When should you be exclusive?

Question

A month, 2 months. What do you think?

rjroy3 · Accepted Answer

It's not on a schedule. It's an issue of where your heart is at.
You're either in it or you're not.

This is my personal view in regards to switching from dating into a relationship. You don't get into an exclusive relationship, unless you feel as if you love this person. End of story. If you're dating this person (preferably seeing other people as well) that is the time where you get to really open up and get to know this person. You find out if there's chemistry. You find out if your values are aligned and if she fulfills the emotional needs you have and things you want in a women. The last part is discovering if love is there. If there is no love, then don't get into an exclusive relationship.

Making someone your girlfriend/boyfriend should be a very easy decision, but you should also know who they are eyes wide open and only do so if love is there. You never want to enter into a relationship, then realize you don't love them. That's why I don't respect the view that you date exclusively because "it's time". Your heart is in it or it isn't and to put that on a time schedule is in a way disrespecting the heart.

D_Bone_Steak · Accepted Answer

Exclusive doesn't mean anything other than excluding others from romantic activity.

So to answer your question, it isn't a matter of time. it's a matter of when both partners don't feel there is a need, or benefit, for showing or receiving romantic attention from anyone else. Because doing so simply isn't wanted or needed, or in fact (I hate this word) problematic.

You'll notice this will bust up most relationships. The agreement to be exclusive will be coerced or demanded from a partner that isn't ready or wanting to, or (the more manipulative type) all to willing to lie and offer it in order to limit the probability of their "interest" running into any "interests" of their own... while maintaining their own right to find something more interesting, on the side, or to monkey branch over to if that new branch is simply... more interesting.

BrittBratt2416 · Accepted Answer

Starting the first time you ask someone on a date to the day one asks the other to be girlfriend or boyfriend. Don't ask me on a date but still think it's okay to have back up chicks that you want to go on dates to. When I go on dates I focus on one person and getting to know them, if doesn't work out then that's when I will move on. I don't want find out I spent my time talking to you then see you start dated some girl out of the blue on Facebook. That totally blind sides a person cause they thought everything was going smoothly but apparently you were just a backup until they found someone else they really clicked with. It's unfair and messed up to do that to someone.

kirbykupo · Accepted Answer

lol this is hard for me. As I've never been openly exclusive with anyone, though I am. I call him my boyfriend in on here, but he's... not. We both likes each other and I'm kinda in love with him, but we don't date. We just play video games together almost daily and hang out some days of the month. We still kiss, hug, cuddle and sometimes do sexual stuff, but we are not open or consider ourselves bf/gf. Seems really depressing when I write it all out. What a pity.

witherwing · Accepted Answer

I don't date multiple people at the same time. If I am dating someone, I drop everyone else right after the first date, if it goes well. I don't expect the other person to be exclusive with me before we decide so, though.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

When you are with one person but wishing you were with the other person, it is time to become exclusive.

XRabbitHeartX · Answer

3 months of dating and this means seeing each other regulerly and having time to get to know the other :)

Kuraj · Answer

From day one.
When I ask someone out, what I'm offering them is an exclusive committed relationship, not a test drive.

I don't do this millennial fad of "casual relationships", sometimes I see the "relationships" I have with my exes are more committed than what people call relationships these days.

musicbrain5 · Answer

Right away. I don't really understand the whole concept of dating a few people at once until you find the "right" one. To me, it's a waste of time and money, and it's not fair to rope these people unwillingly into some kind of competition where you're the prize.

guy42069 · Answer

I think when someone asks you on a date and you say yes, you should be exclusive from then on out, I completely disagree with the multiple dates at once culture I hate it. If someone asks you out, you give them the respect they deserve and that you agreed to give and you dont accept any other requests until you decide you dont like that person. If it doesn't work out, fine, then you break it off and THEN you can start dating again, it should be one by one. Thats how it should be.

Anonymous · Answer

So you and your… ugh, WTF do you even call him? A hook-up buddy? A friend with benefits?… WHATEVER he is have been hooking up for a while now.

You really like him, and you're pretty sure he really likes you back.

But you guys haven't really talked about what you're doing at all… which wouldn't be a big deal if you had any idea whether or not you're allowed to be hooking up with other people!

It's like, you don't want to be turning down other options like a total idiot if he's out there getting his freak on with a bunch of other girls. But is it too soon for you guys to become exclusive? Is it too late?

Anon85 · Answer

Our culture treats dating so casually these days that it's hard to tell. Back in the day the purpose of a romantic relationship was pretty clear - a process to decide whether they wanted to marry or not. Now that's left open-ended and vague, and I can't say that that's really a good thing altogether.

I'd say you're exclusive the minute you agree that you're actually a couple as opposed to having just gone on a couple of dates

jamieswift13 · Answer

It is just something you have to decide between the 2 of you. My current boyfriend and I spoke long distance for about 3 months before even meeting. We met and then a week later we were sure we wanted it to be official. You just have to both agree and decide what you want.

Ozanne · Answer

There is no timeline on this one. When you meet it might take a matter of days before you both realize you don't want anyone else but that person. Sometimes, people take more time or two people don't always match their feelings up at the same time, so it can take longer. But whenever that moment is that you both simply want each other and no one else is when you should be exclusive.

lumos · Answer

When you have a talk about it and come to the conclusion that you're both ready to be monogamous.
You should never assume that you're monogamous just because you've been dating for x amount of time. You'll just end up getting hurt if they thought you weren't exclusive and have been dating other people too. Clarifying that you're together is just easier, and leaves no room for misunderstandings.

Schnikies · Answer

I will only date one person at a time. Makes it easier for me to be honest. I tend to overthink everything. And I kinda expect the same from who I'm dating. If we have been on a few dates over a week or two and you still not sure about me... it's not going to happen

TooskilledforU · Answer

The second you go on a first date with someone. I always just do one date/date one person at a time, and I want/expect the other person to do the same.

