What do you think?
When should you be exclusive?
What do you think?
It's not on a schedule. It's an issue of where your heart is at.
You're either in it or you're not.
This is my personal view in regards to switching from dating into a relationship. You don't get into an exclusive relationship, unless you feel as if you love this person. End of story. If you're dating this person (preferably seeing other people as well) that is the time where you get to really open up and get to know this person. You find out if there's chemistry. You find out if your values are aligned and if she fulfills the emotional needs you have and things you want in a women. The last part is discovering if love is there. If there is no love, then don't get into an exclusive relationship.
Making someone your girlfriend/boyfriend should be a very easy decision, but you should also know who they are eyes wide open and only do so if love is there. You never want to enter into a relationship, then realize you don't love them. That's why I don't respect the view that you date exclusively because "it's time". Your heart is in it or it isn't and to put that on a time schedule is in a way disrespecting the heart.
Exclusive doesn't mean anything other than excluding others from romantic activity.
So to answer your question, it isn't a matter of time. it's a matter of when both partners don't feel there is a need, or benefit, for showing or receiving romantic attention from anyone else. Because doing so simply isn't wanted or needed, or in fact (I hate this word) problematic.
You'll notice this will bust up most relationships. The agreement to be exclusive will be coerced or demanded from a partner that isn't ready or wanting to, or (the more manipulative type) all to willing to lie and offer it in order to limit the probability of their "interest" running into any "interests" of their own... while maintaining their own right to find something more interesting, on the side, or to monkey branch over to if that new branch is simply... more interesting.
Starting the first time you ask someone on a date to the day one asks the other to be girlfriend or boyfriend. Don't ask me on a date but still think it's okay to have back up chicks that you want to go on dates to. When I go on dates I focus on one person and getting to know them, if doesn't work out then that's when I will move on. I don't want find out I spent my time talking to you then see you start dated some girl out of the blue on Facebook. That totally blind sides a person cause they thought everything was going smoothly but apparently you were just a backup until they found someone else they really clicked with. It's unfair and messed up to do that to someone.
lol this is hard for me. As I've never been openly exclusive with anyone, though I am. I call him my boyfriend in on here, but he's... not. We both likes each other and I'm kinda in love with him, but we don't date. We just play video games together almost daily and hang out some days of the month. We still kiss, hug, cuddle and sometimes do sexual stuff, but we are not open or consider ourselves bf/gf. Seems really depressing when I write it all out. What a pity.
What's wrong with that? As long as you two are happy, who really cares? Just go with it! :)
@Streamhopper Yeah I'm happy with him. It's just my friends and my parents think it's wrong, so it causes me to overthink the situation.
I don't date multiple people at the same time. If I am dating someone, I drop everyone else right after the first date, if it goes well. I don't expect the other person to be exclusive with me before we decide so, though.
Opinion
65Opinion
When you are with one person but wishing you were with the other person, it is time to become exclusive.
3 months of dating and this means seeing each other regulerly and having time to get to know the other :)
From day one.
When I ask someone out, what I'm offering them is an exclusive committed relationship, not a test drive.
I don't do this millennial fad of "casual relationships", sometimes I see the "relationships" I have with my exes are more committed than what people call relationships these days.
Love it
Right away. I don't really understand the whole concept of dating a few people at once until you find the "right" one. To me, it's a waste of time and money, and it's not fair to rope these people unwillingly into some kind of competition where you're the prize.
I think when someone asks you on a date and you say yes, you should be exclusive from then on out, I completely disagree with the multiple dates at once culture I hate it. If someone asks you out, you give them the respect they deserve and that you agreed to give and you dont accept any other requests until you decide you dont like that person. If it doesn't work out, fine, then you break it off and THEN you can start dating again, it should be one by one. Thats how it should be.
Couldn't agree more!
It never made sense to me why someone would go on a date with more than one person at a timeframe. I mean really, the person could be dating 4 people and hook up with all of them and just say, "we aren't exclusive it's okay".
