My friend Bob asked me this question and I can't answer it.
1. Bob befriended Judy, who is an attractive woman at the gym he goes to. 2. He has known her for over 6-months and has asked for her phone number several times but she says she isn't interested in dating. 3. Bob's friend asked Bob if he could introduce him to Judy, so he did. 4. Bob's friend and Judy start talking and within 5-minutes Bob's friend asks Judy for her phone number. Bob walks away because he already knows the answer. 5. Bob meets his friend in the locker room and his friend is all excited because he got Judy's telephone number. 6. Bob doesn't believe his friend so his friend shows him a piece of paper with her phone number, in her writing. 7. Bob approaches Judy and says, "We've been friends for over 6-months and I asked for your number several times and you never gave it to me. However, within 5-minutes you give my friend your phone number!" 8. Judy gets all mad and starts talking crap about men and how awful they are. She said his friend "twisted her arm" for her number.
If Judy didn't want to give out her number why did she? So how do you "twist" someone's arm to get a phone number? I have no idea. Do you?
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+1 y
There is a huge misunderstanding in my question. My question is how does a woman get her "arm twisted" so she gives out her phone number when she doesn't want to. Many have given valid reasons. However, many are saying why Bob didn't get her number and that wasn't the question.
Why Does A Woman Give Up Her Phone Number When She Doesn't Want To?
Some guys, are too aggressive about it. Saying no seems like it can make them angry, that is the last thing I want. I watch body language, if he has me cornered somewhere, and is blocking me so I can't easily leave it makes it worse. I do realize he may not realize he is doing that, some people do not pay attention to their surroundings like that.
I don't actually give out my number, I instead will ask that he give me his. This way if I am not interested I can lose it, if I am I can contact him.
Some very aggressive guys do not like that and will insist, and keep pressuring at which point, I do the Rejection hotline or a version of it.
It only takes one guy one time of getting all bent out of shape and upset, angry or violent to make you not want to risk it in the future.
Sounds to me that Bob is a nice guy, up until the point he confronted Judy about it, in #7 but his friend is aggressive and made her feel unsafe somehow.
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Anonymous
(18-24)
+1 y
Because if I tell him flat out no, he’ll probably get nasty, be rude or even try to hurt me. If I give him my number and then when I get home, I block him. That’s safer
my best guess would, Judy felt intimidated somehow...
and sometimes it can be difficult to say no to someone for some reasons..
and I'll give you an example that happened to me, this one time (years ago) I was hanging out with a group of friends at this party so this girl showed some interest and invited me to an after-party, which, I didn't feel like going so I was going to say no, till my friend pointed out that "it would be easier to just say yes and go with it..."
so yeah, I was not exactly intimidated by her but the fact that her family was linked to a certain cartel, so... had I just rejected her in front of everyone, at the very least would have had my car magically appear at the pound... lmfao
so I said sure, yes, let's go... and we did our thing, no big deal afterwards
I think in the simplest terms, answer is attractiveness: 1. Judy didn't find Bob attractive so had no reason to stay in touch with him (especially when their common interest is gym where you don't even need to exchange Mobile numbers) 2. Judy found Bob's friend attractive and gave him her mobile number so that they could escalate things 3 when Bob confronted her, instead of saying "i find you not worthy of it (or anything similar to this)", she got angry and lied to keep her as a "good woman" who is supposed to treat everyone equally
Moral of the story: don't be a dick, just ask the girl out, if she is willing, she will reciprocate else go for the next girl. Complaining only brings negativity.
Well Bob is an asshole... other guys would call him a "cock blocker." That's a guy that ruins another guys chances with a women just because they can't get their own women. So in my opinion that says enough about the type of asshole Bob is and Judy definitely did the right thing by not giving bob her number.
Just because Judy did not want Bod to have her number does not mean she does want to give her number to other guys. And Judy has a right to be pissed at the guy that showed bob her number... because guys usually so do that type of thing. When you as a guy get a number you don't share it with other guys.
Bob is loser.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
If a girl was getting her arm twisted, she may give out her phone number, just say that she doesn't get a sprained arm.
However, she may have been more interested in Bob's friend, but not Bob. It might have nothing to do with the amount of time Bob and Judy had known each other.
I don't know how they arrange to meet though without phone numbers, and how they could be "friends" if they had been seeing each other only in the gym, and did they actually have time to work out in the gym or had they been talking when they were in the gym? Just a thought. I would be annoyed if someone talks to me a lot when I'm in the gym.
Isn't that obvious Bob thinks that Judy is his friend /crush , and Judy thinks his a looser but still she like ok will talk if he talks to me mostly will try to ignore hmm.
They would talk after the gym session like maybe 5 mins 10 mins
It happened to me a couple of times when I was younger and insecure.. I had already said 'I am not really sure' or something else a bit vague, and they have kept trying to persuade me, also said they just wanted to be friends or so, and in the end I gave up, thinking I could always just not answer/block later on. Now I am more direct and do not butch.
I think what it comes down to is the natural submissive nature of women. Some of us know this, but we choose not to exploit it because we are ethical men. Others exploit it for all it's worth. ... But the problem is that women LIKE men who are dominant and "take charge.". So I don't see this ending anytime soon.
