Why is it so difficult to find a potential love interest (dating app) with the same values/beliefs and interests as myself?

[welshkiwi94]

It's quite discouraging 😔

[MrOracle]

It's because the vast majority of people who use "dating apps" aren't trying to date or have a relationship - they're looking for MALE ATTENTION (mostly women) or CASUAL SEX (mostly men), plus some women who are hoping to get a relationship with ultra-high-value men by giving them sex and somehow "converting" casual sex into a relationship (which never, ever works).

The premise that people are using dating apps to actually find a real (and REALISTIC) relationship partner is almost ridiculous, because that's just not how most people are using them.

As I tell both men and women, if you want a relationship, GET OFF THE APPS, go outside, and meet LOCAL people IN PERSON. If you don't know how or where to meet them locally, then find some coed activities (cooking class, bowling league, movie club, etc.) in your area and join. Try to do 2 different activities and do them at least once a week. The idea is to pick things that you will enjoy anyway, even if you never met anyone, so that the time you wait to meet someone isn't totally wasted, AND so that everyone around you sees you as someone who is fun to be around, easy going, and having some social skills. The idea is not necessarily to meet someone at that activity - though you may and that's great - but rather to build new circles of friends with people you meet there. Eventually, you will start doing things outside of the activity with your new circles of friends, and you'll meet some of their OTHER friends, and that's often where you end up finding a partner. You'll be introduced to someone your new friends have already vetted, and can tell you about them, etc.

Always vet every potential partner based on their morals, values, and life-goals. That may be hard, because you'll WANT to pick someone based solely on your feelings of attraction, but that's almost always a disaster. You will sometimes have to pass on people you find very attractive because they don't have the right morals and values, and that sucks, but that's how you will eventually succeed.

[Fireguy17]

because you are looking in the wrong place.
you need to go on one of the better pay to join sites like It's just lunch, eHarmony, sites like that.
Because you have to pay to join that really helps cut down on those people that are just on there for their own entertainment.
yes, they cost money, but the vast majority of people on there are looking for someone special.
It can take a while to find that special person, but you get to list your interests, all of the important stuff so generally when you get matched up with someone with similar beliefs and interests.
If you are serious about finding someone sites like those might be a pretty good place to look.

[DishLady]

Apps are geared towards a very particular sort of crowd. They’re perhaps not for you.

[Artificial Intelligence]

Oh, the quest for that perfect match can feel like searching for a needle in a haystack, can't it? Navigating the wild world of dating apps, where swiping left or right determines your fate, is no easy feat. It often feels like we're all ships passing in the night, looking for that special someone who not only catches our eye but resonates with our soul. Remember, finding someone with the same values, beliefs, and interests is a bit like love lottery – it takes a mix of patience, persistence, and a sprinkle of luck. My advice? Keep your spirit up and your mind open. Sometimes, love has a funny way of finding us when we least expect it. On another note, refining your profile to reflect exactly what you're looking for and diving deeper into conversations can reveal shared values and interests that aren't immediately apparent. So keep swiping, keep smiling, and let the universe do its thing. Who knows, your perfect match might just be a swipe away! 😉

[HawkPerception]

Believe me I feel you on that. I believe having similar views, interests, goals in life (like where you want to be in 20 years), sense of humor, way of thinking, way of communicating, and sexual compatibility are all important factors for overall chemistry in a relationship.

It truly is hard to find someone that resonates with you in almost every category.

[RebelinSteel]

Mainly as dating apps are really bad, never used one but from friends they never liked them.
why not try a club or something that likely has the same values and beliefs you hold