Yeah and thats messed up to me! You should never have sex on the first date, thats basically prostitution with extra steps. And I also disagree with the notion that dating and being in a relationship are two different things. Sure you're not in a relationship as soon as you start dating, but its not like you date for like 4 months AND THEN start a relationship, I think the relationship starts after like 5 dates
I understand your viewpoint but the way I see it, you go on dates just to find out whether you click with that person or not. You can't exactly be exclusive with someone without knowing whether you even like them like that or not. And if you're somewhat interested in many people at the same time, it wouldn't make sense to wait around and date them all one by one. You might miss out on a good person because you were busy exclusively dating people that you never ended up clicking with.
Being exclusive doesn't necessarily mean committment, all Im saying is if you agree to a date, you dont plan another date until after youve gone to said date, thats what you commit to when you say yes to a date. I also understand where you're coming from, but I find that rude because you aren't giving each person a fair chance or your full attention. Also, if you schedule a bunch of dates and you click with someone on Tuesday and then someone else even more on Friday, how are you gonna choose? Thats usually the similar rationale to what people use to justify cheating.
Also think about the reverse, what if you found out that guy you "clicked with" had like 6 girls he was dating that week? I assume you wouldn't like it and if you dont mind because you do the same thing, then why are either of you even bothering to date each other? Neither of you was really committed to the date. I just think the act of dating multiple people at a time devalues and disrespects each date by making it seem like they aren't important or deserving of respect.
Once again, couldn't agree more!! Hahah.
So you and your… ugh, WTF do you even call him? A hook-up buddy? A friend with benefits?… WHATEVER he is have been hooking up for a while now.
You really like him, and you're pretty sure he really likes you back.
But you guys haven't really talked about what you're doing at all… which wouldn't be a big deal if you had any idea whether or not you're allowed to be hooking up with other people!
It's like, you don't want to be turning down other options like a total idiot if he's out there getting his freak on with a bunch of other girls. But is it too soon for you guys to become exclusive? Is it too late?
Our culture treats dating so casually these days that it's hard to tell. Back in the day the purpose of a romantic relationship was pretty clear - a process to decide whether they wanted to marry or not. Now that's left open-ended and vague, and I can't say that that's really a good thing altogether.
I'd say you're exclusive the minute you agree that you're actually a couple as opposed to having just gone on a couple of dates
It is just something you have to decide between the 2 of you. My current boyfriend and I spoke long distance for about 3 months before even meeting. We met and then a week later we were sure we wanted it to be official. You just have to both agree and decide what you want.
There is no timeline on this one. When you meet it might take a matter of days before you both realize you don't want anyone else but that person. Sometimes, people take more time or two people don't always match their feelings up at the same time, so it can take longer. But whenever that moment is that you both simply want each other and no one else is when you should be exclusive.
When you have a talk about it and come to the conclusion that you're both ready to be monogamous.
You should never assume that you're monogamous just because you've been dating for x amount of time. You'll just end up getting hurt if they thought you weren't exclusive and have been dating other people too. Clarifying that you're together is just easier, and leaves no room for misunderstandings.
I will only date one person at a time. Makes it easier for me to be honest. I tend to overthink everything. And I kinda expect the same from who I'm dating. If we have been on a few dates over a week or two and you still not sure about me... it's not going to happen
The second you go on a first date with someone. I always just do one date/date one person at a time, and I want/expect the other person to do the same.
Straight away. You shouldn't be thinking about anybody else when you're seeing somebody
When you ask to be. I asked to be her boyfriend during date 4 because that was when I was comfortable
I wouldn't go any longer than 3 months without have the exclusivity talk tbh.
In my opinion, if you don't want to be exclusive from the very start, you just can search for somebody else.
Can't see my in a relationship for even 5 seconds when I could imagine myself having something with someone else...
when you agree to be exclusive, putting an arbitrary amount of time on it probably isn't the best way of going about it.
If you've started seeing a girl I think you should be sexually exclusive immediately - I don't think it's right to be sleeping around with multiple people at once (not healthy). You should commit to be boyfriend/girlfriend after you've decided that you're right for each other, which I think should be minimum 2 months, ideally 3-4 months. Took me over 6 months once
If your going to date, then date. If I go out with a woman I shouldn't have to wonder if she is dating another guy. But esp if your having sex. I am not going to screw a woman that I have to wonder if she has another guys cum in her.
you should be exclusive whenever the two of you decide that you only want to see each other and no one else whether it's after 1 week, 2 weeks, 2 months or 2 years
You can also add your opinion below!
Most Helpful Opinions