked about relationships. i got to know that he doesn't 'believe' in relationships. and i realised i wasn't ready to commit. we then became friends with benefits, did all kinds of things. but the 'problem' was he only talked to me whenever he was horny. NOT when i was. or anytime except that. even though our vibe matched so good we could have been best friends. he didn't want to communicate for whatever reason, i started feeling used. no matter what you are still FRIENDS with benefits
but that didn't happen in my case. this was my second friends with benefits
my first friends with benefits was my biggest mistake and his too. we let our friendship get into another level and again, the same thing. he only talked to me when he was horny.
i would rather not come into a friends with benefits relationship as now i do not want to ruin any type of relations with anyone.
That's what most men do in a friend with benefits relationship that communication only come when they in the mood... The conversation be short... you probably spark a blunt or drink a little then BOOM the sex comes in and then y'all want talk til the next time he or you wants some lol if the kitty Kat bomb that might be almost all the time thou
sounds like not so much friends and more benefits. Maybe a NSA more so than a friends with benefits.
Good for you, honey!
would you feel different if it was reciprocated when you were horny as well? Or do you not want any relationships that are purely sexual and don't have a friendship or romantic connection attached?
@zeitgeist057 good points.
oh I'm not trying to make a point, I'm just curious how she feels. It's obvious there was a problem with the situations, but I'm wondering if it could be "fixed"?
Oh I'm aware. This instance was probably very personal for her. I swear I'm not trying to be insensitive either.
That makes sense. I think a lot of women I've slept with caught feelings the more we had sex. I have heard a saying "men need sex to feel love, and women need love to feel sex", but I think it goes both ways regardless of gender, even if there is a tendency for men to be more inclined to have pleasure without as many feelings involved.
Why didn't you contact him when you were horny? Curious.
Were you scared he won't reciprocate your romantic feelings and instead would break it off?
This is an example of why it tends to not work. Men tend to prefer casual sex, while women don’t and often want more, even if it is more emphasis on the friendship.
friends with benefits type relationships tend to be more harmful or problematic for women. But it’s almost every man’s dream to have a woman he can fuck and then walk away from whenever he pleases.
It is our nature, for better or worse. Got to play the game of nature and be aware of its tendencies.
I'd like to hear it from her. But thank you for telling me things I already knew.
It depends how in tune you both are. Often your soulmate may not be your cosmic mate, which means your ultimate lover. Now your ultimate lover may be from a world that could never work as soulmates , lets say for age or social status or whatever.
Lets take for example the aristocracy of Europe, now marriages then were just for political conveniences, like a King would have his meat scene set and the Queen would have hers. This would be an open secret. All each had to do was to go hand in hand for public show. In fact then each aristocratic woman used to have her own stable of studs. These men were called , "DICKS", that's how today we call penises DICKS, since these men were just really walking talking dildos of these women. Now in such situations, many times they found they were ultimate lovers, these remained confidants and friends their full lives. But they could never marry this aristocratic woman. In such situations where for some reason such as these, these couple can never go further, then such relationships work well and forever.
However, you have to understand, you are going against nature, biologically Humans are monogamous animals, therefore you have to be a little smart to swing it. But it certainly is possible. Had I married my last girl , I always thought this would happen, since she just did not fulfil me.
Sex and intimacy are naturally intertwined.
The right emotions can lead to sex and sex can lead to the right emotions.
I’d say the more distant someone is from somebody, the more likely they can have sex without catching feelings.
The more closer they are emotionally, the more likely one of them is going to catch feelings.
I’ve never heard of a friends with benefits situation where it lasted multiple years.
Most cannot make it more than a year.
And I’ve heard so many stories where someone eventually catches feelings.
I think only way it can work is if you’re more strangers than friends—like acquaintances. But not someone you’re emotionally close to. Otherwise, it’s only a matter of time before someone catches feelings.
I’ve done friends with benefits once. After 4-6 months, they caught feelings for me, and I needed to end things. (For their own sake, so they didn’t grow more attached.)
I’ve never tried it again as I learned the hard way.
And I read a lot stories of people experiencing the same thing. Sex will eventually lead to someone catching feelings.
A month may be okay, or even several months. But several years, with a close friendship? I haven’t heard of that.
Yes, it is possible to have a successful "friends with benefits" or "fuck buddy" relationship, although it requires clear communication, mutual understanding, and certain boundaries.
Both parties should have a clear understanding of the nature of the relationship and their expectations. It is important to discuss boundaries, emotional involvement, and any other relevant factors to ensure that both individuals are on the same page.