Bob is an ass for asking the question. Judy is a bitch for responding so angrily. She should have just given a vague answer and left Bob wondering. Reminds me of the famous scene in “Good Will Huning” when Will meets Skylar after humiliating some guy trying to impress her with bullshit.
So your question is theoretical or did it actually happen? Because if that's what you heard then of course we're gonna say that Judy is probably lying and was simply more interested in the friend than im Bob and didn't want to deal with his frustration or jealousy, if it's a theoretical, then some guys see it as assertiveness to do that like the girl is hesitant but she'll like it if I do that
Your logic is faulty. Most women don't get their arm twisted. If a woman doesn't want to give you her number you are not going to get it. People keep focusing on Bob because he is a orbiting beta male begging Judy for her attention as were his friend is obviously some mega chad that got her attention. could be fit, could be attractive could have a really good game what ever it was bob obviously don't have it. So while Bob is sitting in his apartment wondering why Judy is ignoring his attempt at getting her attention... his friend is plowing her like a mile of corn field. She is obliviously lying because if she hasn't told bob to fuck off yet ( remember 6 months of knowing her but she doesn't even like him enough as a friend to give him her number ) she is keeping him in orbit for some reason.
She didn't know how to say no, her becoming mad is a sign of frustration. If she had been mad before, she wouldn't have given the number and the emotion wouldn't have been pent up. Now after the fact she understands her lack of ability, this triggered the frustration. Why she felt this way in the moment, I speculate it was an innate trait of her, trying to defend herself socially. She must've imagined bad consequences if she hadn't given it.
What I think is that with bob being out of sight she thought it was safe to pass it off without bob knowing. With that being said after finding out she got upset because she may have caused unnecessary drama. She may have also been annoyed by bob, friend zoned by bob, and or did not want to have anything to do with him.
Scenario 1: Judy gave her number when she didn't want to because she finds Bob's friend intimidating but doesn't find Bob intimidatingScenario 2: Judy is lying to Bob about having "her arm twisted" into giving out her number. Fact is, Judy is sexually attracted to Bob's friend but not Bob. So in order to not have to reveal this uncomfortable fact to Bob, she came up with this story. She is now not the bad guy; Bob's friend is.
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Anonymous
(30-35)
+1 y
well, obviously Bob was instantly friend zoned as where bobs friend wasn't. I would also struggle to call Bob even a friend. since he plainly says he has known her for 6 months and still hasn't gotten her number which means she doesn't want contact with him beyond I am guessing him annoying her for her number for the past 6 months at the gym.
I've been told women give out their "phone number" when they don't want to because they don't feel comfortable rejecting the guy, especially if he won't take "no" for an answer. For some women, it's for safety reasons.
Phone number is in quotations because sometimes that number is fake.
She probably didn’t feel like dealing with any jealousy from Bob, so she made it seem like she has no interest in the friend, just to get Bob to leave her alone about it.
Being able to block someone, I don't see a reason to not give out a number to people I know. And there is chemistry between Judy and Bob's friend. And Judy is full of crap. When I was young, girls would give out fake numbers. Being considered as less than ideal, I collected a phone book of fake numbers.
I don't think he twisted her arm at all. It sounds like she was genuinely interested in the friend until she found out that he bragged to Bob about getting her number. She was majorly turned off when he did that.
Because they are afraid of the reaction they get for saying no. You never know how a person will react to rejection, som men get angry and aggressive, some get violent. You don’t know..
She's in a gym full of people , trainer will fuck Bob and rest will come to the aid of her and she has weights lol she could scare him with that lol.
Men like Bob don't get angry they get depressed lol as mentioned Bob gave 6th months and asked her number she never gave he was never angry on her lol for rejecting or denying him.
Bob felt betrayed because Bob believed her when she said she was not intrested in dating or whatever.
So i think we can rule out the victim angle ooh Bob is very dangerous he will bore me to death
If not you should have been very straight with the guy fuck of Bob I don't even want to see your face.
It would be much more easier on him he only was depressed because the guy he introduced to her got her number so quick it's a normal human reaction if he was a random he wouldn't have given single fucks about it
@Aakash_Hangargi She didn't want to give bob her number but he kept pushing, she made it clear that she wasn't romantically interested. It doesn't matter why. She isn't obligated to give her number to anyone she doesn't want to.
@Aakash_Hangargi how do you know that? The majority of sexual assault victims are assaulted by someone they know, and women under the age of 30 are in the highest risk category. You can't say for certain that bob or his friend wasn't a threat.
@Aakash_Hangargi No she wasn't a victim, at least not yet, but she has a 1 in 6 chance of being one at some point in her lifetime so can you really blame her for being selective about who she gives her personal information to.
I could say the same how can you say that Bob was threat what If Bob was was not amongst those probability you said , she would have not been friends fir 6 months if that was the case she could easily filed restarting orders.
As i said it's ok if she gave but she lied about it that he threatened her it's very clear could have easily told and could have been straight forward
I’ve never had someone ask for my number. Not once. Everyone always gave me theirs. So my arm was never twisted. It does make me wonder why woman give it out.
Honestly, it could come down to a bunch of reasons. Maybe she feels uncomfortable but is nervous about saying no. So she gives him the number but doesn't respond. As a guy I've done this, but mostly to spare somone from embarrassment.
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