Would you risk a great friendship for the chance at an even greater love?

[7Phoenix7]

So… a few people messaged me wondering if someone was trying to steal my man. (Because of my previous post)

No lol... I actually started dating my best friend.

And just to clarify something… my posts don’t always represent what I’m personally going through. Sometimes I’m just curious, sometimes something inspires a question, and sometimes I just know it’ll make a good discussion.

Dating your best friend does make things a little scary though. Like… if the friendship is already really good, is it worth risking that just to see if there could be something more?

Would you take that chance, or would you rather keep the friendship exactly how it is?

…

[FunkyMonkee]

If the friendship is something you never wanna lose, you SHOULD go into the heavier relationship at least understanding yourself that IF you break up, you'd still like to keep it going as best friends. Let him know this, too. I've made that deal with all of my ex's but, because the last one cheated on me and hurt me badly, I wanted nothing more to do with her!! Had we broken up amicably, I'd have no problem staying friends with her, as we both promised each other we would if we ever DID break-up. Well, she fucked over my trust in her and I can't be friends with someone I can't trust!
As far as I know, I'm still friends with my first ex. I haven't seen or heard from her in 25 years but, the last time we talked, we were on very friendly terms so, I have to assume that if we bump into each other, again, as last time, we'll still be friends.
My 2nd ex and I stayed good friends for 34 years and even tried to be a couple again until she treated me like shit about 9 years ago. I HAVE tried to patch things up with her a few years ago but, she, obviously, doesn't want that so, fuck her!!

[dragoblack]

Yes. I prefer friends to lovers relationships. You have a solid foundation to start a relationship and you know eachother as people rather than being with someone you barely know. If it doesn't work out and you separate on good terms, just go back to being friends. If the relationship ends up toxic/abusive there's a massive reason you would have dropped them as a friend eventually.

[thegreenyogi]

It depends on the friendship and it depends on how strong my feelings are. I value friendship above all else and the idea of dating a best friend is a great one but not all friends can become lovers and it will work, last and you never know if the friendship will remain or ever be the same after a breakup. It's a huge gamble but if the chemistry is really strong on both sides it's worth the risk even if it's scary.

[thegreenyogi]

By the way I share your view on posting questions regarding certain topics. I like you post questions but very rarely do they have to do with me personally or to do with anything that's going on in my life and that it's simple curiosity that not all seem to grasp.

[thegreenyogi]

Thank you!

[7Phoenix7]

Thank you for your great responses haha

[Simslover92]

I wouldn't do that again. Once was enough to let me know that it's best to leave a great friendship as is.

[7Phoenix7]

Definitely understand where ur coming from 💯

[Finchie40]

It’s definitely a 50/50 chance on whether that relationship will last or not , sometimes turning a great friendship into more than just friendship , can be a risky thing , especially if you both truly aren’t on the same page with things. You both like each other’s friendship but you both might not be on the same page as being together in a relationship or having sex with each other so when you allow yourself to be vulnerable to a friend , at that moment you might just go with it because you do like them as a friend and you do care about them but you never really had those feelings for them in the first place , and that’s why those relationships can end up not being a good thing. I was good friends’ with girls’ through the years that I just enjoyed our friendship , as time went on and we got to know each other more and we enjoyed spending time together , and she comes in for a kiss , it took me by surprise and made me shocked that she kissed me , I didn’t dislike her , I just wasn’t aware she liked me like that , but since she crossed that line , at that moment I accepted it thinking why not? We have a great connection together so why ruin it. Not realizing in yourself that you are just being vulnerable to them. Things can go well for a period of time but there might come a time when you wish you were still just friends. And that’s when the relationship and friendship ends

[OlderAndWiser]

If one of you already has the romantic hots for the other, then regardless of what is said or done, the friendship is not going to continue on a "business as usual" basis. The friendship very likely can't continue long term, so I say, "fuck it, you only live once, let's go for it and pray for the best.' By all means, if you can turn the friendship into a mutual romance, then you have the biggest prize available.

[HawkPerception]

I don't mess around with that. I've literally asked 2 of my friends in the past. Didn't end up happening or anything, but you definitely get it off your chest and live without the regret of "what could have been."

[OneViewpoint]

It's very dependent on the situation. There are some instances where I'd consider it and some where I'd hold back. For instance...

• Tick tock the clock is ticking. I'm settling. I don't really feel "THAT WAY" about her but hey, she's available. Nope. That doesn't end well for anyone.
• I suddenly realize I don't just like her, I respect her, and she's not bad looking. And ya know what we have some pretty good memories. I can count on her. Yep, maybe she's worth a chnce.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Talking about questions we personally relate to... I really don't relate to this one.

Not because I wouldn't "sacrifice" a friendship but because there isn't ambiguity left with good friends, so far.

But, hypothetically speaking, I don't see what would stop me from going from friendship to love if that progression was natural. I mean a friend I'd love wouldn't be a friend anymore so I'd not not risking this friendship, because, in truth, this friendship already ceased to exist

[Karrimurray]

Honestly, I don’t know if I could. 🥺 A great friendship is already something rare, and risking it for a relationship that might not work scares me. But if I genuinely felt that there was something deeper between us, I’d probably have to be honest about my feelings rather than spend years wondering, ‘What if?’ Sometimes the biggest risk is never finding out. ❤️‍🩹

[georgeboy2006]

It’s definitely scary, but 100% worth the risk if the connection is mutual. The best relationships are built on strong friendships anyway because the trust and comfort are already there. If it works out, you get a life partner and a best friend in one!

