a successful friends with benefits is when it doesn't end with situationship, romantic relationship or heartbreak.
Yes... my sister. She went through a divorce, then she met this guy that he went through a divorce himself, so they both didn't want to commit, but decided to be fuck buddies, if one needed it they would agree to see each other but with no commitment attached and they been doing that for 7 years now. Still buddies.
Got one going on right now that's been going for almost a year now.
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I guess it depends on what you consider a successful friends with benefits relationship to be?
I would say that if you hooked up with someone and had sex, preferably more than once, you never got into a seriously relationship with them. When it ended, they were still on speaking terms... then yes, I have witnessed several successful friends with benefits situations.
But if you consider successful friends with benefits situations, to mean they start off as fuck buddies, and then builds into a long term committed relationship that eventually leads to marriage and children... then NO I have never witnessed that.
The whole fuck buddy relationship is intended to be about nothing more then sex, so as long as the sex happens at least once without any drama, feelings or arguments... then it's a success to me, and this happens often.
I had one for about half a year, though it was only successful because I thought we were in a relationship where she just didn't have much time. Like she invited me to her house to meet her parents which was what caused the misunderstanding.
I think maybe... a month or two later? I was starting to open up, and stop pining over previous relationships that were just awful, and said something like "I'm glad to be your boyfriend" or something like that. She was like nope, we're just fuck buddies. It hurt, but seeing as that was the paradigm for that long, it was pretty good.
I accepted that and just never talked to her again.
Definitely know itās possible because my friends with benefits wanted to date me. We met up, had sex, 69 all of that good stuff. We bonded over music and anime and all of that and he kept in touch.
The next meet up, he wanted to take me out. He didnāt need to, but he wanted to. Took me to an expensive restaurant I chose and to a haunted house. Didnāt expect sex afterwards and took me home and stayed in touch.
At that time, I didnāt want a relationship, so I just kind of went MIA. I felt bad but thatās just how it was. He ended up getting in a relationship with another girl, long term.
I have had a few guys who were friends with benefits initially who just wanted to keep in touch long term, whether it be sex involved or not. I think friends with benefits only evolves past that if both parties are of course down with it, or if the other person just has a really cool personality. Sex is kind of a shallow act that doesnāt really require much connection between the two people, but the conversations you have in between can really form a connection, it doesnāt really matter if you already had sexā¦
It depends how in tune you both are. Often your soulmate may not be your cosmic mate, which means your ultimate lover. Now your ultimate lover may be from a world that could never work as soulmates , lets say for age or social status or whatever.
Lets take for example the aristocracy of Europe, now marriages then were just for political conveniences, like a King would have his meat scene set and the Queen would have hers. This would be an open secret. All each had to do was to go hand in hand for public show. In fact then each aristocratic woman used to have her own stable of studs. These men were called , "DICKS", that's how today we call penises DICKS, since these men were just really walking talking dildos of these women. Now in such situations, many times they found they were ultimate lovers, these remained confidants and friends their full lives. But they could never marry this aristocratic woman. In such situations where for some reason such as these, these couple can never go further, then such relationships work well and forever.
However, you have to understand, you are going against nature, biologically Humans are monogamous animals, therefore you have to be a little smart to swing it. But it certainly is possible. Had I married my last girl , I always thought this would happen, since she just did not fulfil me.
Sex and intimacy are naturally intertwined.
The right emotions can lead to sex and sex can lead to the right emotions.
Iād say the more distant someone is from somebody, the more likely they can have sex without catching feelings.
The more closer they are emotionally, the more likely one of them is going to catch feelings.
Iāve never heard of a friends with benefits situation where it lasted multiple years.
Most cannot make it more than a year.
And Iāve heard so many stories where someone eventually catches feelings.
I think only way it can work is if youāre more strangers than friendsālike acquaintances. But not someone youāre emotionally close to. Otherwise, itās only a matter of time before someone catches feelings.
Iāve done friends with benefits once. After 4-6 months, they caught feelings for me, and I needed to end things. (For their own sake, so they didnāt grow more attached.)
Iāve never tried it again as I learned the hard way.
And I read a lot stories of people experiencing the same thing. Sex will eventually lead to someone catching feelings.
A month may be okay, or even several months. But several years, with a close friendship? I havenāt heard of that.
there was this extremely attractive guy, we never talked but always had this tension between us. when we started talking everything was good. then we talked about relationships. i got to know that he doesn't 'believe' in relationships. and i realised i wasn't ready to commit. we then became friends with benefits, did all kinds of things. but the 'problem' was he only talked to me whenever he was horny. NOT when i was. or anytime except that. even though our vibe matched so good we could have been best friends. he didn't want to communicate for whatever reason, i started feeling used. no matter what you are still FRIENDS with benefits
but that didn't happen in my case. this was my second friends with benefits
my first friends with benefits was my biggest mistake and his too. we let our friendship get into another level and again, the same thing. he only talked to me when he was horny.
i would rather not come into a friends with benefits relationship as now i do not want to ruin any type of relations with anyone.