Enter only into the arrangement willingly and with mutual consent. It is crucial to respect each other's boundaries and regularly check in to ensure that both individuals are still comfortable with the arrangement.
It is important for both individuals to have a certain level of emotional maturity to handle a casual sexual relationship without developing romantic expectations or becoming overly attached.
Both partners should treat each other with respect, kindness, and consideration. This includes being honest about intentions, practicing safe sex, and maintaining confidentiality.
Establishing and respecting boundaries is essential in a friends with benefits relationship. This can include defining what activities are acceptable, determining how often you will see each other, and discussing expectations regarding exclusivity or involvement with other people.
It's difficult but if y'all both just stick to it being mutual and keep it that way... it should be ok LoL I don't know because what if y'all being messing around for years eventually some feelings or some care going surface honestly if you do decide to get a friend's with benefits keep it short term. If that person want more than y'all should sit down and talk about it and come to agreement somewhere also set boundaries too like where u draw that don't cross line lol but I don't know none of my dick Buddies was around for a long time cause they started tripping and acting funny but this my best advice 😂😂😌
A work associate, and we had sex several times... she sucked me probably 5 or 6 times... BUT when it came my turn to eat her out... I didn't do it and only fucked her. The whole thing went to hell at that point... and she hated my guts from then on and the stupid part,,,,,,,,, she tried to smear me all over the department we worked in... I had lied to her and told her I had fucked the bosses secretary... and the A Hole told that around the department... could have gotten me fired. We never spoke civilly after that... Never again fuck someone I worked with. A real nightmare.
Sounds like it was your own fault
Why would you get sucked off multiple times and not eat her out? How vain are you? God.
Tell me the whole story, sweetheart.
Men often think they can treat women less than because they've seen them naked.
How dehumanizing.
Good.
I don't want to hear your justifications, but thanks for the offer.
Okay okay
yes years ago in my 20nts a was about 27 my boyfriend wouldn't sleep with me a lot he ended up leaving me at 29 for another girl he obv told me about it and wanted to remain friends but i didn't want to renain friends then i ended up becoming a fk buddy with his cousin for a few month then met my ex i just broke up with a year ago before i went out with my ex a got checked up at clinic just to make sure everything was ok he was a knew boyfriend and i didn't want to just sleep with him without being checked just incase i have respect that way because i really want relashionships to work but they always just take the piss out me am happy free for a few years right now
I hate to say anything is impossible, but I haven't experienced it. I would love to have hot sex with many women I find physically attractive but don't want to go into romantic or situationship interactions with. I just don't know how to go about it. All my sexual interactions are either the start of a relationship or a ONS sexual release with no follow up. Sometimes that might get extended to a one week stand or another hook up down the road. But I've never had a consistent fuck buddy relationship. Anyone that wants to hook up that much typically wants some emotional connection as well, and I have to admit I get off on it, too. I totally have stranger fantasies though. Just no idea how to initiate or make them come true.
How do you define successful? I've seen them where they both got what they wanted for a while and then eventually went their own ways without apparent repercussions.
I didn't interview them afterwards to see what their true feelings were.
Close friends having sex
Generally the only reason friends with benefits starts is, the person who says they want it only, is basically never able to go out, but, still wants that "release"
the girl that i like, who likes me back, says she doesn't want to date because she's just too busy as she works two jobs, works-out and is always traveling, so she feels like she just couldn't date. Like me, she also doesn't want marriage or kids, so it's not like we need to date to marry but, I'm not really sure what we are at this point. We've not fucked yet
It’s absolutely possible. But it really means BOTH parties have to be very clear and honest with what they want. I have this with someone. When she or i get into relationships we don't really talk or hang out to respect our partner. But if/when that relationship ends, we talk as friends, meet up to fuck, etc. we like each other for that but do not see one another as a lifelong romantic partner. We even send each other videos of the other in action. Haha.
But yes it is possible, its just tough because generally someone does catch feelings. So not all end up like the one i have. This has been going on for 5 years. Others I've been in always end in someone (90% the other person) wanting more. And so it ends.
I had one with a close friend once. We had an agreement we would tell the other if we developed feelings for each other.
I think that's the biggest problem with them. Sex brings people closer together. We eventually grew apart, not because of that though.
We were both doing other things in our life and then she moved away.
They can work out for some people. Everyone does things differently though.
It's is definitely possible but in most cases it's not that easy to achieve. Having sex with someone is a very intimate thing to do and in most cases at least 1 person ends up developing feelings for the other one. Sadly it's most likely to end in a heart break situation when the feelings are not mutual.
