What does it mean if men don’t want to go home with you?

[Anonymous]

I’ve been recently starting to go out and socialize on the weekends and I noticed I get a lot of “attention”.
When I come across someone who I feel mutual attraction with we usually have drinks and chat and then we dance and they will be all over me for the whole night , but come closing time they seem to want nothing more to do with me?
I don’t know what I am doing wrong. I really just want to vibe with someone sometimes but it always ends when the club closes.

[Phoenix-gb]

Probably safer for them, especially if there's been drinking involved, guys are more cautious now. There are also some guys and girls who go out and dance and flirt the night away with no intention of taking it any further than that.

That being said, if you're making a good connection, exchange details and see if it picks up after when you're both sober, if they are into you and you make it clear you're into them for more than just that night, there might not be as much trepidation the next time.

[caring__1]

Not everyone is interested in a one-night-stand. They believe that rushing too quickly is all about lust rather than connection. Maybe they went to the club to see if they can connect with someone they believe will be there for them long-term. If you're quick to jump in the hay after spending a few hours with them, they'll feel you're just as likely to jump in the hay with anyone else who happens to come along.

[Asker]

I actually really liked this guy I met recently. We had so much in common and there was definitely chemistry. I guess I always just assumed that a guy would want to keep hanging out if he really liked you. But really I think I need to change my perspective and how I go about showing I like someone. ESP after this comment.

[caring__1]

Say to him, "I've enjoyed our evening together. I'd like to meet up again, so we can get to know each other better." Never imply you're willing to spread your legs during your first meeting. If you give your body too quickly, guys won't be interested in learning what else you have to offer.

[Asker]

Great point. I’m going to take your advice for sure. Thank you 😊

[caring__1]

You're welcome.

[idkwhatsreal]

Guys are terrified to do things that fast now. I wouldn’t be surprised if they waited till they were actually in a relationship with you. But be patient, one night the guy you are looking for will be there

[PrettyPriya]

Perhaps they are misreading your signals. Also, maybe they actually LIKE and RESPECT you up until the point they find out you want to hook up.

[Asker]

Yeah I think I give the wrong impression to a lot of people in the wrong way. I’m actually just really social and bubbly , but I have been told that I come off as very sexual sometimes when I’m not meaning to. I always just said I couldn’t help it it’s who I am but I’m finally starting to think about this and why it seems that way and how to change it because I met someone I really liked and now he probably thinks I just wanted to hook up. 😭

[PrettyPriya]

I’m the same. Social and bubbly personality. Just take it slow next time. Invite the guy on a next date and for something more date like.

Perhaps at club say hey let’s exchange numbers and maybe meet for lunch or something similar.

[Asker]

That’s a really cute way to go about it I think. I’m going to do that next time

[PrettyPriya]

😊 Yep. Get a couple dates and then suggest movie night and make a move.

[Asker]

Yes ! I’m wondering if I can fix giving the wrong impression last night. Lol Probably I just need to move on and do better next time I make a connection. Sigh*

[PrettyPriya]

You definitely can! I don’t think it is lost. Suggest a coffee or lunch. Chat him up and let him get to know you. Open up a bit.

[Asker]

I will try that. Thanks for your help.

[PrettyPriya]

Most welcome and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Risk of false allegations, disease, robbery, being setup... there is a lot of risks involved for men that no one considers. To me, a guy would have to be absolutely insane to go home with any woman in this day and age. Then there is the new risks that come from the COVID 'vaccines' that people are going to start seeing within the next year. But since I am aware of the risks, I'm sure other men and women are as well.

The rewards do not match the risks...

[Asker]

No I totally get that. I actually was just talking about this with my friend and was thinking not knowing someone well and maybe feeling I was drunk they were afraid I would pull some #metoo on him or something.

[Opinion Owner]

There was a time when I used to approach any girl I found attractive where ever she was. I'd just walk up and say hello and take it from there. 99% of the time I had very friendly responses and reciprocation, I enjoyed the unknown, and the spontaneity of it all. But nowadays I would never do it, and never will again. I've noticed women make the approach but they have no idea how to because it's unnatural for them.

[Asker]

yes I agree

[Fuentes]

If we get drunk im not pushing it anywhere i can hold my liq. and have a heavy tolerance therefore i am. well aware of what im doing so i will not come with you or try anything more

[TheBigGuy9]

Well, first let me ask. How do you look? Height, weight, bust, hygiene, ass?

[TrillXHippy]

It means he’s not stupid and he doesn’t want to get falsely accused of something by you

[In_Trance]

Must be something you're saying or doing (or not)

[Asker]

Yes. I think after hearing some input that I realized I’m coming on too strong to quick. I’m going to stop that.

[Anonymous]

that's your mistake you're going to clubs quit going to clubs

[IncognitoBandito]

Might be too soon for them.