Girls question about relationships?

[MrPickles13]

Girls would you break up with a guy if they waited a while before wanting to become intimate?

How long would you say is a fair amount of time to wait?

Would you be willing to wait longer if you sat down with the guy and talked about progressing the relationship?

And would the fact that them waiting be a mixed result of wanting a connection, being a virgin and having anxiety issues be a reasonable explanation of why they want to wait or would that be a deal breaker?

[Blackcupcake]

there’s nothing wrong with waiting and the amount of time you wait completely depends on the relationship and how fast it progresses.




having an open and honest communication about everything is always important.




nope that would not be a dealbreaker.

[MrPickles13]

Thank you for your answer, yeah for me it's the intimacy that would take time I wouldn't be against sleeping in the same bed and such but just no more then cuddling tbh. I don't know if that makes sense.

Also I guess do you think being bad at those acts would lead to a break up?

[Blackcupcake]

lack of experience doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re “bad” at it… also if your SO communicates with you about what they like/dislike and vice versa then things should be easier as well

however, there’s the possibility that you and your SO aren’t sexually compatible… maybe they have a higher sex drive or there’s certain things they like that you’re not open to or comfortable with and vice versa. those are the things that could lead to a breakup simply because you can’t satisfy each other’s needs, in that sense.

[MrPickles13]

That makes sense about the wants and such. I know what a lot say they like on here I could never do.

And I know to start with I would be bad and there would be other I honestly believe that. But I'm more then happy and willing to learn my partner tho.

[loves2learn]

Nothing wrong at all. As long as he was open about his feelings and needs and was still willing to do things like cuddle and kiss. It is important for both to be ready.

[MrPickles13]

Thank you, yes those things I would be more then happy to do I love the idea of cuddeling. And I'd be happy to have those embarrassing talks about being ready and such and I guess what my worries were and stuff like that so I could ease my worries and maybe learn what she would like if a partner was willing to talk about those things which I think is important.

Do you think those conversations are a good idea?

[loves2learn]

Yes. Communication is a lost art and a very good thing. If you could have good communication that would be lovely.

[MrPickles13]

Thank you for your answer it has been helpful I hope you don't mind that I invited you to the question

[loves2learn]

Feel free to invite me. Thank you for the mho :)

[MrPickles13]

No worries you earnt it with your kind and helpful answer. Would it be okay to ask you another question?

[loves2learn]

Of course

[MrPickles13]

Well being willing to talk about such things with a partner is important.

Would you think it's an issue if say the guys anxiety started to adr up during the conversation, or if they couldn't look you in the eye or got like red in the face, nervous or stuttery due to embarresment?

[loves2learn]

I am a very empathetic person so no. You need a caring, patient, understanding, empathetic girl.

[MrPickles13]

Yeah I do I know that. It's just without experience it must be an awkward and uncomfortable conversation. Like why you want to wait and I don't know things like expectations if you decide to and other things like what would be good for her and such you know.

[loves2learn]

Sometimes awkward conversations are important. I talked to a guy on here who actually had an anxiety attack and burst into tears on his first date. He and his girlfriend are still together. She is a keeper.

[MrPickles13]

That she is and that I actually fear happening. on a first date. And dread to think what I'd be like talking about sex with a partner let alone if we got to that stage. I honestly don't think it would go well.

[loves2learn]

I think you are too hard on yourself

[MrPickles13]

In what way?

And honestly talking wbout intimacy with a partner is one thing and that's scray enough the actual being intimate with them more so. Truly I think it would be over as soon as they took there top off if you get the meaning there. And that would be beyond mortifying. If my anxiety would even allow such a reaction to allow that.

[loves2learn]

You are thinking catastrophically. It will likely not be that bad.

[MrPickles13]

Maybe but you can see why there would be few women who could ever cope or want to be with me. But also I guess I always will worry about it as my reaction I know what to expect for a guy but that's always going to be embarrassing and disappointing for them. And also due to my lack of knowing anything I don't know if I'd be able to make it good for her if that makes any sense.

[loves2learn]

Yes. Communication and practice you know. First times are always awkward. They get better from there. :)

[MrPickles13]

Yeah your right. I just know I'm going to be embarrassed and that either way as well without the expiernnce it won't be long or good. But I can only hope I can at least get her to enjoy it. Even if it's with a lot of help from her saying what she likes. Honestly I'd be happy to use hands or oral. I know I'd quite like to do oral actually. And I'd even br happy to use a toy so that she would enjoy.

I think I could do the idea of foreplay and that okay. It's just when it gets. to anything more then kissing and caressing that I'd be lost. (I do mean like kissing her body) I know I won't be good at kissing really. But I think I could maybe do that okay.

[loves2learn]

See that is great. I am sure she will enjoy that when the time comes.

[MrPickles13]

Thank you for listening and helping me yet again.

Do you think anything I said about my worries or willingness to use toys or wanting to do oral. is odd?

And is it odd to think if be good at least the foreplay if that's what kissing and carressing her all over would count as?

Is that foreplay I'm not really sure?

[loves2learn]

None of it sounds odd. I would say caressing is a form of foreplay, yes.

[MrPickles13]

That's good I do worry. But yeah to me gently running Hands all over her as well as doing the same with your mouth like. kissing all the way down her body. Skipping the main bit all the way down her legs and back up stuff like that. I don't know if that would he good but it sounds kinda hot.

[loves2learn]

It is hot :)

[MrPickles13]

Well thank you for answering my questions as always if you have anything to ask me you can. I hope I've not been odd in my questions or shared to much or anything like that.

[Pleaznhim4me]

No. It would be a relief. Communication is good though.

[Gwenhwyfar]

Definitely not

[MrPickles13]

How long would you be willing to wait?

Also how long into a relationship should you like actually talk about that and be open about the mental health stuff?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I would wait as long as it took

A couple weeks probably

[MrPickles13]

That's good thank you for answering they are worries of mine. And well I guess it's odd for a guy to be like this.

But due to the lack of experience and anxiety I need that connection and such to make it less terrifying I guess if that makes sense?

[Gwenhwyfar]

I totally agree with you