My recent friend with benefits was really amazing, he kinda just got it and went with the flow. We kinda just clicked. Then he wanted more of a relationship. I was okay with it at first. He took me out on dates was a gentleman. Wanted to post eachother on social media etc. later on down the line I find out that this friends with benefits who wanted a relationship had a wife and a child with cancer at home…(fyi- I've never been more disgusted before) so yea friends with benefits it’s difficult because it’s hard to trust and see the full picture especially when feelings are involved.
Yes iv had loads in the past. Never had a problem with them. We just used each other for sex. No strings.
However my current boyfriend was only ment to be a friends with benefits but he said no to the benefits part so we became friends and then fell for each other.
I've had several over the years. I'm not familiar with the term "situationship" so I can't speak to that, but when we're both single we have at it when someone is in a relationship we don't. I've never had any problems. What is it that all the "no" peope are experiencing?
One of the biggest problem with this is you sleeping with an friends with benefits when you just started dating someone. Then things get real and they find out you were hooking up with the friends with benefits or you trying to stay friends when you are in your relationship. It's a ticking time bomb in so many ways. Also why waste your time when you can focus on a healthy relationship. If you got time for the friends with benefits then you got time for a possible long term partner.
Oh I wish it could be possible!
The key is not to extend it and give mixed signals or ignore the mixed signals from the other part.
The only way for it to work is to be an open honest one.
All my previous long committed relationships, started on the basis of friends with benefits agreement. The romance crawls in once the sex is great and the conversations become endless.
Also Age plays a major role. It can work when you are between 18-28. After that it feels weird and you find yourself wanting to turn every relationship into a committed one!
Yea guys you can't be having amazing sex and don't think she going get a little crazy from it... a person once said to me stop sticking your whole dick in women and think they not going act crazy😂😂
😂👌🏼
It's a very difficult thing to do as feelings usually follow. I have had one guy where it actually worked and that was in college. I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend and neither knew we were doing it. We were just friends and it was just sex as we cared about our boyfriend and girlfriend. It lasted three years and he ended up marrying his girlfriend and I ended the relationship with my boyfriend. It worked great for us but it doesn't for everyone.
u I’ve had a few. They’re not hard to achieve if you both have set clear boundaries and communicate with each other.
I wish. Never seen it but gotta to be possible in someway. Most humans be emotional though and those emotions get mixed in.
What about close friendships and fucking? 🤔
Because dating isn't next level, it's just a different role :/
At some point, someone will begin to catch feelings for the other, become possessive, controlling, most likely the dude, and end up fucking, so to speak, up a good thing. Once all that clingy shit starts the other will become resentful and before you know it, you realize the two of you have been boyfriend, girlfriend all along. Thats when the cops bust you for joyriding. Or worse, someone forgets to take the pill and gets pregnant. 18 years is along time for just joyriding.
Oh, and for the moderators, I am anti-red pill, I am not a PUA or an INCEL. I am not hating on men or women or making stereotypical assumptions. I am just pointing out how life ends up for some.
I think as long as there's clear communication throughout the 'relationship', and that both parties needs and boundaries are respected, then I think it can work!
I had one, and it was what I needed at the time. We both loved cuddling and going on dates, but I couldnt see myself being with that person in the long run, and they felt the same. That relationship kept me sane, and helped create balance in my life.
I had this type of situation once. She was much younger, it lasted about 8 months and then she met a guy she wanted to date. I made it clear to her from the beginning, if either of us met someone we would have to make the other person aware. We left on amicable terms. I have to admit for 22 she was a mature person about the whole thing. We met at a wedding and clicked. No one knew about us, we just wanted that side to ourselves.
Yes I had a close friend who knew I was in a long-distance relationship and because a friend with benefits. While sleeping together her and I looked for a boyfriend for her. Eventually, we found her a good guy who she married. We still text and talk on the phone sometimes, she is my dearest friend, but we don't talk about our past and of course we don't sleep together anymore.
I've only ever been involved in one arrangement of that nature and really it wasn't even to satisfy any desires it was just because I was pissed off because of a breakup and needed to blow off some steam with no strings, I didn't even bring it up she came to me.
Other then that one arrangement I have no interest in being in that kind of relationship/arrangement it does absolutely nothing for me.
Yes, many of them.
Very positive response. I like it.
I'm learning sm from you.
Really?
My brother has been in a few I have known worked out well with them just being friends now the issue with it is when people get into them wanting more or hoping for more
Yeah it's all about clear set rules and boundaries and communication.
Very rarely but it could work if both parties eventually work towards it with open and honest communication
Yes! I’ve had a friend who was able to do this successfully, I personally wouldn’t be able to do it.
