How do you approach the subject of becoming exclusive?

[punchxcore]

So I've been seeing a guy for almost 3 weeks now but I've known him for almost a month. We started talking for a week before going on or first date. So we've been on at least 3 or 4 dates now. Everyone seems to think he is my boyfriend because I see him quite often during the week and some nights I end up staying over at his house, but the subject of us becoming exclusive hasn't came up, but we've both made mention that we really like each other. The other night he asked me what I wanted for my birthday and I told him he didn't have to get me anything, and I also didn't know what I wanted. He also made mention of celebrating my birthday with me the day of, or day after my birthday.

But anyways, would it be too soon to be talking in terms of becoming exclusive, or should I just wait it out for a little while longer and see where it's headed? I mean, it's quite obvious that we both like each other, but I'm not sure if he's reached the point where he feels he wants to become exclusive, but I think it'd only make sense for us to become exclusive if I'm almost literally playing the role of his girlfriend.

Is it normal to be seeing a guy, and staying over at his house a lot, but still not reaching the stages of taking it a step further? I haven't done a lot of dating like this (with my ex we just went right into a relationship), so I'm not sure if it's normal to be seeing a guy, staying over at his house and still not claiming girlfriend/boyfriend status. It just hasn't came up in conversation, so I don't know if he's trying to see how I feel about him (even though I've told him I really liked him too) or he doesn't want to get involved like that too soon.

Should I take initiative and approach the subject and see how he feels about becoming exclusive, or would it be too early to even think about the subject? Since we've only known each other for almost a month.

Updates

+1 y

Can you ask where you stand with a guy without ever asking of becoming exclusive? Cause I don't know how to respond when my friend's ask me what my status with him is. They think he's my boyfriend and I just tell them that we're dating.

[coolgirl81]

Sweetie, I'd definately wait a while. I know a month seems like a long time but what's going on through a guy's mind at this point is trying to figure out if you two would be good together and getting to know you. I'll even tell you a secret and I'm not lying: guys absolutely hate "the talk." It's the conversation that girls bring up about "feelings" and "where things are going" and all that serious stuff. The reason they hate it is because of the pressure and they do not do well under pressure. In fact, it turns them off. They have to be the one to choose to be with you in exclusive terms. You can't force a guy to think, say, do, or feel something just because you want him to, especially on your timetable. With all that said, my advice is to not say anything, go with the flow, enjoy his company and when/if he wants to be exclusive, you will know. He will either introduce you to people as his girlfriend without actually talking to you about it (some guys do that to basically let you know of their decision without "the talk") or he will sit down and talk to you about it at some point. It may take 2-3 months or a few weeks, but be patient and let the dominos fall where they may. Don't let your feelings and emotions dictate the decisions you make, which is probably the #1 mistake girls make when it comes to romantic interests. It's important that you learn that guys are simple creatures. They do not have strong emotions and nor do they think about STUFF like women do. They deal with what's at hand in simple terms. For example: a guy may ask a girk "you didn't like me did you".and a girl may get this knee jerk reaction and start questioning everything and going into this really long thought/emotional explanation process. When actually all the guy wanted was a simple "yes" or "no" answer. haha You have to understand the psychology of the male brain. And once girls learn to "get" a guy, they'll have them wrapped around their finger. Just be careful, don't push him. :) Good luck.

[Cutenshy]

Not sure how old this thread is, there is no date, but I just had something similar. We dated like twice or three times a week for a month and had sex after the 6th date. He blatantly told me he stopped seeing other people and likes to concentrate on dating one person at a time, that's when I knew how he felt about me. Yet, I STILL didn't ask because I feel it's the guys job. I simply told him it made me jealous when he said a girl wanted to go out with him (and he wasn't sure since we weren't in a rs yet), and I told him he was the only guy I was sleeping with. I dated a little bit, but he was the only guy I saw a lot and slept with, so really liked. I was honest with my feelings without being dramatic about it, or asking HIM to be exclusive. He ended up asking me the start of our last date and now we're together. To be honest, I was the one unsure, but he seemed to know right away. If the guy wants it I think he'll ask and will be very apparent about it as long as he knows how you feel about him too!

[likelyOK]

Everyone is different to be honest the last guy I was seeing wanted to be exclusive almost right away and i brought up by asking what he wanted. I did not even say what I wanted.
The thing is other than the Birthday thing, you have not really said anything that makes me sure he is really into you.
But bottom line is, it is NEVER too early to ask if it's what you want, you don't want to waste too much time. There is lots of other fish in the sea, if you want exclusivity someone else will give it to you.

[Little-Hippie]

wait a little longer, love.

Three weeks is kinda flooring it.

After all, it's not high school.

[coolgirl81]

Don't bring it up to your guy, at least not for a while. Right now you two are probably just dating, but certainly can see other people if either of you wish to.

[beedee]

just wanted another update! did you finally ask? I'm in the same situation, though we've been dating for a little over 2 months. and I'm positive neither one of us is seeing anyone else.