Dale1982 · Answer

Straight away. You shouldn't be thinking about anybody else when you're seeing somebody

Zer0Ghost · Answer

When you ask to be. I asked to be her boyfriend during date 4 because that was when I was comfortable

ShaunaM95 · Answer

I wouldn't go any longer than 3 months without have the exclusivity talk tbh.

MarcoIsAFailure · Answer

In my opinion, if you don't want to be exclusive from the very start, you just can search for somebody else.

Can't see my in a relationship for even 5 seconds when I could imagine myself having something with someone else...

Anneki · Answer

when you agree to be exclusive, putting an arbitrary amount of time on it probably isn't the best way of going about it.

PatrickMac · Answer

If you've started seeing a girl I think you should be sexually exclusive immediately - I don't think it's right to be sleeping around with multiple people at once (not healthy). You should commit to be boyfriend/girlfriend after you've decided that you're right for each other, which I think should be minimum 2 months, ideally 3-4 months. Took me over 6 months once

godfatherfan · Answer

If your going to date, then date. If I go out with a woman I shouldn't have to wonder if she is dating another guy. But esp if your having sex. I am not going to screw a woman that I have to wonder if she has another guys cum in her.

madhatters4 · Answer

you should be exclusive whenever the two of you decide that you only want to see each other and no one else whether it's after 1 week, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years

ATuairiscean · Answer

I might be old fashioned but I would want to be exclusive from the moment you came to some sort of understanding about the nature of your relationship like arranging first date etc.

Goodwifie · Answer

I never understood this.  You're exclusive when you start dating someone.  Just glad to be no longer in the dating scene.

bente2 · Answer

I think there is no true time period. But I think a healthy relationship where both people want to be involved wouldn't take longer than two months for sure.

Emmdk · Answer

When you catch feelings. Simple as that.
Because if you don't have the feelings then there's no real thing going on between you two, but when I catch feelings I don't want to date anyone else because then it feels wrong.
But that's just me.

ThunderThighsx3 · Answer

I was exclusively my man's from day 1. Even if you're not "official" yet you both know where the mutual interest is heading, I could never focus on more people like that at the same time.

Patriot357 · Answer

I think when two people have decided when they don't want to see other because they feel like the one they are seeing now is a really good match

404filenotfound · Answer

My girlfriend and I were exclusive from the beginning

Anonymous · Answer

I don't see the point. I keep a girl I like for sex, but sometimes the conversation sucks so I need one I like to chill with.
Sometimes the one I like to chill with don't like Thai food, so I need one to gt Thai food with etc etc
May as well bang em all

pervertedjester · Answer

I don't think you should be dating if you're not ready to be exclusive from the get go.

Jer8ear6969 · Answer

I say you should give someone your full attention when dating first starts I mean it's kinda rude dating someone and then go about having sex with someone else or kissing

Cutekity · Answer

I make clear that I am sleeping with him if he is sleeping with someone else from the very beginning.

luvstoned4him · Answer

That looks exciting! Whenever you are comfortable and you both know you feel the same way for one another.

TuMeManques · Answer

For me it's when you get physical beyond say kissing. So he better not want sex on the second date or we're exclusive

CptJacksRum · Answer

if he calls you his girlfriend you should be exclusive unless agreed otherwise.

Cosytoasty · Answer

2-6 months. Takes time to get to know a girl, until then you should never put all your eggs in one basket early.

SmithMr007 · Answer

When you feel like you are meant for each other, and you think about it and it actually makes sense in a way you both suit each other

Sasisen · Answer

When you both feel like you want to have a future together

artie1983 · Answer

When you both agree you have something worth building on I guess

sawno · Answer

As soon as i am sure she is the one for me ill offer.

kaylaS91 · Answer

From day 1. I wouldn't be 'with' someone unless we were exclusive from the get-go.

Krodaxun · Answer

After three or four dates. So basicly when you decide to start a relationship.

NYCBatman · Answer

whenever you both agree on it; there's mutal trust; you've at least had sex once

WalterRadio · Answer

When you are ready to merge your finances into a single partnership.

Astoriana · Answer

It depends on the relationship. Sometimes it just doesn't feel right and you leave the door open.

SiakaS · Answer

When you mutually decide to be exclusive. step 1 is to talk it out.

TripleAce · Answer

3-4 months... sounds reasonable... up to about 5-6 even

Robsinsf53 · Answer

When you both agree on it. It all depends, how many times you see each other per week or month?

genericname85 · Answer

As soon as you're having sex at least... Otherwise as soon as you think you're getting somewhere.

GoodGuyBreakingBad · Answer

I would think after 6-8 weeks. Couples should be exclusive.

Janedoe25 · Answer

When there is a ring on it. Everything else is all fluff. Same with sex.

the_robot · Answer

When it feels right. It has nothing to do with time.

Iron_Man · Answer

I've had girls wanting to be exclusive with me on the first date when I didn't even know them

Anonymous · Answer

After you have the important conversation of "who are we?" Its as easy as talking it over.

AlwaysBelieving · Answer

No set time. When both of you are ready and have had the talk.

naraku · Answer

It's up to you to discuss and find out in your own time. You'll know. Maybe 2 months is good though.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

When you both make it clear you want to be a husband and wife to each other and get married.

CertifiedGuy · Answer

i tend to go exclusive after sex, but officially after talking about dating.

johnmichaei · Answer

when the two of you decide to do that not just one two of you

LilBitInsecure · Answer

When you realize you want to be exclusive because both ylof you want it and at least like each other a lot... No time frame necezsary

MrMysteryMan · Answer

When you two agree upon it.

When should you be exclusive?

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