If I understand to rules and regs for a successful FB relationship. You are not even supposed to acknowledge one another outside the bedroom. So if I understand the question. I would have to say no.
no, cause that kind of relationship isn't healthy and i based on lies cause someone always feels something and if by some miracle they dont, sex is better with emotions anyways so its a total waste of time
Shouldn't be any harder than any other way to get a successful relationship started and how it started really has little affect on how it is going to progress, grow and survive.
When you define short intimate fun as success, then Fu.. buddy relationship can be successful.
Would love it to be possible, but it either ends up with one of the two getting more involved than the other, and this breeds resentment. Done it, it was fine for a while, but it ended up with the two if us completely drifting apart.
Possibly best to have an unspoken chemistry that thrives on flirting.
never heard of it working out, i've always seen people so hurt no matter what. it also never lasts forever. how can it? it's not a good foundation to build on.
Yeah a couple of my friends were bonking then literally around the same time found someone they wanted to date. So they ended it and we're all still friends
I have many friends with benefits AND I GO OUT WITH THEM 4-5 times a week. We go out for dinner or clubbing then back to my house for a night of fucking
what's your secret, Jerre. Aside from hyperspermia, we all know that's a big pull :D
@zeitgeist057 an 8” cock and lots of cum
how deep lol literally
but really there must be more to it that that. my dad has a giant schlong and no skill whatsoever with women.
m yes, a couple of times... among friends, and acquaintances of mine
more of a friends with benefits, though...
I love movie. The scene where she is showing him how to cross the street lol. That's exactly how new yorkers do it.
I was in a friends with benefits relationship for 5 years and it caused more damage than good memories. I do not encourage friends with benefits relationships to anyone.
Yes. Had one or two and I know of friends who've made it work as well. Ofcourse they always end as someone is moving on and doesn't feel good to be left behind but that's part of being in such a situation.
I've made it work, I have a couple of long-standing FWBs at the moment and we are on the same page of what we want from things. We communicate well enough that if anything changes we will talk about it.
Most of the time it ends up with one person wanting more then sex, then if you get a boyfriend or girlfriend they won't be cool with you keeping in touch with your former fuck buddy.
My friend from college had one. It lasted for 4-5 months. It ended because the girl moved to another. County. They still keep in touch.
It’s very rare for it to work out long-term I think. Possible but rare.
Why do you ask?
Never heard of it and never would do it either. But I'm sure it has happened at some point.
What's a successful one? Pretty sure they all end the same way. It's a natural thing to develop feeling for someone your being intimate with. Guess it partly depends on your mentality.
i had one with a girl 40 years ago for ten years and we both enjoyed it we stoped as we got wed all most on the same day and I have missed her every day sence..
I've been in one before. We are both still friends.
Only when the gurl is poly.
Personal experience or was that a dig at me?
I don't know you so lofting a dig at you on purpose would be impossible. Butnyes, mpersonal experience. Every friends with benefits relationship I've had with a jonpoly girl ended in her being very upset that I didn't want a real relationship. Poly girls don't usually expect that because that's what poly means. Unfortunately, poly girls are outnumbered by poly guys like 1000 to 1 so..
A lot of people on this app know that my ideal relationship would be poly. So yes, a dig.
Poly boundaries are different for everyone. Please don't assume things.
Of course everyone is a little different. That's why I said "usually." But expecting something long term is nevertheless adjacent to the same sort of commitment that is monogamy. I'm saying when a poly girl has multiple long term commitments she tends to get less hurt at the loss of one, which makes having the long term commitment in the first place seem a little perfunctory.
Depends on the individual. So no.
how would it be "successful" that it doesn't end with a relationship? also what's a situationship?
... also no
Close friends having sex ✌️
Well, maybe don't assume things?
Some people do not experience romantic attraction, including me. They are still capable of emotional bonds and sex.
Yeah, the old conservative talk. Gimme a break!
you're 22, you don't know what happiness is. you will burn through the prettiest years of your life and all your male friends and you'll be lonely and forgotten at 30
Again, don't assume things.
1. I'm a virgin. Haven't slept with my boyfriend, let alone my male friends.
I think it's hard for anyone to maintain such distance only for sex. It'll eventually get you feeling for each other. It's not impossible but it's also hard to achieve possible. 😀
I have done this successfully a few times. Usually, it has ended with her getting into a real relationship and we just move on but continue to be friends
Yes I have this with a few I just show up an they go getting all silly like their very happy to do what ever it takes for them to make me cum so I'll give them more.
God Bless
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