I am 20 and I am making $70,000/year, If we started dating and I revealed that how big of a deal is that for you?

[Anonymous]

[Xoxocutekitty]

Just because you make 70k now, doesn't always mean you will make 70k next year, or that you will use that 70k responsibly (ie with values that align with hers).

Some girls who love travel and new experiences would think you cheap if you saved every penny and never took a vacation with her (im assuming she's covering her own half as well). Some girls would think you stupid if you spent too much on booze/hobbies etc. Instead of saving for a house down payment or for a 401k.

I wouldn't mention your salary until you're in or looking for a relationship and are OK having these personal conversations with someone.

[Asker]

Well I am broke rn, I just started. Been through some rough times the past few years so sorry if i'm a penny pincher 🤷‍♂️

[Ez-Bri-Z]

Not a big deal in the slightest and I would recommend you already starting a retirement account and a nice savings account early just in case something happens to that job. That's about the extent I would mention it lol

[Asker]

fair enough I wouldn't shove the fact down a girls throat lol. I'm on my state's retirement fund and I got full medical so that's a bonus.

[whirled_up_girl]

When I was that age I might have thought it was someone with a stable income and that if we wanted kids we could both work and live comfortably.

[Asker]

Yeah 70k today ain't what it was years ago jeez even a year or two ago

[MrsTurkleton]

It isn’t as much of a big deal for girls as it is for guys

[Asker]

I humbly disagree, my parents went through a terrible divorce and while neither have ever said why, I know money had lots to do with it...

[MrsTurkleton]

My father tried to take pretty much everything in their divorce.
Mt family a have hotel business that does well & he was in the army ( a very commendable job) all he wanted was money when he left, he didn’t want anything to do with us. She gave him more than he was entitled to and they cut all ties.
They had a nasty end to their marriage. She has never been bitter about it. Money is a bigger deal to men than we men in general.
I work in mental health. I earn 65k a year. it’s a good wage, but it isn’t crazy. My boyfriend doesn’t currently have a job, and it has never bothered me.

Many guys seem to think that women are incapable of earning their own money & it’s a very outdated outlook.

[Asker]

so sorry to hear about your parents that's terrible and I can relate as my parent were both guilty of dragging on the divorce for way too long (8 years) I only ask the question bc i think money's important. I applaud and even expect my girlfriend if I had one to contribute a fair amount to build our future together.

[MrsTurkleton]

I know what you mean, and money is important day to day, but if I girl likes you, she would date you if you worked on a construction site. Money isn’t a factor in attraction for most girls.
We don’t put emphasis on it in the way that some guys do when it comes to dating.
Unless you are married, you are under no obligation to share anything about each other’s financial status. You are responsible for yourselves only.
My boyfriend asked me once if I wouldn’t rather date a lawyer and I just thought “what would me and lawyer talk about?”
We just want the person we gel with, and at our age, the person who excites us.

[Asker]

good take, thank you for your opinion :)

[Anonymous]

I would be more willing to make effort for the relationship to work.

[Asker]

Well i mean money is part of the deal for long term am i right?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, it make life easier. Not having to worry about the bills, food, etc..

[Asker]

I don't know if it's just me but I feel like for me. Making more money honestly compensates for my social ineptitude... I've never actually even been on a date due to that but since i'm not good on one aspect I feel the need to make up for it elsewhere.

[Opinion Owner]

It definitely compensate, it's like an ugly guy being funny to compensate for his physics.

[Agape93]

I don't care, it's your money.

[Anonymous]

Not a big deal. I easily made that myself.

[Asker]

let's say hypothetically we were in a relationship planning for the future while trying to have fun along the way. say we both make $70k a year. So $140k a year for both. Would you say that's adequate? keep in mind my salary will improve with time.

[Opinion Owner]

I don't see a problem.
I easily get by on what I make.

[Asker]

cool 👍