A work associate, and we had sex several times... she sucked me probably 5 or 6 times... BUT when it came my turn to eat her out... I didn't do it and only fucked her. The whole thing went to hell at that point... and she hated my guts from then on and the stupid part,,,,,,,,, she tried to smear me all over the department we worked in... I had lied to her and told her I had fucked the bosses secretary... and the A Hole told that around the department... could have gotten me fired. We never spoke civilly after that... Never again fuck someone I worked with. A real nightmare.
yes years ago in my 20nts a was about 27 my boyfriend wouldn't sleep with me a lot he ended up leaving me at 29 for another girl he obv told me about it and wanted to remain friends but i didn't want to renain friends then i ended up becoming a fk buddy with his cousin for a few month then met my ex i just broke up with a year ago before i went out with my ex a got checked up at clinic just to make sure everything was ok he was a knew boyfriend and i didn't want to just sleep with him without being checked just incase i have respect that way because i really want relashionships to work but they always just take the piss out me am happy free for a few years right now
I hate to say anything is impossible, but I haven't experienced it. I would love to have hot sex with many women I find physically attractive but don't want to go into romantic or situationship interactions with. I just don't know how to go about it. All my sexual interactions are either the start of a relationship or a ONS sexual release with no follow up. Sometimes that might get extended to a one week stand or another hook up down the road. But I've never had a consistent fuck buddy relationship. Anyone that wants to hook up that much typically wants some emotional connection as well, and I have to admit I get off on it, too. I totally have stranger fantasies though. Just no idea how to initiate or make them come true.
How do you define successful? I've seen them where they both got what they wanted for a while and then eventually went their own ways without apparent repercussions.
I didn't interview them afterwards to see what their true feelings were.
Itās absolutely possible. But it really means BOTH parties have to be very clear and honest with what they want. I have this with someone. When she or i get into relationships we don't really talk or hang out to respect our partner. But if/when that relationship ends, we talk as friends, meet up to fuck, etc. we like each other for that but do not see one another as a lifelong romantic partner. We even send each other videos of the other in action. Haha.
But yes it is possible, its just tough because generally someone does catch feelings. So not all end up like the one i have. This has been going on for 5 years. Others I've been in always end in someone (90% the other person) wanting more. And so it ends.
I had one with a close friend once. We had an agreement we would tell the other if we developed feelings for each other.
I think that's the biggest problem with them. Sex brings people closer together. We eventually grew apart, not because of that though.
We were both doing other things in our life and then she moved away.
They can work out for some people. Everyone does things differently though.
Generally the only reason friends with benefits starts is, the person who says they want it only, is basically never able to go out, but, still wants that "release"
the girl that i like, who likes me back, says she doesn't want to date because she's just too busy as she works two jobs, works-out and is always traveling, so she feels like she just couldn't date. Like me, she also doesn't want marriage or kids, so it's not like we need to date to marry but, I'm not really sure what we are at this point. We've not fucked yet
It's difficult but if y'all both just stick to it being mutual and keep it that way... it should be ok LoL I don't know because what if y'all being messing around for years eventually some feelings or some care going surface honestly if you do decide to get a friend's with benefits keep it short term. If that person want more than y'all should sit down and talk about it and come to agreement somewhere also set boundaries too like where u draw that don't cross line lol but I don't know none of my dick Buddies was around for a long time cause they started tripping and acting funny but this my best advice 😂😂😌
It's is definitely possible but in most cases it's not that easy to achieve. Having sex with someone is a very intimate thing to do and in most cases at least 1 person ends up developing feelings for the other one. Sadly it's most likely to end in a heart break situation when the feelings are not mutual.
I've had several over the years. I'm not familiar with the term "situationship" so I can't speak to that, but when we're both single we have at it when someone is in a relationship we don't. I've never had any problems. What is it that all the "no" peope are experiencing?
Oh I wish it could be possible!
The key is not to extend it and give mixed signals or ignore the mixed signals from the other part.
The only way for it to work is to be an open honest one.
All my previous long committed relationships, started on the basis of friends with benefits agreement. The romance crawls in once the sex is great and the conversations become endless.
Also Age plays a major role. It can work when you are between 18-28. After that it feels weird and you find yourself wanting to turn every relationship into a committed one!
Yes iv had loads in the past. Never had a problem with them. We just used each other for sex. No strings.
However my current boyfriend was only ment to be a friends with benefits but he said no to the benefits part so we became friends and then fell for each other.
One of the biggest problem with this is you sleeping with an friends with benefits when you just started dating someone. Then things get real and they find out you were hooking up with the friends with benefits or you trying to stay friends when you are in your relationship. It's a ticking time bomb in so many ways. Also why waste your time when you can focus on a healthy relationship. If you got time for the friends with benefits then you got time for a possible long term partner.
It's a very difficult thing to do as feelings usually follow. I have had one guy where it actually worked and that was in college. I had a boyfriend and he had a girlfriend and neither knew we were doing it. We were just friends and it was just sex as we cared about our boyfriend and girlfriend. It lasted three years and he ended up marrying his girlfriend and I ended the relationship with my boyfriend. It worked great for us but it doesn't for everyone.
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