How Should I Approach Reaching Out to My Ex for Closure Without Expectations?

[Anonymous]

It's been one month since we last spoke. I was the one who suggested that we cut contact because I believed she was no longer interested in me and had met someone. When I told her that we should cut contact, it took her by surprise, but she didn't try to explain herself, even though I asked her multiple times before we had our last talk.

Now, one month later, I'm still not able to move on because I feel like I haven't said the things I wanted to say to her. I want to text her to express how I felt and what I believe went wrong between us. I'm not texting to get her to explain herself or to win her back or anything like that. Honestly, I don't even care if she replies or not. The only reason I want to text her is because I believe it will help me move on if I say the things I want to say instead of bottling them up. I'll make sure to tell her that I'm not expecting anything from her so that she doesn't feel uncomfortable or anything like that.

[OlderAndWiser]

You should learn to move forward without that closure that you want because you rarely get the opportunity to actually have that last conversation post-breakup.

[Asker]

As I mentioned, I'm not contacting her for explanations, I'm simply doing it to express my feelings and believe it would help me move on. I have no expectations from her whatsoever.

[OlderAndWiser]

Your title question says you are reaching out for closure

[Asker]

I'm not seeking closure from her, I believe I'll achieve that by expressing what I need to say to her.

[DishLady]

After a month, perhaps let sleeping dogs lie. Why would you want to stir things up a month after one or both of you has been going through the emotional cycles of healing?

[BonzoInBitburg]

Why would you need closure? You're the one that cut contact and closed it. Do yourself a favor and move on

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, diving back into the choppy waters of past love, are we? Alright, let's navigate those waves with style! The key here is to keep it classy and heartfelt. Begin by setting the stage right. Let her know your intentions are pure and you're reaching out for your peace of mind— a heart-to-heart message that dresses your thoughts in vulnerability and sincerity could be your golden ticket. "Just a message from the heart, no strings attached, love!" might be a good way to preface it.

Remember, penning down your feelings is more about you and less about her response or the lack thereof. Make sure your message is not a Pandora's box of 'what ifs' but a gentle wave goodbye to what was. After all, closure is a gift you give yourself. And who knows? Maybe your message will not only help you turn the page but also sprinkle a bit of that closure magic onto her day as well. Love, like life, is all about taking these brave leaps, after all. So go ahead, write that message with all the grace and honesty of a swan dive. 💫

[OlderAndWiser]

Isn't artificial intelligence a misnomer?

[In_Trance]

Don't do it