What's the right time to ask to be physically exclusive?

Question

What are your thoughts on when to ask to be physically exclusive? I personally can only be physical with one girl at a time- I'm not sure where the girl I'm currently dating stands. What's the best time to ask this topic? We've been in the talking phase for a while now, recently there's been a lot of non-stop all-day PDA and going to second & third base in private.

If it's a no from her side, it's a deal breaker for me and I'm happy to walk away. Just wanted to get some opinions on when the right time is

RavVid · Accepted Answer

I'm quite puritanical on this and think that both should have clean hands going into a relationship. In my world - which might be quite different to op's worlds - I immediately know if I want to have sex with girl X and it doesn't take that long to know that I like girl X for more than her body. If girl X seems to have a reciprocal inclination then there is potential.

To a large degree forming a relationship is an act of faith by both sides. You believe and trust the other person will treat you right and you are offering the same to them. If either of you are continuing to get with the hoes (extending that word to a male as well as female context) then there is not much reason to form belief and trust on one side.

It is still quite possible that a guy and girl, each with say several friends with benefits, could decide they were each others preferred option after trying all the rest. It could even be a sounder basis but if I want an exclusive relationship than I would want it to come from an exclusive base rather than transitioning to an exclusive base

In terms of the question I think you are entitled to say from the get go you are interested in an exclusive relationship and ask if that is her interest as well. Certainly by the time there is clearly mutual affection between you.

Since you are on second and third, I think it is time to ask and offer exclusivity.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

The right time to ask to be physically exclusive varies from person to person and depends on the dynamics of the relationship. However, it's important to have an open and honest conversation with the person you are dating about your expectations and boundaries.

If you feel ready to be physically exclusive with the person you are dating, it's important to communicate this clearly and respectfully. You can bring up the topic when you feel comfortable and when the time feels right, such as after a particularly intimate moment or conversation.

It's important to also be prepared for the possibility that the other person may not feel the same way or may not be ready for exclusivity. If this is a deal breaker for you, it's important to communicate this clearly and respectfully, and to be prepared to walk away if necessary.

Remember, communication and honesty are key in any relationship, and it's important to prioritize your own well-being and boundaries.

DizzyDesii · Accepted Answer

After a month or two of getting to know one another... BUT I also feel neither person should be having sex with anyone else in general during that time of getting to know one another. If you’re talkin to me and saying you see a future with me and you want this to turn into a relationship, then you shouldn’t be fckin with any hoes on the side. I get that people still flirt while single. Thats different. But if you’re getting physical with someone else (kisses, oral, sex) while getting to know me (regardless of if we’ve been physical yet or not), then you’re already trash to me and I don’t want you. The day you decide you see a future with me, you better be prepared to stop gettin physical with other women. And if the mf can’t even go 2 months without sex, then he ain't gone survive with me anyways

Qinart · Accepted Answer

If you feel ready for it you should communicate this with her, I don't think there is the right time to do it honestly. You could let her know where you are at just for her information. Maybe plan a date, have a nice evening together and a deep talk about it.
If you overthink 'the right time' it could make it just wors, better you know where you guys stand!

Good luck :)

EricSummer · Answer

I would clarify this somewhere between the first kiss and first sex. In Europe, we practically only have these two stages (and do not generally know the first thing about baseball).

In fact, you can find out her views about faithfulness early on, even at the first date, while keeping the talk at the general level, about what you like and want.

Then, when you have started kissing already you can talk about if you are now together as a couple. At that point it is good to clarify that you do not want to share her with another man and that of course she will be the only one for you. Most women will gladly confirm this, but for avoidance of doubt this has to be clarified. It can be quite romantic, too, and it's not about signing a contract. It still is about commitment.

LaFemmeFatale_1 · Answer

Isn’t it obvious that you should be physically exclusive from the very beginning? I don’t understand.  If she is intimate to someone else why is she even dating you? I don’t know.

WanderingLoveWizard · Answer

If she has any value whatsoever, you won't have to ask. It'll just be assumed under the circumstances.
If she goes out and fucks other guys because you never specifically talked about exclusivity, she's a hoe and should be left to the streets

Anonymous · Answer

Any time is the right time to ask as long as you two reached each other's "qualifications" and are comfortable with each other. 😊 If you have plans of being exclusive as a couple, you must tell her that too.

LazerBean · Answer

As soon as I figure out that I have to tell someone not to be sleeping around, I would stop seeing them.

slatyb · Answer

Mostly I've been asked this by women I was dating who wanted to get closer. They asked "Are you seeing anyone else?"

TacosRAwesome · Answer

Once we start discussing and making plans to have sex. I don't see the point of being physically exclusive with someone I haven't made out with yet.

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

When one person is dating the other, and always before any kissing, oral, handjobs, sex, or any other couple/sexual behavior.

dray995 · Answer

You should be exclusive the moment you start dating each other. Why would either of you expect anything else?

Nikki1989 · Answer

If you have to ask, it is probably never going to work.

gorydetails · Answer

If you're concerned about diseases especially, then before sex is appropriate.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No set time, but in your case definitely talk about it before you get intimate.

MrBlade88 · Answer

Before you hit it raw

Anonymous · Answer

When she initiates.

What's the right time to ask to be physically exclusive?

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