[NathanDavis]

I did that, twice...

but it happened when I was way younger, and during school days

but as an older person, no... it has never happened again, either we remain friends as we are... or we get involved as something else, lol

[7Phoenix7]

lol.. haha

[Takamatsu]

Well, in my experience, a good relationship comes from a deep friendship, so, it's worth a try. Also, its kinda counterintuitive, but when you are friends with someone and you start developing feelings, if they are not reciprocated, one may enter into an unbalanced relationship (even if its platonic), which can lead to posterior heartbreak, so, the friend dinamic already changed and it will never be the same. The question isn't "is it worth risking a friendship for a romance?", I think the better question is: "Do you see yourself in a romantic relationship with this person? Is it not forced and are you afraid for the friendship or because you cannot reciprocate?" If the answer is no, then, sadly it missed. But if you already like who asked you and have a small crush, go for it! Only those who dare to live can properly live!

[PeachyPie93]

I don't know I think you could test it out..

Most the time you will lose people regardless of if you just stayed friends or started dating. I know I lost a lot of guy friends that I liked cuz they started dating other people, and I know I lost my husband who was my best friend/greatest enemy cuz he left me for someone else.. Friendships with men come and go so no need to hold them in high regards, they all leave in the end anyways since nothing lasts forever.

[Telekinetic-Potato]

Not really. I think if something is really meant to be then the only relationship it will interfere with is one that isn't so great.

So if they're such a great friend, I won't but if it's someone who really doesn't do anything for me on a deep level then they can go.

[Joshydavid25]

If I'm attracted to my best friend, yeah I'll take that chance.. Honestly, I don't believe in "friends first", but if you happen to form an attraction and affection toward someone you are already really close platonically with; then I feel like it will most likely blossom into a long lasting relationship.

[ChiTown33]

If a chance at love ruins a friendship then you were never really friends to begin with.

It always amuses me when people worry about elevating a friendship. Because they foolishly think you can ruin it. The REALITY is the TRUTH just gets exposed. And some people live their whole in a crafted illusion because their ego cannot bare the actual truth.

[ChiTown33]

Whole life*

[lilBigPotato]

I would avoid unless I'm 100% sure he's feeling the same way as I do.

[7Phoenix7]

Right

[Zack-Bann]

In a heartbeat.


Friendship built on repressed feelings is a house built on sand.


If we don’t end up together romantically we will have to live with the reality that the other person is with someone else eventually

[Nikki1989]

Depends. Moving from friendship to romance requires both people to agree. Unrequited romance often destroys the original friendship, while mutual romance can build something deeply fulfilling.

[DragonDan444]

The short answer is yes. If I wanted someone that way enough I could be missing out on something a lot more than a basic friendship. Higher the risk higher the reward.

[sage2021]

What's even greater is being friends and partners from the very beginning.

I value my friendships but having a special person loving me is a feeling like no other.

[Twalli]

All the best relationships come from friendships. I think they're better because you already like doing the same things and don't need every outing to be romantic. I don't think I'd date any girl who wasn't my friend first.

[WhitneySnow]

I did the same thing! We risked it and it’s turned out great so far.

[queenofcardio]

No, I have never dated a friend..

Don't think I ever would.

[RareBreedOfMan]

No, cause I did it and it ruined our friendship. This was long distance now she doesn't want nothing to do with me.

[Shiprex]

I would absolutely do that. Carpe Diem to make everyone conscious of how others are around them

[molonski2]

I'd take the chance absolutely, and I've done this previously , if it doesn't work that's fine.

[AydenHazor]

It's definitely a scary step moving from a beat friendship into hopefully a great romance. It's worth it if it works though, as the best relationships are built on friendship

[exitseven]

You might ss well go for it. It is the only way that you will have peace of mind.

[Theoretical_Apulu]

I hate how this popped up now that I'm crushing so hard on my best friend's ex boyfriend.

[Phoenix98]

Pretty much most of my exes were friends first.

[Jammannn]

Besides online most relationships come from friendship so seems like a good place. All friendships pretty much breakdown after though.

[TonyMetal___1986]

It depends on each person, personally i don't have a female friend in real life...

[naughtybutnice65]

I was quite close with this 55 year old lady i knew. Now we have been having sex recently. She is quite mature 🙈

[DishLady]

Maybe, if i see a future.

[Likes2drive]

I think I would take the risk since you already know them

[Staximus]

If you and your best friend are attracted to each other then why the hell not?

[ThisSiteSux]

No. Love is fake and gay. Friendship is rare. "Make new friends, but keep the old, one is silver and the other gold"

[_Jenny_]

@7Phoenix7 yes, I would

[i_am_back]

No bro love is a scam
Friends stay forever

[amanya]

yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[Anonymous]

Depends on goals.

[Paige2006]

Yes I would